Given the updates, I retract my earlier statement about not seeing red flags. There are many red flags here.
How does a Madonna / whore complex work out in a relationship ultimately ?
(Apologies for liberal use of the word whore below. I'm talking about the archetypes within the complex, not about actual people)
Badly, for the woman.
You will find that he dictates what you wear, how you have your hair, what make up you put on. If you go against his diktats, he'll punish you (because that would be a "whorish" thing to do, and in his head, "whores" deserve to be punished).
Certain activities, places and people will be deemed inappropriate. This could be a bar, a theatre on a Friday night, an outgoing female friend, any other males. As things escalate, it will become "anywhere or anyone unless he is present". You may find that your own family are not considered good enough, and he will not understand/allow you to spend time with anyone apart from his female relatives. Expect to be compared unfavourably to them.
You may find that certain career choices are deemed whorish. Being a nursery assistant might be ok, as long as you don't talk to the dads. But you're more likely to find that Madonnas are expected to be SAHM. And only have access to money he gives you. And have to account to him for what you've spent it on. You "won't need" any savings, pension or property of your own, of course. Madonnas don't need money. Only whores are motivated by money.
Sex? Well, it might not happen. As you've already found out, it'll be in the dark, in one position only (was it from behind, by any chance? so he doesn't have to look at you). If you show enjoyment, that's likely to be a turn off for him, because in his head, only whores enjoy sex. And if you're a whore, he can't like you, because that's beneath him.
Someone with a Madonna/whore complex divides women into two groups.
The Madonnas are glorious, beautiful, untouchable, totally asexual. They have no existence outside the domestic sphere. Named after the Virgin Mary, they are an idealised mother figure, they don't have careers or opinions or sex.
Whores are sexual and filthy. They are the equivalent of cheap plastic toys, to be thrown away. Men with Madonna/whore complexes find the whores sexy, but are disgusted with themselves for lowering themselves to the whores' level, and they hate the whore in question for having tempted them into sex (which they think is fundamentally dirty, in a bad way).
OP, if this bloke is charming and funny and seems so great and yet has reached the age of 35 with no other woman having had a relationship with him, then you need to wonder why that might be. There could be many reasons, but if he's got a Madonna/whore complex that will be why.
The complex separates all women into one category or the other. There is no middle ground. As no one can ever live up to the Madonna fantasy (and why would you want to?), sooner or later he'll see you as a whore. And he'll hate you for it.
Do ask him about his exes. Send me a fiver if he uses the word slag/slut/slapper/bitch.