The 3 biggest mistakes you made

[Sunnydays999]

Just wondering as was thinking what I considered a mistake ( getting sacked ) ended up being for the best as I got therapy and a more suitable job.
What others saw as my mistake ( pregnant and married young ) ended up being the right path

My 3 are biggest life mistakes are

1. living beyond means and the impact it has now
2. not getting away from toxic people soon enough
3. feeling I have to prove myself and fit in

Please don’t make trite comments like that. It would be a extremely unlikely that no one reacts to them even if the vast majority are fine. You could equally say hermaphrodites or people allergic to water don’t exists because it’s so unlikely but they do.

We are not talking about a 'reaction' or an allergy though, the post was about vaccinations causing SEN. Not the same as a bad reaction, which obviously does happen.

Not taking better care of my skin
Sharing my savings with DH
Not buying a couple grand worth of bitcoin when it was first invented/similar speculative opportunities that would have made me a billionaire had I had prior knowledge.

Tomorrow is history, today is a present, tomorrow is a surprise. I regret not repeating that to myself often enough.

@Borderterrierpuppy not disputing that, but to say the vaccinations caused all 3 of her children to have SEN and that she caused it, isn't right at all

Obvs yesterday is history. Goodness me.

Leaving my lovely uni boyfriend for a guy who was an utter dickhead and was still openly seeing his ex at the time! Just one of the many times I exercised shitty judgement over men, which pretty much dictated the course of my twenties.

Not getting my severe post natal depression treated or confiding in a doctor when dd was a baby. Dd is 5 and it still has its effects today.

Not taking better care of my teeth. My dm was kind of neglectful in this respect when I was a kid and I didn’t really brush twice a day until I was into my twenties, and have had to have fillings/a few teeth out since my late teens. I also didn’t floss until I was in my late twenties. I found out recently that the enamel in my teeth is really week and I’m already getting sensitivity and the beginnings of gum disease, and I suspect my teeth will always be an issue for the rest of my life. The message being: look after your teeth and those of your dcs!!

Dropping out of Uni
Letting MIL and my mother undermine me
Not realising dd was sufferimg due to a neuro developmental disability until it was diagnosed at 17. But neither did any teacher or CAMHS.

1-To have put my own needs first and not taken on so much responsibility for my family at an very early age.
2-Tried to have made more of an effort to keep my friends but due to raising children within my family, I just never had time. Also any other time was focused my business and building that up.
3-Never having any relationships, again there was never anytime.

Truthfully though given the choice again, I would probably make the same decisions again-as the children involved needed me.

1. Not moving away from home to go to uni, instead I went to the nearest.
2. Getting married
3. I never took any risks, was always the solid, reliable, loyal one who planned everything. I wish I'd lived a little on the wild side before locking into being a mum.

Getting married too young - 22
Not going to UNI when I could have done.
Not following my heart on one occasion

1. Being a 40 year old overweight smoker. Bad choices....need to sort.
2. still buying new house despite ex-h practically telegraphing that he was having an affair. I'd have practically paid the mortgage off on my flat by now & it was all in my name
3. very vacuous in comparison with so many here but not going to Lothar Matteus's testimonial & missing the chance to see Maradona play in person. I couldn't be bothered to get the train after work on Fri night & went to the pub AGAIN (like x times a week) instead.

1 Getting married
2 Not separating sooner, the rest I can live with.

I haven't got 3, but one of my mistakes when younger was thinking that my parents knew best, especially my mother. I have a good relationship with them, but my god, they have talked some bollocks.

1. Going along with sexual bullies who spread nasty rumours about me for years when I was about 11yrs.

1. Not finishing school (did go back as an adult for many years).

1. Living out with my means and having huge debts -although went bankrupt which was the best thing I ever did, 3yrs on, all clear and free :)

1. Not going to x uni instead of y uni- not just that I would have liked the course more but it shaped everything since- relationships/ where I live/ friends/ jobs

2. not leaving ex after the first time he hit me

3. not leaving dp when I knew he just wasn’t that into me and thinking I was running out of time to have a dc when I was only in my 20s

4. giving up a professional training course I was on just because I was offered a decent job

1. Not taking up a university place because I wanted to stay at home with my boyfriend.
2. Letting the love of my life go without a fight (different bf!)
3. Not being nicer to my father and always taking my mother's side.

1. not accepting a place to do midwifery at uni, chose something else but i regret that now
2. having sex with X and Y. I wish I'd waited until I met my husband. In fairness if it wasnt those dickheads it would have been someone else as I didn't mean my husband until 19
3. stopping the gym, I just cant get going again, it's been 4 years

Not going to see my mum in her care home on 16/1/19. She died the following day. I had been the previous day but wish I'd seen her one more time.

Don't be too upset about that. I sat with my mother all day, went to the loo late afternoon and she died when I was there, I was so upset but the Hospice staff said it was quite a common occurence, as though people wanted to die in private.

Pretty much the entirety of the last decade, impossible to narrow it down to 3

Lots of mistakes but i don't regret them as they have honestly been character building and changed my outlook in lots of things.
But i do regret not buying a house when DH and i lived down south in our early 20s. We rented, cheaply, for 3 years and in the lovely area we lived house prices increased by 40 %. We could have returned back north in a much better financial position. I do love the house we're now settled in but there have been compromises due to not getting in the ladder sooner!

Dyeing my beautiful red hair black as a teenager for years (mum was right it did look horrible and ruin it).
Moving in with dd s dad in the 90s and having to pay off his debts for years after he left.
Not going to uni as a carefree teen but as a 20 something mum so i didnt have the whole mad party bit.

1 st marriage
Getting into debt when I was young and stupid
Having anything to do with my mother as an adult.

Rebound man.
Didn't phone an ambulance.
Got back with rebound man.

1. Not having more faith in myself when young. I'd have understood myself better and would have had the guts to to explore the world a bit more and might have apprenticed myself to a cabinetmaker rather than getting a tedious desk job
2. Should have waited a few more years to have DC and used the time to develop a career
3. Should have understood my craving for empty spaces and emigrated to New Zealand.

There are others...

1. not going to counselling when I was 13 instead of 15 - and kept going.
2. was a nicer, calmer person.
3. not taking the amazing opportunity which was literally handed to me, which would have lead me to where I now want to be back then.

But

If the above did not happen, I wouldn’t have the amazing life I have now. Though, the regrets do sometimes still keep me up at night.