To feel my heart sink at DH's anniversary card message?

[Berrie]

'You are a great friend and a smashing wife.'

Is it just me?

Oh I feel like a real cow now...I'm not upset...like I said...it made my heart sink that's all...

ooooh its ours in 4 days.

Once, just to make you all vom, DH actually wrote me a poem. I also usually get a little poem in cards from the dd's, which he writes, obv.
He will always write lovey stuff.

But I think saying you are his best friend is very nice. You have to be friends too.
I love when Dh says I am his best friend, cos that means I am the one he wants to call/talk to if something happens, I am the one he wants to do things with etc.

Agree with Mascara - blokeyspeak maybe, but are his sentiments for you intact? If they are, you're being a tad harsh, if you don't mind me saying.

Maybe it made me feel uncomfortable about the lack of passion in our marriage

what finer accolade than to be a 'great friend'?

It depends on what sort of bloke he is...like many here, if my Dh said that I'd be thrilled because I just get "Love from Me. xxx" if I'm lucky enough for him to remember and actually get a card! If I got what your Dh wrote I'd be really chuffed that he actually thought enough to write something himself(I sometimes wonder if he even reads the verses in the cards he does get!)
However if he is normally more eloquent then, yes, I would be a bit concerned.

Pan, I'm not being harsh, I'd never complain to him and I'm not upset or mardy or anything...I just thought it was interesting the way his words made me feel and wondered if others might see it the same.

ooh misdee what good timing for an anniversary!

Ha ha - I totally sympathise. It was my first anniversary last week and my DH phoned me up and said "wait until you read my card. You will cry. I nearly did writing it". I was expecting something major (I mean, he nearly cried!) It says, "To my darling wife, what a year, love your husband". Nice but hardly something to make me cry! I guess in manspeak it says 'I love you, you are my world, you are an incredibly beautiful woman, wife and mother to our adorable little boy and I am the luckiest man in the world to have you in my life'. I told him I cried when I read it! He was pleased as punch. Bless them. They try!

i think in a males point of view this is a great compliment he sees you as his friend and a brilliant wife if he worded it this way maybe you would of taken it better but its us women who are poetic i think its great

you seem to have a good man who is not great with wording things but a smashing wife is also a great compliment pay no attention to how it was written just the meaning

its better than cheers for great years lol

He's not great with words and it's lovely that he tries. He always does try it's just that this year he picked out the friend bit...I know that he is highlighting the support he feels I've given him recently...I understand that, it's nice, I'm glad he appreciates me in that way...but it sent a chill because he would normally mention, in a blokey way how much he loves me it just felt like I'd been downgraded to friend I suppose.
Believe me, I'm not reading great problems into it, I'm not siting here feeling heartbroken...I just didn't like it much for some reason!

Aqua !

I think the fact he mentioned you are his friend before wife is kind of nice.

I would LOVE to get that message in my card.
In every card DP gives me I get a whole half side filled with mush and, you know obviously thats really really lovely but its just not necessary (I friggin' hate cards anyway). I dont need it said in a card to know what he means.

I would find it really refreshing and very endearing to get your message.

I think that is a lovely message. I would have loved a message like that in one of my anniversary cards!

berrie, how long have you been married? Has he had to think of a new message each year? gets harder each time! We are on number 4 in a few weeks and can guarentee i will get a pre-printed one from moonpig.com where they have thought of the message for you!

I will still be grateful as he had to make the effort to pick it.

(btw, thoroughly recommend that site....moonpig, you can set up a calender so you get an email reminder of up coming birthdays, anniversarys etc etc, you log on, choose a card, personalise it and they will even post it to the person for you! so for those of us who find it hard to 'NIP' to the shops these days, a god send!)

Thanks Meeley, I'll look at that.
Six years today but together 20 years in November...that's a lot of birthday cards etc!

I have to LOL at the cpmplete lack of soppy, sentimenta romance, but it's heartfelt and sincere - he thinks the world of you. In his mind 'smashing wife' almost certainly encompasses everything you hoped he might say - including the passion.

And DP is 100% incapable of any sense of romance whatsoever.

you are lucky you got a card, lol

Funny how some of you would like it because you don't get messages and some of you like it because your messages are too long and soppy!

If you're stilll his best friend after 20 years I think you should be whooping, and go and buy some champers or something. 20 years is HUGE.

I think that's a nice message, personally.