To think a lot of the hard luck stories on here are people hoping to be sent money and goods?

[silverpurplegold]

It used to happen a LOT more. I was reading some old threads this morning looking for something I remembered and came across a lot of tales of woe and hardship.

Have you ever sent money or goods to anybody? Were they genuine?

I don't think the blatant threads hoping for offers aren't as easy to spot these days (or perhaps less of them).

I can recall once years ago putting in to help a regular whose life turned upside down and need help. The lovely thing with this one is a team local to her got together and went to help her at home for a weekend in a wonderfully practical way. So for all the nest of vipers stuff there's also loveliness.

I think the Secret Santa was abused by a few who began posting from the Summer their woes in the hope of being nominated. But someone always takes advantage and I reckon lots of families having a horrid time were true and received a treat.

A large part of the problem is the kind but naive posters who get a warm glow from being generous to someone in difficult circumstances and therefore don't want to ask tricky questions. That creates an endless supply of fakers, which means that genuine posters who just want a moan/some emotional support/advice stop posting.

(I agree it is much better on MN these days, though.)

Twins. It's always twins.

Years ago on here there was a poster on a thread about Christmas and how she couldn't afford to do Christmas eve for her 3 kids. She wasn't begging. She pm'd about something else.
I felt sorry for her. I sent her a box with Christmas eve boxes and filled them with little bits for Christmas.
My DH thought I was mental. She did message me when she received them and thanked me.

Ah yes hobnobs I remember that poster, special mobile number for her to co-ordinate donations for her "friend" jeez what a taker she was but folks still fell for her tales of woe.
Or the scammer who shall not be named sending sexts to those who donated to his cause

I think some of them are.

But, there are many out there in dire situations.

There have been a few times in my life I could have used some help, but I was too proud and embarrassed to ask.

I guess begging is a thing now with all the different sites available to do it.

Or the scammer who shall not be named sending sexts to those who donated to his cause
The cheerleaders on those threads were ridiculous.

I'm glad I read this before posting about the situation I'm in at the moment. I think I'll just wait until the next available CAB appointment in January 😐

The cheerleaders on those threads were ridiculous

God yes! Charity and generosity are good and should be encouraged but on MN in particular I notice that it’s often equally if not more about the person giving and THAT one was a prime example!

Sometimes it’s just the givers need for acknowledgment - Oh you sound lovely Op which I find irritating but essentially harmless.
Other times though it’s like they have some need to be the one who SAVES the unfortunate person from their situation. That’s why they simply must give directly to USER12345 rather than to an established charity...

I must admit I don’t feel huge sympathy for those who find they were ‘scammed’ in this way and re the one @ParkheadParadise mentioned, the anger that was aimed at MN for not saving these grown adults from their own gentle, sensitive hearts was just boggling!

This forum is for support, please post your problem Don'tPet and anyone else who needs help and support.
It doesn't mean you expect people on here to bail you out, just for posting.

I think most posters want to help with advice and support. So please do post.
That’s what so annoying about the scammers, is that posters are wasting effort making good suggestions.

Thanks @Drabarni, but It involves universal credit, a sick child, work AND a Christmas struggle. I think I'll leave it now 😂

@WhereverIMayRoam
On those threads, when the voice recording and pictures appeared I commented and got absolutely slaughtered by the cheerleaders.

@DontPetTheSweatyStuff as long as you don't suddenly expect twins, have 5p on a meter and live on a rock 37miles away from shore and hence nearest supermarket, you will be fine😁

Was that TR pancake? I think I wasn't aware of the whole story, just loads of threads asking for more help.

Plus I've never got over the Secret Santa on here and post about how pissed if I was at every opportunity.

Naomifrom milkshake This reminds me of a story my Nan used to tell me ,about a Guy Grandad worked with, who "had had his wages stolen"! (This was in the 50s as well)! Everyone was sorry and had a "whip round" for him .However he same thing happened about two months later!. Needless to say no whip round was forthcoming on that occasion! Sometimes people may be struggling ,and in genuine need other times they may mismanage their money and want everyone to dig them out!

Years ago when weekly wages were paid in cash a guy I worked with had his wages stolen from his locker, he said. (It was common sense not to do it.) He made a formal complaint to the bosses etc.

The rumour was that he had not done any overtime that week...…(so he only would have got his normal pay.)

I think some will be scammers, others will genuinely be in need. I especially believe many will have a hard Christmas because of universal credit. I personally would not send anything to people online but I do donate to charities and food banks.

Yes @ParkheadParadise, quite a few people did as I recall. It turned out to be a well overdue lesson that MN is not your safe space for some I think.

@AllergicToAMop no twins 😂 slightly more than 5p on my metre and a shop just down the road. Still feels a bit too risky to post about now, though. I don't think I could handle 101 questions trying to 'catch me out'

@ DontPetTheSweatyStuff universal credit is pure hell! My dear friend has disabled children and is unable to work. Her husband works full time however because his payday fell on a weekend he was paid a day early which resulted in them getting no universal credit for whole of this month. I’m truly outraged for her and have done all I can to support and research as much information I can. I could not believe what I have read this universal credit needs to be stopped. I really hope you get your issue resolved will be thinking of you Glad you have an appointment at CAB.

@Ivalueloyaltyaboveallelse Thank you. It really is horrendous. I've not had a payment since I made a claim in September so I haven't been receiving the housing element, which means no rent has been paid and I'm now at severe risk of eviction.

I work 20 hours a week on minimum wage and most weeks I average 450 miles with no mileage allowance. So my £165 weekly wage ends up being about 90.

I can't even work more hours as the time I spend travelling takes me to about 35/40 hours already. It's a mess to be honest but I can't make any drastic changes at the moment due to my son having hospital appointments etc.

I probably should have just done my own post

@DontPetTheSweatyStuff I’m truly sorry to hear this. You’ve done the right thing contacting CAB. Have you spoken to your local council? I wish I had more information and advice to give you but unfortunately I’m that well informed yet.

I can only imagine how crap UC is having recently had to apply for carers. First response (6 week aim to assess claims) was to request my last two payslips. Second response five weeks later was to send a form for completion by the study body I'm with (with a deadline when all colleges and unis close) and in the meantime no payments or decision. As you aren't allowed to study more than x hours a week and they want this confirmed by the uni.

I have spoken to the council, they've arranged for housing group to be in touch.

It's just one of those situations that is 10x harder on top of Christmas. I know it's supposed to be family time and doesn't have to cost a lot and we will make the best of a bad situation, but it doesn't stop you feeling guilty, iyswim.