The 3 biggest mistakes you made

[Sunnydays999]

Just wondering as was thinking what I considered a mistake ( getting sacked ) ended up being for the best as I got therapy and a more suitable job.
What others saw as my mistake ( pregnant and married young ) ended up being the right path

My 3 are biggest life mistakes are

1. living beyond means and the impact it has now
2. not getting away from toxic people soon enough
3. feeling I have to prove myself and fit in

1 getting married...never again!
2 not putting more money aside this year/not reigning in spending sooner
3 all the years I thought I was fat, now I wish I was as “fat” as I thought I was then

Since my mid teens, my life feels like one huge disaster. If I could whittle it all down to three definitive moments/realisations that shaped all those other poor choices, I would choose the following:

1. Not standing up to my parents more often and insisting they see me as a person in my own right

2. Getting married to the wrong man

3. Always wearing my heart on my sleeve

1. Rushing into going to uni immediately after school because I was desperate to escape my home life. I didn’t pick something that was suitable for me and obviously didn’t finish it as a result;
2. Not seeking support for my mental health properly until I had already made a series of bad mistakes. I was so desperate by the time I did ask for help that I ended up on anti depressants which cause long term sexual dysfunction; and
3. Not pursuing something more academic when I did return to education. I don’t have a massive amount of control over my job and I find it very frustrating.

On the plus side though I have a happy home and good relationship, which I would more than regret not having if I had pursued anything else to their detriment.

@GinNotGym19 - ah yes, 3 certainly resonates! I wish I had the figure I had when I first thought I was fat 😀

1. not seeking counselling after being sexually assaulted and allowing it to dictate years of my life
2. not doing my MA after my BA (see above 🙄)
3. being too generous with my time and giving far too many exes far too many chances.

However, as much as those things annoy/niggle me, I am happy with where my life is now. Home owner, mum of one (with another on the way) and an amazing partner to share it all with by 24. We definitely helped each other to get out of the pit we were both in. I still have a long way to go career wise, but at least I'm on a good road. It could have very easily gone the wrong way for me.

1. Believing the moron doctor at the hospital who said I wasn’t in labour. Partly due to his total lack of interest and misdiagnosis, DS1 was born at 24 weeks.
2. Trusting my bully at university that I was a truly bad person.
3. Not making up properly with my dad before he succumbed to severe dementia.

This all looks terriby depressing but I am lucky to have a mainly lovely life. DS1 has complex disabilities due to his extreme prematurity but he and DS2 are both happy, wonderful children.

Please don’t make trite comments like that. It would be a extremely unlikely that no one reacts to them even if the vast majority are fine. You could equally say hermaphrodites or people allergic to water don’t exists because it’s so unlikely but they do.

Hermaphrodites don't exist. There has never been a verified instance of someone who has both sets of functioning genitalia. People with disorders of sexual development, of various types, do exist, though.

For me,
First marriage.
Spending my 20's getting wrecked instead of doing anything productive.
Staying stupid for far too long.

Only 3? I’m going to have to give this some more thought.

1. Not being more ambitious when I was younger. I damaged my career opportunities as a result.

Still trying to figure out what 2 & 3 are, there are a lot of options.

1. Making excuses for other people when they were unkind to me and putting up with some awful behaviour
2. Not realising that the amount of time spent in a relationship is not a reason to stay. Sometimes you should leave just because you want to (see point one)
3. Not saving more when I was earning well.

1.my husband
2.not taking more risks
3.Not joint a gym earlier...its done wonders for my mental health and confidence

"Hard to narrow it down to 3 😕"

Lol. Same here.

Getting married, becoming really overweight, and thinking I would be a good mum so I should have children.

1. Not going on a gap year when I was younger
2. Not listening to my mum when she said I would be good at working in healthcare. Thirty years of working in an office and I really want to be a paramedic.
3. Going out with a love bombing narcissistic married man when I was in my twenties and had just lost my mum. That one had ramifications that spread into my family breakdown, my career choices, my self esteem and the fact that I'm childless and still single at 47.

I try not to have focus on mistakes as such, but I defo should have kicked my cheating XH to the kerb far earlier than I did. Ultimately I wasted over 20 years on someone who did not deserve me. I would likely not have had the MH issues I have suffered, and I defo would have more money! It’s all good now though, so you live and learn!

1. deciding my life wasn't complete without children
2. getting pregnant
3. not having an ELCS

Falling for the wrong person and as a result im now pregnant and he has skipped off back to his dp (told me they had been finished for a long time... obviously not)

I can't regret anything that happened before conceiving DCs because like in the film 'about time' if I went back and changed anything I wouldn't have my kids and if I did have kids they wouldn't be the same kids.

Letting my ex take financial control. I could have had £40k in savings by now and a great credit history.

Not trying for a baby sooner

Choosing yellow gold for my engagement and wedding rings - I don't know what I was thinking about, I always go for silver jewellery so really wish I'd gone for white gold as I much prefer it.

Wasting 5 years in the wrong job in my 20s. Eventually I had to quit and start a different career from the bottom.
Not investing in property 20+ years ago. Had I done so, I would be very comfortably retired by now.
Allowing myself to become overweight and unhealthy, and making excuses for not sorting myself out earlier.

Not completing my day release course and leaving the industry I started in

Going on a course which wasn't industry accredited and wasting two years, the last chance of student grants and getting into student loan debt for a course in an almost obsolete medium

Buying my house

Squandering a vast portion of my inheritance on refurbishing my house and hiring a builder who's gone bust

Taking certain job offers - between the work and a gaslighting narcissist boss, they broke me.

Taking the job I've currently got 😢

There are clearly more than three.

There are many, many more.