To say no to this request

[Summertime2]

We have an exchange student (15yr old) staying with us for a month in January and DH has also invited his parents to stay for a weekend. We only have one spare room so this already means our 2 kids bunking in together and no extra beds. Now DBIL has asked us to have his 2 kids for the weekend as DSIL is away and he wants to go to a party and then a day out with friends on the Sunday.

I feel inclined to say sorry, no, already got a houseful including a teenager we've never met and are expected to entertain and "show London" plus juggling kids sporting commitments and entertaining the grandparents.

But should I just relax and go with the flow, another couple of kids won't make a difference?

But it's not just about sleeping on the floor in sleeping bags, is it? There's the additional strain on bathrooms, space around the table for food, noise and mayhem, keeping track of extra children (that aren't yours and therefore might have different behaviours), not to mention visitors stepping over bodies on the sitting room floor (if that's where they are put) in the morning until they get up.

SAY NO!!!!

Yeah I was going to say, really not okay to subject an exchange student to an overcrowded house. Not what they signed up for (or paid for).

How old are his kids?
Will you also have to take them out and about in London with you? Who will pay for that?

Say no of course. The student has to have a room for herself. I gather your inlaws are sleeping in one of the kids rooms with your kids sharing another room. That's enough. In any case you have enough to be doing entertaining the student without adding more kids to the mix. Tell your bil it's simply not possible - no apologies and no room for him to try and guilt you into it. Him wanting to go to a party is not your problem.

Definitely say No! He's taking the piss quite honestly.

Don’t be a doormat.

Do not pander to the manchild - make him look after his own kids

What a lazy fucking move - he can't hack looking after his own children for one weekend while his wife is away so he's dumping them on you

No is the answer.

Just say no. You have invited guests staying. And he can look after his own bloody kids for the weekend. Pathetic.

Just say no. It would be extremely rude of you to say yes when you already have visitors coming.

We already replied and said it would be difficult cos no beds so they'd have to sleep on the floor in sleeping bags- but that would be fine apparently

Sounds like you’ve already said yes

Is your bil for real?
Tell him no, he needs to parent his own kids ffs.

but that would be fine apparently

Of course it would be fine - for him. He's not the one having to manage it.

Nope ffs she is probably away one weekend rarely and he cant be bothered to parent his children

He has children he needs to parent and realise he cant pass them over just because he has plans.

Your poor SIL

Yep, it also sounds to me like you’ve already said yes.

Thank you for the advice! We've said sorry but no...

Sounds like you’ve already said yes

@Summertime2 you can easily say no now. Just text or tell Dh to text him and say "on reflection it's not possible to have the kids that weekend" and leave it at that - do not apologise and do not go into reasons. If he persists simply say the same thing over and over "it's not possible".

No, sorry, I'm afraid it doesn't work for us.

Well done Summertime!

Well done!

(How did he take it?)

Can't DH's parents stay at DBIL's house and look after their grandkids? Otherwise tell DBIL he'll have to arrange his weekend out another time. You already have plans.

Did you mean DH's parents, or the Exchange student's parents?

It’s not the OP’s problem to solve.

No, it isn't fair on the exchange student.

I'd say no just because he's being such a shit parent. He has to have his children for a weekend and he wants to palm them off so he can have fun! I bet his wife won't be impressed either. I have nice big comfortable judgy pants on today and I don't care.