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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tesco delivery

57 replies

BusyBB · 10/12/2019 11:32

I usually take my Tesco delivery at the front door. the delivery person stands holding the tray and I try to take the heaviest things first and put the on the stalls I have waiting round the corner. One older lady driver sometimes takes the heavier items out and passes them to me before holding the tray with the lighter items. This is all fine.

I'm currently off work with a back injury, after being attacked by one of the disabled people I look after. Maybe I would feel differently about this if I wasn't.

so today's delivery, the driver said "are you okay with your shopping" to which I said yes, thinking he was talking about if I wanted it bought in or to take it from the door step. But instead he just put the stack in front of my door. there was 4 boxes with the first one I thought "ok, no reason for him to hold it for me as it's about the same height" but then he just took the boxes away one by one and I had to bend lower and lower to pick up my items. All in a rush because he is standing there shivering and not making conversation. I felt too embarrassed to ask him to lift the boxes for me.
AIBU to expect that he should have lifted the boxes or items without me having to ask?

OP posts:
bagginses · 10/12/2019 11:40

Yes YABU. Everyone has different preferences to how they want their boxes delivered- he isn't a mind reader. I'm sure he would have lifted them if you had then asked.

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 10/12/2019 11:43

He asked if you were ok with the shopping, you replied yes!

He’s done nothing wrong here.

I’d he’d lifted the boxes after you’d said you were ok, you could of started moaning about that as it seems delivery people can’t win.

Next time just ask them to lift the boxes

PinkSqidgyPig · 10/12/2019 11:53

Switch to Ocado. They are not as expensive as you might imagine. If you shop wisely you can remain within budget.
They bring the bags into your house and put them in the kitchen if you want them to. It's standard. When I had a bad back I asked them to put the bags on the work surface. Easier to unpack.
They are great.

my2bundles · 10/12/2019 11:55

Talk to him next time. He's not a mind reader.

melj1213 · 10/12/2019 11:57

YABU. The driver is not a mind reader, so when you said you were OK with the shopping he assumed that you were OK with the shopping.

If you had said "I have a bad back and cant bend down, can you lift these bottom crates for me please?" I am sure he would have done so, but you didn't actually speak to him so how was he to know?

OneHanded · 10/12/2019 11:58

Just tell them! I always put a note stating I need them bought through to the kitchen and then ask again when I answer the door. They gladly help take everything out and onto the worktop too, and that applies to usual ocado or if I’ve used Sainsbury’s, Asda or Waitrose too.

Thelnebriati · 10/12/2019 11:58

You could have said ''I'm sorry but I misunderstood you, I need help''.

Whattodoabout · 10/12/2019 11:59

He presumably wasn’t telepathic, you should have asked for help.

loobyloo1234 · 10/12/2019 12:00

Why didn't you just say 'I'm really sorry, suffering a bit with my back, could you lift this box for me so I dont have to bend over' Confused

Shoppingwithmother · 10/12/2019 12:00

I don’t know why you would get individual things out of the boxes while they hold it anyway? Surely it’s a long time for someone to hold up a heavy box.

They always bring the boxes straight into my kitchen and I unpack them, then they take all the boxes away in a stack - surely that’s normal?

Original poster
BusyBB · 10/12/2019 12:01

thanks everyone. I just felt so awkward as though I'd be asking for something extra.

OP posts:
NC4Now · 10/12/2019 12:04

You can make special requests when you place the order. This is exactly the kind of thing that box is for. Then the driver would already know.

Gazelda · 10/12/2019 12:05

All the Tesco delivery people that come to me offer to bring it through to my kitchen. I usually decline because the house is in chaos. So I carry the trays through (one at a time), unpack them then return them to the driver waiting at the front door.

I think you have made it harder for yourself than it needs to be, and you should have spoken up if you were having difficulty.

SilverySurfer · 10/12/2019 12:05

How was the driver to know that you had a bad back if you didn't tell him?

