To say no to this request

[Summertime2]

We have an exchange student (15yr old) staying with us for a month in January and DH has also invited his parents to stay for a weekend. We only have one spare room so this already means our 2 kids bunking in together and no extra beds. Now DBIL has asked us to have his 2 kids for the weekend as DSIL is away and he wants to go to a party and then a day out with friends on the Sunday.

I feel inclined to say sorry, no, already got a houseful including a teenager we've never met and are expected to entertain and "show London" plus juggling kids sporting commitments and entertaining the grandparents.

But should I just relax and go with the flow, another couple of kids won't make a difference?

Someone suggested dh parents minding kids in dbil house but you said they are in their 90's so could dh go aswell & them you could meet up next day.

YANBU. Bil will have to parent his kids that weekend.

"Sorry no, we've already got a houseful and that's too stressful to add more"
He doesn't get to tell you it'll be ok, he's the one avoiding looking after his own kids.

Please stop suggesting grandparents in their 90’s ditch a weekend being hosted by family to relieve a grown man of parenting his own children for two days so he can “go to a party” and have a day out with his friends the very next day. If he’d asked for one night because of his own work Christmas do, it wouldn’t be cheeky but OP would be right to say no because of her own circumstances.
However it’s December, there are loads of drinks and parties that most of have to be selective about, and wanting a day out with his friends on the Sunday too is just pathetic. Poor children. If they are teenagers they probably don’t give a shit, but when I was a child, having time with just mum, or just dad, was different to family time altogether and we enjoyed it.

It sounds like your exchange student is going to have a lovely time! It is nice for him to meet the family too, I taught foreign learners of English and common preconceptions were that the English never cooked, were very polite, and that we routinely bundled grandparents off to homes to be cared for by strangers . Most of my students weren’t from Europe though.

Not sure why this is even a question... just say no.

I do think people are more ready to “rescue” men from things they wouldn’t bat an eyelid at women doing.

In my husband’s youth on a council estate, if a women went into hospital, Mrs Next Door would trundle round with plated dinners for him until she returned. This isn’t that different.