What age for dietary choices?

[Fouryearoldvegan]

My almost 4year old has just said "I don't want to eat animals, I want to be vegan". This is after some discussion earlier about why chicken nuggets are called chicken and when chicken (animals) are called chicken. He's now equated the meat on his plate with the animal.

I'm generally ok with him choosing what he eats out of the selection of food provided and he's a very good eater. But him bring vegan seems a bit, extreme? I guess.

I have a number of food allergies including legumes (beans and lentils, soy beans and peas but not peanuts or chickpeas). So me going vegan would be really hard so it's a two meals per evening job!

Is 4 too young to make this decision? Wwyd?

I'm shocked that so many people would lie to their children about what they're eating. If a child says they don't want to eat animals, that should be respected. I'd support him going vegetarian if he's a good eater as there are plenty of easy, healthy options.

I'd probe a bit more about other animal products and discuss his objections to each and agree or otherwise depending on his reasons.

My own DD decided to be veggie at the same age, also when she asked what chicken is made from. Age 5, she is still veggie and doesn't eat honey ("not fair on the bees") or dairy ("not fair on the cows"). She does eat eggs. She eats a healthy, balanced diet and I'm supportive of her choices, largely because she isn't a fussy eater and eats all veg and pulses. It's a lot cheaper than meat/fish as well! I don't have the same constraints you do, though, which makes it a challenge.

1066vegan I won't be lying to him, I don't think that's ok. And yes, it's not fussiness.

If it weren't for my dietery restrictions I think we'd eat a fair amount of vegan food anyway, though I'm not ethically opposed to meat consumption.

fruityconfusedhotdog, yes, if it continues I'll be sad to lose the family shared meal.

@Fouryearoldvegan There must be a few options you can both have, so you don't have to lose the shared meal entirely. What meals do you both enjoy now? Did I understand your post correctly that you can have chickpeas, but not other beans or lentils? No soya so tofu is out... I'm sure I can suggest a few things

DD first said she wanted to be vegetarian when she was 5yo but it took her a year to build up the strength of will to do it. She’s been vegetarian for 2.5 years now for the same reasons as your DS. I don’t think you can dismiss someone’s strongly help moral beliefs, even if they are 4yo. Especially when they are right, eating meat harms animals and is very difficult to excuse (I say this as someone who has eaten meat all her life).

fruityconfusedhotdog I do some nice vegan chickpea curries so yes, we could probably do a family meal once or twice a week but more than that and I think I'd be risking him not getting nutrients.

From the other side. I am veggie and have raised my children as vegetarian. I always said that at age 5 they could make their own decisions. Both have now tried meat out of curiosity but have decided to remain veggie for now. Had they chosen to eat meat I would have tried to accommodate it. DH eats meat. I suspect had I been a meat eater I would have done the same the other way round.

You must be so proud of him! He’s displaying extraordinary intelligence and empathy for a 4 year old. That’s so lovely and well done you for accommodating him, I think it sends an important message as a parent that you’ll consider your children’s ethical concerns with respect however young they are. Have you seen the Tesco ad with the little girl who says she doesn’t want to eat animals any more and her dad cooks her vegetarian food? Reminds me of that

I agree with PP’s, veggie but not vegan at that age

You probably don't really have much choice op. Unless the egg or cheese/milk is hidden in a sauce, he can just refuse to eat it. You can't force him to eat anything, so it might just be easier to go with it for a while. It may be a short lived phase.

kikisparks I think thomust have been the advert a previous poster mentioned, I haven't seen it as we don't have a TV licence (we do have a TV but only watch Netflix and Amazon prime).

I don't think he's any more intelligent or empathetic than any other kid, he is more sensitive though which I think has led to this.

I do make an effort to ensure he feels listened to though.

But as an added fyi... The cows are in pain for milk.... There is a certain level of pus that is acceptable in milk for it to be consumed! Plus... They have their babies ripped from them, so please don't lie to your son and say that milk is painless to the cows.

There are milk alternatives like oat milk which has added calcium etc.

And if you are talking about the chicken in chicken nuggets, quorn is definitely not worse than that! If anything, there is probably less fat in them than chicken ones.

BTW, I'm not veggie or vegan, but people seem to be oblivious about the milk industry

blueluce85 I'm not oblivious to the dairy or meat industry, I just don't really care. He doesn't have any milk anyway as he doesn't like it, never has.

We very rarely eat processed food so I'd be fine with Quorn nuggets occasionally but I wouldn't want to replace all his meat with processed alternatives, I'd rather use pulses and beans.

I mean doesn't have milk as in to drink or on cereal etc, he has it as an ingredient in stuff like mash or bechamel sauce.

I also have no idea how/ why people are voting or which option yanbu etc is! I didn't enable voting!

How does your WWYD equate to your voting poll?

BlouseAndSkirt not a clue.

OP: but you set it up! How do you want us to vote?
YANBU= ??

YABU= ??

I didn't set it up. They've changed the voting from automatically disabled to automatically enabled, and I forgot to turn it off.

I would just continue feeding him what he wants until he forgets about the word. Make a big thing about him choosing new fruit and veggies that he would like to try, could be fun? Soups and stews right now as it's cold too.

I know he's a bit older but Annabel karmel will have some good stuff on her insta, I have a few books with loads of veggy stuff in them.

My friends Vegan, been a veggy since she was 10 years old. Has a DC same age and has never made them eat a pure vegetarian diet, DC eats meat and gets a choice but if she's cooking a vegan meal DC will happily eat it or she'll even cook two meals so they don't miss out.

Oohhhhh, thank you Fouryearoldvegan that explains it! I have spent the last few days getting really irritated and frustrated with nonsensical vote options, and couldn't understand why MNers seemed suddenly to not know how to ask a simple question!

With your own history of food allergies I’d make as little fuss about diet and keep the range of foods he eats as wide as possible.

My DD has a peanut allergy and tried to go vegetarian- she really wanted to.
Then she went into anaphylaxis eating vegetarian sausages , because soy is a legume as are peanuts.
So I would personally keep him eating as wide a variety of foods as possible - just in case you suddenly have to cut one out for medical reasons.

I’d let a 4 year old be vegan, on the provision that they are a very health

I’d like a 4 year old be vegetarian on the provision that they eat a good diet. There can’t be any refusing veggies if he wants to skip meat.

I wouldn’t allow him to be vegan. I don’t believe you can get all the right fats a growing brain needs without animal sources. Dairy and eggs are an excellent compromise if he doesn’t want to eat animals. We evolved as omnivores and I just am not confident that veganism is truly safe for a young child.

I was four when I decided to be vegetarian. More than 30 years on I've never eaten meat or fish since. Go with his ethics and let him choose.