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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a lot of the hard luck stories on here are people hoping to be sent money and goods?

148 replies

silverpurplegold · 08/12/2019 10:36

It used to happen a LOT more. I was reading some old threads this morning looking for something I remembered and came across a lot of tales of woe and hardship.

Have you ever sent money or goods to anybody? Were they genuine?

OP posts:
rosiejaune · 08/12/2019 17:21

I tend to reject suggestions by others, because I know more about my life than them, and I've already thought of all the options and there are reasons they wouldn't work/be suitable.

That doesn't mean I'm after money though.

So don't write them all off as scammers. Not that you need to offer them money either.

AllergicToAMop · 08/12/2019 17:28

I tend to reject suggestions by others, because I know more about my life than them, and I've already thought of all the options and there are reasons they wouldn't work/be suitable.
That doesn't mean I'm after money though.
So don't write them all off as scammers. Not that you need to offer them money either.

What would you expect from the thread then? If you thought of all the options then make it clear you just want a moan, which is fine as long as it's clear.

RustyParker · 08/12/2019 17:32

Ah Hobnobs I remember that poster. She got sent lots of nappies too if I remember and said on thread she didn't need anymore, then someone posted they had nappies, lo and behold "I'll pm you". The thread had been going on for nearly two years, she was still in the same situation, always finding a reason not to contact help, then when confronted on the thread why this situation was still ongoing after all this time, claimed it was only a recent thing when the evidence was right there. Didn't she deny getting parcels until SW admitted sending them. She had some front [shocked]

AllergicToAMop · 08/12/2019 17:34

Who is SW? Anyone knows if the thread is still here?Shock It sounds like a fascinating read

Ivalueloyaltyaboveallelse · 08/12/2019 17:37

@DontPetTheSweatyStuff you’ve done all the right things and try to stay positive, I know easier said then done but hopefully with the help of CAB things will be sorted quickly and only get better.

AllergicToAMop · 08/12/2019 17:43

Nvm. Found itShock

LivingDeadGirlUK · 08/12/2019 17:46

There are people on this thread posting about sending things or receiving things, but surely you can only do this if you give out/ ask for someones address? So someone can't send you something as a complete surprise, you have to say 'yes here is my address'?

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 08/12/2019 17:51

I will never understand
A. People who hand over their address to complete randoms on the internet
B. People who send money to randoms in the internet
The average twelve year old is more internet safe and savvy it would seem
Would you respond with cash offers to a Nigerian prince with dodgy spelling asking for your bank details? Probably not
So why would you think that it's ok to post to someone with a hard luck story on mumsnet
Do people really believe that this is a safe cosy space?
If you have money to burn donate it to your local food bank or charity

PortiaCastis · 08/12/2019 17:54

I've just found one of those threads as well and am more aghast than I was at the time, oh lord talk about scammy bugger !!

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 08/12/2019 17:57

And yet Portia anyone who reported or gently tried to warn people were given very short shrift
I don't get it
Do people not want to be warned
It becomes all Pom Pom waving and cheerleaders and anyone suggesting caution gets turned on

Itsjustmee · 08/12/2019 17:58

Velveteenfruitbowl
I sent a mumsnetter a pair of hunters wellies
It was in a thread where people were asking for recommendations on wellies
I had worn them maybe twice and then they were just gathering dust

PortiaCastis · 08/12/2019 18:01

Random chancers are everywhere, this is why I don't give a penny especially not to the idiots who send HMRC e-mails asking for my bank details or to those charmers who phone and want to fix my windows computer or chancers on here, sorry but after the debacle with the sexting etc I'm being careful

BlueEyedFloozy · 08/12/2019 18:15

Totally agree, unfortunately it seems that people are right to be sceptical nowadays. Especially when it comes to parenting websites where you can be anyone you want to be in writing without much chance of being caught out and we all know that kids are often used as a way to induce sympathy.

I remember a poster on here, around 2008/9 I think, who was nominated for Secret Santa as they had a long posting history with a pretty crappy backstory which all seemed to check out. Turns out that the baby she was struggling to afford was actually a Teddy bear.