Don't go to Ocado, first time I ordered they didn't turn up and their customer services were worse than useless.

I'm disabled and find Tesco divers very helpful but they aren't mind readers! When I had just come out of hospital, one driver not only brought the shopping into my kitchen but also put stuff away in the fridge/freezer etc.

mrsm43s · 10/12/2019 12:16

I've never known them to lift boxes? It seems an odd idea to expect them to hold something heavy up just so you don't have to bend down.

If you wanted some help, you should have asked. I think most supermarket delivery people will bring things right in for you if you ask.

simplekindoflife · 10/12/2019 12:16

I'm not sure the delivery driver did anything wrong there. How did he know that you'd hurt your back?

I find the Tesco delivery drivers to be really helpful and they always bring my shopping straight through to my kitchen where I unload it straight onto my worktops - because I ask them to and they say yes!

When I was heavily pregnant, most of them wouldn't even let me take the heavy stuff out of the crates!

Butterfly02 · 10/12/2019 12:26

As a disabled person I have learnt I need to forget my stubenness for being independent at times and ask for help (not always easy but a necessity) 9 times out of 10 people are only to happy to help. Tesco delivery drivers IME are great (pitty they can't supply the groceries I require but that's a whole other thread). The drivers are always very helpful and will bring shopping in for me, most because I'm a regular know and I no longer need to ask but if they are new I'll ask and forget my pride because I know I can't do it any other way.

Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons · 10/12/2019 12:30

Our tesco drivers are lovely & have stayed outside when one of my children was fearful (he had a beard Grin), emptied the whole lot onto the table for me when I had a screaming newborn, helped my toddler help (kept the eggs away from them) etc etc
Just tell them where to put your shopping next time!
Hope your back feels better soon Flowers

Skyechasemarshalontheway · 10/12/2019 12:30

Tesco normally deliver to my kitchen. When I open the door they ask where to put it and walk through to the kitchen with it. I'd ask them to do that next time.

Angryandangry · 10/12/2019 12:32

Do they not bring the shopping inside? Surely it would be easier to put the crate on a table or counter than have the poor driver standing there holding the crate for you Confused
I'm in Ireland and get a Tesco shop delivered every week and I've never heard of anyone faffing at the door, the driver brings the crates into the kitchen, you unpack while he gets more crates. I'm due to get a shop delivered later, its stormy and pissing it down, I cant imagine expecting them to stand there holding the crate for me while I unpack.

Petrichor11 · 10/12/2019 12:35

YABU

you have a voice, use it! He’s not a bloody mind reader!

If you ask for help and he refused then you’d have a point, but expecting him to know your preference without you asking is just ridiculous

snowybaubles · 10/12/2019 12:39

This kind of thing winds me up. If I was your driver I would be quite irked to think that despite me asking if you were ok with the shopping you actually had a gripe.

Seriously, he asked and you said yes.

AIBU to expect that he should have lifted the boxes or items without me having to ask?

Hugely U: you didn't have to ask because the driver asked you first Hmm

BrioLover · 10/12/2019 12:45

My Tesco driver brings the trays of shopping into the kitchen for me as I have a bad back (not that it's noticeable from looking at me). Then I unload everything onto the kitchen table and sometimes I ask him/her to take the heavy stuff out. They are always offered a drink or a water refill too.

Ocado are also great, they bring the bags right in and will put them where you ask them to.

PassMeAnotherCoffee · 10/12/2019 12:56

You need to say. They'll be fine. They know lots of people use delivery because of injury and disability.
Get well soon Flowers.

BrokenWing · 10/12/2019 13:05

Our tesco driver brings into the kitchen and helps unload onto the worktops. One even brings a treat for the dog!

Never any problems, I've always just opened the front door and stood back and asked if they can put on the kitchen floor, then they help unload. They are on a tight schedule and keen to get moving.

They also don't care if your kitchen isn't spotless, they are in and out of kitchens in various states of use all day and don't even register it. The come in, help unload, get you to sign and leave.

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