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Original poster

What age for dietary choices?

75 replies

Fouryearoldvegan · 09/12/2019 16:26

My almost 4year old has just said "I don't want to eat animals, I want to be vegan". This is after some discussion earlier about why chicken nuggets are called chicken and when chicken (animals) are called chicken. He's now equated the meat on his plate with the animal.

I'm generally ok with him choosing what he eats out of the selection of food provided and he's a very good eater. But him bring vegan seems a bit, extreme? I guess.

I have a number of food allergies including legumes (beans and lentils, soy beans and peas but not peanuts or chickpeas). So me going vegan would be really hard so it's a two meals per evening job!

Is 4 too young to make this decision? Wwyd?

OP posts:
sleepismysuperpower1 · 09/12/2019 16:30

I would let him go vegetarian but not vegan. Give him things like quorn as a substitute. Did he specifically say he didn't want to eat all animal products, or has he just got the 2 confused?

CAG12 · 09/12/2019 16:33

Does he understand veganism vs vegetarianism?

Original poster
Fouryearoldvegan · 09/12/2019 16:40

sleepismysuperpower1 we've just had tears over putting an egg wash over the mince pies were making. I suggested milk instead and got "but it's from a cow, I don't want to eat any animals".

I'm really unhappy with the idea of just substituting his meat for Quorn etc as I work reaihard to cook nutritious meals and we very little processed food on the whole.

OP posts:
mencken · 09/12/2019 17:09

give it a week, he's 4. And keep him away from the internet and the news.

veganism is ok with supplements and non-fussy eating. As I said, he's 4 and you can't have vegan stuff due to allergies. Your need trumps his want.

or try more fish. They aren't cute and furry.

greenlobster · 09/12/2019 17:13

Send him to go play while you cook and stop telling him all about dietary choices?

Spamantha · 09/12/2019 17:13

I'm genuinely surprised a 3 year old has moral objections to animals products. Not wanting to eat animals I can understand but having a knowledge of the ethics of the dairy industry seems quite advanced...

RhymingRabbit3 · 09/12/2019 17:14

I wouldn't listen to a 4 year old when making huge decisions like this. He will probably have forgotten about it next week. Maybe try and do veggie more often.

TheDarkPassenger · 09/12/2019 17:14

I’ve had a vegetarian since almost birth! He’s always been disgusted that we eat meat and he’s never ever been forced here. Been forced at his dads though and he ended up with vomit all over his dinner table so I’d rather not!

Vegan is too much though, veggie yes, vegan no, not at that age

CAG12 · 09/12/2019 17:16

Please dont force him to eat meat if he doesnt want it. There are lots of alternatives.

sleepismysuperpower1 · 09/12/2019 17:18

why does he have a sudden aversion to animal products? has he watched something/ seen something on the internet maybe? maybe you could show him a video of a cow being milked (make sure to include 'for kids' in the search) and say that milk makes you big and strong etc? i can understand the not eating meat but at 3 it seems odd that he suddenly doesn't want any animal products at all

sleepismysuperpower1 · 09/12/2019 17:19

oh, and tell him that if he goes vegan that means no more chocolate, cake...

GinNotGym19 · 09/12/2019 17:22

I wouldn’t let a 4year old be vegan.
I think it’s good for children to know where food comes from. I’ve always told mine but luckily they’ve never been bothered by it.

Ohdearohdearyme · 09/12/2019 17:22

I would let him have a vegan diet and then if he chooses to go back to eating animal products at a later stage because he realises he cant have some of his favourite foods then so be it.

Elphame · 09/12/2019 17:25

Vegan chocolate is available and vegan cake is easy enough.

I'd let him go vegetarian. I'd be less comfortable with him being vegan because it is that much more difficult to ensure he gets what he needs. The odd piece of cheese or an egg makes it much easier.

TisTheSeasonToBeJollyFaLaLa · 09/12/2019 17:27

At 4, just tell him it's not meat for goodness sake! I have a nearly 4 year old, she sometimes claims to not like something, you just tell her it's something else. My daughter would happily eat chocolate every meal it doesn't mean I give her chocolate just because she says she wants it. You are the parent, stop pandering. I would not be excluding entire food groups in such a young child, whether they like it or not.

Tell him it means no chocolate or cake, pretty sure that'll cure him in no time.

paintedfences · 09/12/2019 17:30

I would want to know what the source of the vegan knowledge is. Is it a sibling, cousin, whoever who's explained the difference between vegetarian and vegan to him? What are his concerns about milk and cheese, that the animals suffer or does he think they die? Has he seen something online he shouldn't? Could you decide with him that you'll find a provider of free range dairy and go and see the farm together and see then if he's happy with eating their cheese and milk if you could get them delivered?