People had sent used items and donated gifts before the poster was caught out and eventually admitted that she had mental health issues and felt that she was in too deep to back track when the offers started.

It does make you think!

sniffsneeze · 08/12/2019 18:17

My great grandad came home without socks one day. My gran asked him where they were. He'd taken them off to give them to a tramp he'd come across. They weren't rich by any means but luckily, his sister visited that afternoon with two pairs of newly knitted socks. Pure coincidence.

sniffsneeze · 08/12/2019 18:20

Sorry posted to soon. My point was that there will always be people genuinely in need and it's such a shame you get CF's taking the piss. Shame on them

astralweaks · 08/12/2019 18:25

What would you expect from the thread then? If you thought of all the options then make it clear you just want a moan, which is fine as long as it's clear.

Yes, exactly. If someone makes it clear in their OP they are just posting for moral support, then that is fine. Otherwise, well what IS the point of the thread?

TwiddleMuff · 08/12/2019 18:32

I’ve sent money three times. Two instances I know were genuine. The third time was for a poster with a child with a rare disorder and they were raising money for unfunded meds and on the bones of their arses. Then a couple of months later I saw the poster on a “how much do you pay for your gym membership” post talking about her £££ elite celebrity gym!! She should have name changed!

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 08/12/2019 18:33

A fool and their money.....

CBGBs · 08/12/2019 18:37

Years ago, a particular thread really just got to me and I felt compelled to help so i asked for the address and sent her £40 in cash. She asked for my address and sent me a nice thank you card. I didn’t tell my DH, he would’ve thought I was crazy. I don’t usually do things like that.

AllergicToAMop · 08/12/2019 18:38

There was an explosion in one tower block in a not too far country few days ago. Within hours there were people all over internet posting bank details for collections.
Lots were scams. Same with any tragedy.

People are generally hyenas and saying no to randoms is not cynical. It's realistic...

It's lovely people want to help, but do it safely. Contact your local food bank, or donate stuff to youth centre, or you can even contact Student unions or universities and donate intimate hygiene products. Local homeless charity. Etc.
There is 168k+ charities in UK. Find your local one and help through them.

ConfusedAndStressed95 · 08/12/2019 18:39

I mean I've £42 in the bank to last me this month because I paid my rent. Thankfully I have food in the house but it means I'm borrowing money from my mother so I can see my friend for his birthday. I don't have an overdraft or credit card but I also have no savings because I paid off my sisters debt when the bailiffs came out several times. I also paid my nephews rent and bought my mother a new washing machine when hers broke. It sucks and I hate living paycheck to paycheck but I can just about survive. But I may post about not having enough money or need advice but as I don't drink, gamble, smoke, go out for coffee or meals. I meal plan and shop in discount stores there is limited options other than selling family heirlooms and I can't do that. There's too much sentimental value for me to sell them unless I'm in dire need.

AllergicToAMop · 08/12/2019 18:39

Also re the intimate hygiene products. Contact local colleges too. Many have free bits in toilets with signs to help yourself if you need one

AllergicToAMop · 08/12/2019 18:41

@ConfusedAndStressed95
Firstly you need to say no to your familyShock It's so nice of you to help them, but you must think of yourself too!

CanoeDoYouThinkYouAre · 08/12/2019 19:06

This is why posters who think trolls are harmless are wrong.

Posters who could really benefit from some support and advice are too afraid to post because they don’t want people to think they’re scamming.

ChristmasCakeLover · 08/12/2019 19:28

I'm very wary of scammers. I was targeted just after giving birth by a 'frirnd'on fb. Who plead redundancy on mat leave and a nasty dh. All a pack of lies, according to her embarrassed sister. She tried it with everyone just given birth or struggling themselves for some reason. Luckily no one bit.

I also had the 'i lost my ticket and can't get home scam' at the station. They wanted 20 quid, i offered to buy them their ticket and got told to fuck off

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