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AIBU?

To regret doing this? What should I do?

175 replies

uahlyaday7 · 07/12/2019 11:08

I've namechanged as I don't want to be outed.

Last night I went out for a drink with my friend. He's gay but he has a daughter from when he was denying that he was gay.

He had a pint and then he started flirting with me. Saying I was sexy etc.

He asked me if I would want to go to his place to watch a film because he didn't want to get drunk. I said yes and he carried on flirting with me. I don't know why but I kissed him and then we ended up sleeping together

I really regret this. And don't know what to do.

I'm going to see him later as im going to my works Christmas party and he said he would come with me if I wanted to go because I didn't want to go alone (im the only single person at work and they are going to bring their partners).

OP posts:

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slipperywhensparticus · 07/12/2019 13:43

He has read and not responded?.....I wouldn't go tonight

Jumpi · 07/12/2019 13:46

Good lord. In the space of a few hours he’s gone from her gay friend to definitely bi rapist and now has HIV.

What a drama.

BeatriceTheBeast · 07/12/2019 13:47

Eh? What is snogging if not sexual? confused. Acting? Done for show to entertain onlookers? Attention-seeking?

Yeah pretty much! I was in my early twenties and it seemed HILARIOUS at the time.

uahlyaday7 · 07/12/2019 13:48

I might not go or ill go but without him and tell him I'm not going. He's online on WhatsApp and seen the message but hasn't responded.

OP posts:

CurlyhairedAssassin · 07/12/2019 13:49

How long have you known him?

MinervaSaidThat · 07/12/2019 13:50

Hmm maybe he’s bi and told you he was gay to lower your inhibitions?

If he told you he was gay then he has mislead you or lied to you. That is not a friend.

uahlyaday7 · 07/12/2019 13:50

I've known him since we were children but we only became friends when I got with my ex as they are best friends.

OP posts:

DowntownAbby · 07/12/2019 13:56

Good lord. In the space of a few hours he’s gone from her gay friend to definitely bi rapist and now has HIV.

What a drama.

@Jumpi Are you new here?

SickNotes · 07/12/2019 14:00

This would be an entirely straightforward situation of two friends having an enjoyable one-off sexual encounter, apart from the fact that you seem very invested in him, and as though you have feelings for him. I also think he emerges rather badly from what you've said, and that you (and the mother of his child) seem to have been involved to your own detriment in his occasional heterosexual moments. In your shoes I would limit my future involvement with him, or you're likely to end up hurt. Or pregnant by someone who appears to think women are there on tap to let him work out his sexual leanings.

Onesnowballshort · 07/12/2019 14:03

Why on earth would you need to pretend you're not going to your own christmas party? Woman up a bit. Doesn't sound like he's going to text but if he does, you can just say "I think it's best I go alone tonight, we can talk later". I think the kind of moving on or up you need to do can't be done while on a night out.

TheTeethingPoo · 07/12/2019 14:05

One last thing, OP, are you a fan of the film ‘over her dead body’?

uahlyaday7 · 07/12/2019 14:13

I was going to pretend not to go because I think if I said I'm going alone then he would think I'm bothered. I'm not I just regret it.

I've never watched that film

OP posts:

Justaboy · 07/12/2019 14:14

Not everyone is a 100% straight or gay, there are some on a sliding scale!.

Seems he migh be one of them !

If you enjoyed yourself then do it again!!

uahlyaday7 · 07/12/2019 14:20

I did enjoy it but I now regret it. I want to talk to him about it but he doesn't as he ignored me.

OP posts:

MinervaSaidThat · 07/12/2019 14:21

@Justaboy

Are you lucid? She says she regrets it.

Tistheseason17 · 07/12/2019 14:34

He had sex with you and then turfed you out?
Sorry, he ain't no boyfriend material or friend - you were a booty call.
Dump him as both.

Eggies · 07/12/2019 14:40

First he's not gay he's confused, second I hope you used protection.

Aridane · 07/12/2019 14:43

I don't know if hes bisexual

I think his actions evidence he is

MereDintofPandiculation · 07/12/2019 14:45

I want to talk to him about it but he doesn't as he ignored me. Not at all. Far more likely he's confused, doesn't want to make a wrong step, and is having a good think about what to reply.

FizzyGreenWater · 07/12/2019 14:46

He's always been protective of me when I got a boyfriend

Always the sign of a bit of a twat, I find.

MinervaSaidThat · 07/12/2019 14:47

Yep ‘protective’ means controlling i suspect.

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/12/2019 14:53

MereDinto
You may be right that he is thinking. However it was very cruel to throw op out after having had sex with her...

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uahlyaday7 · 07/12/2019 15:10

He's replied saying he doesn't know. I asked him if he's bisexual and he said no.

OP posts:

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 07/12/2019 15:16

Regrets are neither use nor orniment.
You can’t go back and change it can you.
It is what it is. You had sex with your friend it’s hardly the end of the world.
No one died, did they.
It’s clear it’s obviously bi sexual than gay.

MrsWhites · 07/12/2019 15:22

Forget about whether he’s gay or not, the fact that he told you to go after sex and then ignored your messages says he’s not a good friend! Who treats a friend like that!

I wouldn’t go to the Christmas do with him either, just tell him you would rather go alone. If he goes with you it might happen again, if you’ve had feelings for him in the past you are just going to end up confusing yourself and likely end up being treated very badly by him!

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