What age for dietary choices?

[Fouryearoldvegan]

My almost 4year old has just said "I don't want to eat animals, I want to be vegan". This is after some discussion earlier about why chicken nuggets are called chicken and when chicken (animals) are called chicken. He's now equated the meat on his plate with the animal.

I'm generally ok with him choosing what he eats out of the selection of food provided and he's a very good eater. But him bring vegan seems a bit, extreme? I guess.

I have a number of food allergies including legumes (beans and lentils, soy beans and peas but not peanuts or chickpeas). So me going vegan would be really hard so it's a two meals per evening job!

Is 4 too young to make this decision? Wwyd?

I think I would let him be vegan-ish. As in not give him milk cheese or egg etc, as this is what he states he doesn't want to eat, but I wouldn't be checking labels etc so would continue as normal in that respect. He will either grow out if the phase or not, but if he's a good veggie eater, I wouldn't want the battle.

Four is a bit young, I don’t think four year old’s generally think very much about their diet beyond refusing to eat certain vegetables.

I became a vegetarian at the age of 12, my Mum was surprisingly supportive and bought Quorn alternatives. Quorn has improved a lot since then, it used to taste like cardboard.

Anyway, I think an overall reduction in meat intake would be good for everyone if only for the planet so definitely cook some more veggie meals and see if he changes his mind in time.

Is someone close to you telling him this, it seems to young to be that coherent in their desires - mine could barely speak! (Asd admittedly). Personally I would say secondary school before they get to choose such an extreme diet, they really cannot understand the impact it will have eg no more kids chocolate, no more cake!

Bubblysqueak he's a great eater so yes, very conscious of not wanting to disrupt that. We've never had issues with him eating veg etc. I'm very relaxed around food which I think helps, never made him eat something, one more spoonful or brides with dessert etc, I just let him get on with it and 95% of the time he eats something of everything (we self serve at the table).

oh, and tell him that if he goes vegan that means no more chocolate, cake

There are vegan cakes and chocolate.

lifeisgoodagain I don't think so. He literally came to me today and said "I don't want to eat animals" I proved a bit further and he said he didn't want to eat animals because he doesn't think we should and that Daisy (my friend the vegan we cooked for a few months ago) doesn't eat meat because she's a began (he meant vegan) and triceratops don't eat meat.

He's met Daisy once, a few months ago, so she's not been talking to him about it. I sincerely doubt he has any higher level understanding of the issue, he's not some kind of child genius!

*probed not proved

@Limensoda I know, but a 4 year old won't necessarily know that and so it might make them re think the wanting to go vegan

I think you should respect his wishes

It’s perfectly possible for children to have a healthy vegan diet. Obviously as you can’t eat a lot of stuff it might mean making something for him and freezing portions of it and I probably wouldn’t get too worried about him being 100% vegan - as in I wouldn’t check bread for traces of milk etc

But I think it’s the right thing to do to accept he doesn’t want to eat animal products.

It makes me laugh that people say it’s not right/healthy etc while they’re likely feeding their kids nuggets, burgers & smiley faces. 🙄🙄

You don't need to lie. Just don't draw too much attention to what things are. Does he ask what each food item is?

Perhaps if you put food on his plate instead of self serving. The self serving might be making him think about his food choices more than most four year olds?

He wont understand being vegan. Its just linking ideas to his food. My children dont like chicken if we go out as we have chickens. But they dont know unless i tell them its chicken at home. Quorn is not bad but highly processed as most alternatives are. I would just increase vegetables and buy less meat but higher quality. Meat and dairy arent evil despite the trend atm.

My to make him eat. Just put all the food on his plate and don't say anything.

Sorry that made no sense! Put all the food on his plate, say nothing, he can leave the bits he doesn't want.

@Fouryearoldvegan

It lasted about 6 months but she hated the school veggy roast dinners so swopped back (at the time I had no time to make make pack lunches) . She is now 8 and has recently mentioned doing it again so we will see.

we've just had tears over putting an egg wash over the mince pies were making. I suggested milk instead and got "but it's from a cow, I don't want to eat any animals".

