To wonder what happens if you don't turn up to collect from school?

[Tiredmum1511]

What happens to the child?

@Tiredmum1511 You actually had me worried there for a minute with the tired reply
Glad it's not as bad as I thought it was

What reasons would you have for not turning up?

Is there a dad, paternal family, childminder, friends, neighbours that could be emergency contacts?

At ours all emergency contacts are tried for one hour , repeatedly every five minutes if there is no response from main contact/usual pick up after ten mins. If after one hour there is no response this is reported to the police and social services. Our school insists on two other contacts, they don't have to live in the actual town of school but there must be two other numbers that could if needed collect.

oP, you can add a friends parent you could trust? It doesn't have to be a family member.

Mostly as people said SS duty officers are contacted, at which point things move v e r y slowly in the hope the parent will make an appearance. I remember one child who went home with the DH and stayed with her overnight ( she knew mum was having huge problems and didn't want to put further pressure on the family, luckily it all worked out). Then there was the call from a West End Police station saying three of our mums had been early Christmas shoplifting and wouldn't be back in time for pick up....

Why wouldn't you turn up to collect your children??

What reasons would you have for not turning up?

I know of a case where a parent was involved in a car accident on their way to school.

When I was single I had my childminder as an emergency contact.

I always worried what would happen if I was in a crash on my way to school. Morbid, but that’s where my mind goes worryingly regularly.

I out a note in the car that I was on my way to collect from “x school” and to please ring them and let them know. It had childminders number on too.

Ideally, emergency contacts would include a few relatives in addition to the parents. But if you don't have anyone, is there another parent that you are good friends with? If you asked, there might be someone who would be willing to be added to your contact list so that your dc could be released to them in an emergency.

It's happened at two different schools I've worked in. The first was a school nursery it was so unusual for that parent and they only lived two streets away so me and another member of staff went to their house (left the child at school) we found the mum in a diabetic coma fortunately she recovered in hospital. We got in touch with other contacts who collected the little boy. The second a different school no contracts could be reached so police and social services were informed. The head at this school also threatened parents who repeatedly turned up late that she'd report as an abandoned child.

If you have problems or are struggling talk to the school lots of times they can help or point in the right direction.

OP, do you have an abusive XP who is not to be contacted? Or is it the case that you have no family members nearby to be your emergency contact? As PP have said, if the school can't get hold of anyone, they will contact SS and the police.
If you don't have any family nearby, is there a trusted friend who could look after your DC for you if you got held up at work or whatever?

A friend and I put each other down as additional emergency contacts for our respective DC when they were at primary school together. We both had no local family and our DHs had a reasonable commute, so we would be quicker to get to school if there was an emergency.

OP do you have a friend who would be willing to do that?

Ex is court ordered no direct or indirect contact. My fear is dd would end up with him

3:15 school finishes
3:30 taken to office and contacts phoned.

3:45 if no contacts are answering or are unavailable SS is phoned.

A member of staff stays with the child.

It has been me quite often and I don’t mind but I would like a thank you not ignored.

OK OP you need to find/choose someone you trust who is willing to be your backup. YANBU for thinking about it. I fairly recently had to ask the school to remove my mum's number from their contact list as she got called by them (DS' dad's phone had run out of battery and I didn't hear mine at the time) and it distressed her as she lives 12 miles away and no longer drives.

I really had no other contact than h or myself, he travelled a lot. My mum was the 3rd contact as school required 3, but she lived 200 miles away - school reassured me that two members of staff were certified to take kids home in an emergency where contact could be made but it would take time for them to get there. Once we got to know people here it was easier and less worrying.

Ex is court ordered no direct or indirect contact. My fear is dd would end up with him

If he has parental responsibility, then it is likely.

If you are incapacitated and social services need to step in, they will also probably look to her other parent first.

So if this is a genuine cause for concern, you need to establish a robust back-up plan and make sure all issues are documented with school etc.

As others said you try to make contact and phone around.

If no contact come 5pm we phone S S and Police.

We don't have any clubs passed 4.30 and this allows for a parent thinking their child is attending. The timing will vary for other schools.

When I was 11, an after school sports match got cancelled (winter time). This was decades before mobile phones. All the other girls' parents got called and they got collected but my PE teacher ended up just going home and leaving me behind in an unlit, pitch dark car park till the original pick up time when my mum came as scheduled, and found me huddled on the kerb by myself, freezing.

She understandably lost her shit with the teacher/school. I "coincidentally" never got picked for the team again despite being one of the best players.

She only recently told me how scared she'd been at finding me there all alone in the dark.

Tiredmum
No that should never happen.
We had a case years ago where a dad who had only recently had contact back turned up very late and drunk. The child was taken elsewhere and the Headteacher spoke to dad. Dad got very verbal. He wasn’t in a fit state to be in charge of his child and when he became abusive the police were phoned. Mum came later.

As long as the staff knows that he is not to have contact they would not contact him or give the child to him. It is passed onto other staff if supply.

3:15 school finishes
3:30 taken to office and contacts phoned.

3:45 if no contacts are answering or are unavailable SS is phoned.

SS phones after just half an hour
I’ve known a couple of parents be very late due to a car crash and another was taken ill. Lovely to think school would call SS within such a short space of time!

Do you know any other parents locally? I'd happily be an emergency contact for my friends. I've picked up their kids due to them getting stuck in traffic occasionally, which is obviously different. I live in an area where lots of people don't have local family, so we have to find alternatives to grandparents etc.

Staff rarely go home before six. Sometimes children stay with a member of staff if contact has been made.

We had a child that was a possible snatch case. We were very vigilant. We security locks on all the outside doors and fob only on some internal doors.

I think as long as you have a meeting with the Headteacher so they are fully informed it should be fine.

Yes OP, you must put a system in place, get the mother of DDs best friend, meet her at school Monday, ask her if it would be possible for her to pick up DD if you couldn't make it. Try and meet her for coffee, or if you have a good realtionship with your neighbour that might be another way. Most parents have a back up plan, usually GPs, it just means, you need to look elsewhere.