I'd absolutely allow him to be a vegetarian, but with your dietary restrictions vegan would be difficult for you all to achieve as a family and I'd be concerned about ensuring he has enough b12 and protein and so on with a vegan diet while he's so small.

managedmis · 09/12/2019 17:30

Where has he got all the info on veganism from?

Original poster
Fouryearoldvegan · 09/12/2019 17:35

Spamantha I don't think he has a moral objection to the dairy industry particularly, he just said he didn't want to milk wash the pies as milk was from a cow (which he's known for ages). I explained it wasn't eating an actual animal (his sister currently breastfeeds so we had a point of reference) but he wasn't having it.

Today we've actually had a veggie day, and lunch was a vegan soup (unintentionally) with bread. He asked what was in it and clarified it wasn't meat. And I've just added some beans to his portion of dinner and left out the white sauce (veggie moussaka).

He doesn't like milk so doesn't have that anyway and we have very little cheese or eggs but lots of veggie and fish meals. I think I'll keep offering the family meal but not force him to eat them and have some quick meat free stuff available for him until we've passed this phase (or it becomes apparent it isn't passing!).

OP posts:
Catapillarsruletheworld · 09/12/2019 17:39

He’s 4, you make his food and he is too young to make an informed choice.

I’m sure he’ll have forgotten all about it soon enough.

Dd1 had wanted to go vegetarian for a couple of years, DP finally gave in and agreed to let her about 10 months ago (I would have let her sooner). She was 14, though, not 4!

Original poster
Fouryearoldvegan · 09/12/2019 17:40

sleepismysuperpower1 we go to a local kids farm fairly regularly so he's seen cow's being milked by hand and machine.

He hasn't really got any info on veganism particularly, he talks about what things eat fairly frequently though, usually in relation to dinosaurs so he knows some dinosaurs eat meat and some were herbivores. He's previously asked if we eat meat (again in relation to dinosaurs) which I've answered honestly but that was ages ago. And we made a meal for a vegan friend a few months ago which is where the term 'vegan' was heard, but it was a passing comment, not something we dwelled on.

I honestly think his understanding is as simple as chicken in the garden = chicken on his plate and he doesn't like it.

OP posts:
lau888 · 09/12/2019 17:40

Compromise with a vegetarian diet. I wouldn't go vegan on the whim of a toddler - it's a lot of hard work because of all the label-checking, although you do say you already cook everything from scratch... If he's worried about cows being milked, maybe talk about how humans (and all mammals) also produce milk? It could be easier for him to understand that lactation doesn't harm cows if he understands it doesn't harm humans. Might also be useful if any of your friends keep chickens or a pet goat, etc.

kenandbarbie · 09/12/2019 17:45

When my brother decided he wouldn't eat carrots, my mum gave him ' caroons' instead. Just saying. I'd send him out to play when preparing meals and not tell him it's meat. I don't think giving a child that age much of a choice is a good idea. They need you to make choices for them.

Toomanycats99 · 09/12/2019 17:47

My dd went vegetarian at age 6.5 for about 6 months. She had been talking about it for quite a while.

HotWaterBottleAndABottleOfWine · 09/12/2019 17:50

Firstly, how did he know the word vegan and what it meant?

Secondly, he's 4. It's unlikely he'll know or understand that his healthy vegetable soup contains cream, and that this comes from cows and that vegans don't eat dairy etc... Or that his sweets in his take home present contain gelatin, or that certain pastas contain eggs or that many vegans don't eat honey. He's getting this from you or someone else. You need to set the rules and boundaries for a 4 year old. If you e decided to raise him vegan, that is for you to decide, not him.

I think 4 is waaay too young. I'm a vegan, and previous a vegetarian. My children eat meat, and now the eldest is 8 I'd let him go vegetarian of he was desperate for some reason (he's not), but vegan? No way til they are at least teenagers.

Original poster
Fouryearoldvegan · 09/12/2019 17:52

Toomanycats99 is she still veggie?

I have big issues with telling him lies about what he's eating. I also won't force him to eat things- I was forced to eat beans as a child, it was a real battle and I'd get very upset. I was too young to make the link between me eating them and being ill (as it's not immediate) but it's now obvious my subconscious knew. It wasn't until I was hospitalised that the link was made.

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