Here's your answer: he is too young to actually understand what he's asking. Eating milk is not 'eating animals'. I would just cut back on obvious meat like chops or steaks or whatever and give him things without making a big deal about what's in them. I certainly would not cut out eggs or dairy from his diet, and given your other constraints, I think he also needs to keep eating meat, to be honest.

I expect he's heard that advert that's on about a child coming home saying she doesn't want to eat meat and dad making a veggie meal.

we've just had tears over putting an egg wash over the mince pies were making. I suggested milk instead and got "but it's from a cow, I don't want to eat any animals".

That's quite an overreaction from a little 4 year old.

I'd let him become veggie and change the subject every time he gets dramatic about milk and eggs.

As a PP said, he'll probably be focusing on something else next week.

It would be tricky if you're not a vegan yourself, just because you'd have to think about what to cook until you had built up a repertoire of basic meals that you can produce without thinking about it too much. Vegan meals aren't tricky in themselves and these days there are loads of vegan cookery books and websites, include plenty that are suitable for young children.

Many vegans (myself included) bring up their children to be vegan from birth. They only nutrient that isn't found naturally is B12 and you get that in marmite and in some margarines and cereals. A 4 year old can definitely get a healthy balanced diet as a vegan.

I think that you should respect his decision as it's ethical rather than just fussiness. Vegan sweets, cakes, chocolate, jellies and other sweet treats are all available these days, many just in supermarkets so you don't have to go to a different shop.

I think it's terrible that so many posters think that it's ok to lie to young children (eg by feeding them meat and pretending that the meal is veggie) or to disrespect the children's beliefs when these are inconvenient rather than conflicting with their own morals.

As others have said, it may just be a short lived phase anyway. But please respect his beliefs while the phase lasts.

ibleedibreedibreaatfeed I eat meat and dairy, I don't have an issue with it. I'm certainly not giving lots of information on the subject.

Kenandbarbie he's going through a questioning phase, so yes, he asks about all the food, what his plate is made from, why the wind blows, why we have a cream sofa, why the cat is asleep. He's exhausting at the moment!

My niece was 3 when she put 2&2 together about cute little lambs and the lamb on her plate, and declared she isn't eating lamb anymore. No one said anything about dietary choices to her. She's 5.5 now and still won't eat it, but she barely eats anything anyway. She will eat chicken and salmon though. Because she eats next to nothing no one is going to point out chicken is/are chickens etc.

I've got vegan "chocolate substitute" in an advent calendar (there was a reason it was reduced to 49p) let him try some of that, it's foul.
TBF, I usually only eat dark chocolate, which is dairy free anyway, but that's probably a bit dull on for children!

It makes me laugh that people say it’s not right/healthy etc while they’re likely feeding their kids nuggets, burgers & smiley faces

That's stereotyping a huge group of people and judging their diet while objecting to the same being said about vegans and veganism.

OP I have been vegetarian, vegan and a meat eater. I take an interest in the nutritional aspects of it all, and I honestly would be concerned that it would be difficult for him to eat a balanced enough diet as a rapidly growing child as a vegan, especially given the difficulties you have with beans etc. B12, iron zinc, proper protein (all essential amino acids plus those that are difficult for us to synthesize), and calcium and vitamin D would all be on my to watch like a hawk list.

My son was 3 when he decided that he didn't want to eat animals. A veggie diet wasn't hard to accomodate. I checked with him that he was ok with no nuggets, Haribo (didn't know about Halal version back then), burgers etc and he was successfully veggie for about a year.

A vegan diet would have been hard as we eat cheese with quite a few meals and I'm not sure if he'd accept cereal with non-dairy milk. Plus there were only about 5-7 veggies that he'd eat and as a toddler it was a matter of time before he got sick of them and I'd be nutritionally stuck.

WorraLiberty he's actually a really sensitive kid, much more so than his peers. So not an overreaction from him generally (which is a surprise to me as I'm stone hearted!).

For the sake of brevity I didn't type the transcript of our conversation but it included talking about milking not hurting, it being like me breastfeeding etc.

As I said he doesn't have milk anyway and we don't eat much cheese as a family but I could increase his consumption of it.

I'm reasonably happy to batch cook some vegan stuff if he keeps it up. I'm really hoping it's a phase though.