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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel my heart sink at DH's anniversary card message?

115 replies

Berrie · 23/08/2007 09:20

'You are a great friend and a smashing wife.'

Is it just me?

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Original poster
Berrie · 23/08/2007 09:58

Thanks anyway everyone. I was beginning to wish I'd never posted but thanks those of you who have pointed out the sentiments behind the blokey words

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UnquietDad · 23/08/2007 10:00

Seems a nice message to me!

BandofMothers · 23/08/2007 10:02

Berrie, at least he didn't write a load of mush knowing it was what you wanted to hear and not really meaning it. He wrote what he felt, and meant it and that has to be better, right???

alycat · 23/08/2007 10:03

Berrie, yanbu!

Now if it said BEST FRIEND...well thats better.

However my husband always writes mush, he is the least romantic person I've ever come accross. So I just think 'creep'.

sarahloumadam · 23/08/2007 10:03

Maybe it sounded better in his head than on paper! I'm sure it was heart-felt. I am also rubbish with words and regularly get teased by my DH for being so unromantic but I completely adore him.

On a slight tangent, I once got a card from a friend that was meant to be a card for a pet dog!! Think she was trying to tell me something?!

bran · 23/08/2007 10:03

I slightly mistrust men who are full of flowery compliments, I always suspect them of being insincere like Jeffrey Archer. A proper manly man ought to be judged by his actions not his words IMO.

MyTwopenceworth · 23/08/2007 10:04

A great friend is a wonderful, strong and lasting basis for a marriage. Your other half should be your best friend

Original poster
Berrie · 23/08/2007 10:05

BandOM...honestly? I think I'd rather have the mush...unless like alycat it sounded insincere. I suppose it would depend on whether he could pull it off!

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Marina · 23/08/2007 10:07

Berrie, nice to see another couple that didn't rush in to marriage (20 years together and 11 married).
I think he's written with great warmth and if my dh wrote that in a card I'd be thrilled to bits, as cheerful warmth is not my dh's forte, he is the melancholy type.
Have a lovely day, both of you I'm sure you will, and congratulations.

Marina · 23/08/2007 10:08

Believe me, unsuccessful mush is not actually that effective, and has to be hidden from your beady-eyed and nosy visiting parents

Original poster
Berrie · 23/08/2007 10:08

Oh dear...I suppose I feel it goes without saying that we are very good friends. Good friends goes with the daily grind of everyday living with all the ups and downs. Being a freind does not however make me feel special. He has other good friends...there is only 1 me!

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Original poster
Berrie · 23/08/2007 10:09

Thanks Marina
Oh I KNOW! I never read peoples cards...well not if they can see me anyway!

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MaryAnnSingleton · 23/08/2007 10:12

is it your anniversary today Berrie ? if so have a happy one - it's mine today (12 yrs) and I got a nice card - no great poetic message just the usual but really nice. Also got cards from my parents,parents-in-law plus a cheque for dinner out and one from my s-i-l -so feel very lucky.

Original poster
Berrie · 23/08/2007 10:15

Oh Mary that's nice. Are you going out tonight?
Yes it is today, it was a Thursday that year too. This time then I would be beginning to get ready I suppose...and I was still in my 20's (only just)

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aloha · 23/08/2007 10:15

He does sound a little as if he has recently arrived here from 1940, but I see that as a wholly praiseworthy characteristic. I'm sure David Niven would have put something similar.

Hurlyburly · 23/08/2007 10:17

A lot of men are emotionally inarticulate. Think he meant well. Think he meant sweetly. So YABU.

Original poster
Berrie · 23/08/2007 10:18

aloha

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MaryAnnSingleton · 23/08/2007 10:19

I think we were sitting drinking coffee with our new coffee maker (wedding present!) - got married at 3 - it was baking hot ! How many years are you married now berrie ? We married 5 yrs to the day,bit daft as it was a Wednesday and probably a nuisance for our guests. Ds has just handed me a home made card - awwwwww! We're going out on Saturday and tonight having nice supper at home ...what about you ?

MaryAnnSingleton · 23/08/2007 10:19

I meant 5 yrs to the day we met -

soapbox · 23/08/2007 10:21

Oh you have me very worried now!

This is the verse I have just used in my card to my DH for our 10th wedding anniversary!

This Day I Married My Best Friend

This day (10 years ago) I married my best friend

...the one I laugh with as we share life's wondrous zest,

as we find new enjoyments and experience all that's best.

...the one I live for because the world seems brighter

as our happy times are better and our burdens feel much lighter.

...the one I love with every fiber of my soul.

We used to feel vaguely incomplete, now together we are whole.

Will he be sitting thinking 'best friend'

Original poster
Berrie · 23/08/2007 10:22

6 years today.
How was the message Mary?

Like you we are staying in tonight and out tomorrow.

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Nip · 23/08/2007 10:22

I would be super chuffed with that. I get "LOVE MR NIP" not even a 'To Nip'.

twentypence · 23/08/2007 10:22

I like his message Berrie.

It beats what one boyfriend thought was a great compliment:

"you are so strong and organised"...

(that you won't mind or even notice if I dump you next week)

aloha · 23/08/2007 10:23

He'd probably prefer, 'to my husband, the man with the biggest penis in the whole world', but hey.

Original poster
Berrie · 23/08/2007 10:23

Not at all Soapbox...did you make that up? It's lovely.

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