AIBU?
Dh working boxing day
Mumma12345 · 06/12/2019 20:15
Nc just incase
A bit of a back story
Dh has the option to work boxing day at the rate of £15 an hour, he's normally on £11 so it's not much more then usual, plus time he pays for taxis (we don't drive and it's not walking distance and no buses that day) which are fare and half, he wouldn't be much better off
The shift is 11 till 4/5 depending on how busy they are (he works in a cafe), he is the only cook who has agreed to work (other 2 want the day off) So if he doesn't work they won't open which means the other members of staff who are getting £15 an hour won't get it (they are normally on £9 odd an hour).
He agreed to work it with out even asking me if I thought it would be OK, I have the week off work so we don't have to worry about childcare and for the 1st time in years I actually thought we could have a nice chilled Xmas day and visit family on boxing day as Thursday is his normal day off so I assumed he would be off. He only informed me yesterday that he is working now
He is saying I am being unreasonable with him in asking him not to work it as we need the extra money but can't see that time he forks out for taxis (unless he could get a lift somehow) payed tax on the extra pay we wouldn't be any better off plus it would mean the other members of staff not getting the extra shift and money. He's literally just sent me a really snotty text saying I'm making him the bad guy at work
Aibu in wanting him to have the day off
Jasonh · 06/12/2019 20:27
Hi, rough on calculations it sounds like after tax and taxis he’d be taking home about 65/70 quid. Not much compensation for missing part of Christmas with family.
But from a mans point of view - if you need the money he thinks you o appreciate his sacrifice.
I’d say he is doing something but not fully considering the loss/compensation. But Don’t be harsh on him tho he is doing it for the right reasons.
Hopefully he can get out of it
Mumma12345 · 06/12/2019 20:32
They won't pay for taxis as every bank Holiday we have the same transport issue and I normally just suck up the extra cost as its his normal work day but he has every Thursday off, has for years and years
Boxing day and new years are opt in, if they get enough staff they open of they don't they stay shut.
Normally he asks me what I think and we decide together depending on what childcare we can get if I'm already working but he's assumed as I'm off it didn't matter, think that's pissed me off more then anything
CoffeeRunner · 06/12/2019 20:37
Be happy he’s got Christmas Day off! Plenty of chefs won’t.
Working Boxing Day seems completely reasonable. And of course his employer won’t cover his travel expenses! He applied for & took the job knowing that some sort of Bank Holiday working was involved. It’s not their fault he doesn’t drive!
Nicole12325 · 06/12/2019 20:42
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SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 06/12/2019 20:51
@Mumma12345 - I hear what you are saying about them not paying for taxis on Bank Holidays - but this time, your dh has some leverage - if he doesn’t work, they can’t open - so he needs to say he won’t work unless they pay for taxis.
I do also understand why you are cross that he didn’t discuss it with you before agreeing - it used to piss me off when dh made decisions that impacted the whole family without any consultation. He still does it although it has got better over the years - and the impact is less now the dses are grown up and don’t live here any more.
I think you have every right to tell him that decisions that have an impact on the family need to be discussed, in the future, and hopefully this will improve.
BoomBoomsCousin · 06/12/2019 20:59
YABabitU.
If you have this discussion most years and the answer is always predicated on whether you have childcare options or not I think you're being a bit harsh to suddenly be more concerned about having family time. I can see why it's disappointing but I can also see why your DH would think he was just following your family priorities and be a bit put out that you're now having a go at him for that.
MistyCloud · 06/12/2019 21:02
@Mumma12345
It seems to me (although I am a bit of a negative person sometimes,) that he is doing it to avoid spending time with other family on Boxing Day. Happy to be with you and your DC but probably doesn't want to do he extended family bolleaux on Boxing Day.
It is hospitality though, so it's not that surprising...... Although if he CHOSE it, that does further confirm (to me) that he wanted to do it, and wanted to avoid extended family on Boxing Day.
YANBU to be pissed off though. Most people (in your situation) would be I reckon.
ForalltheSaints · 06/12/2019 21:13
I think you should have at least been consulted a lot earlier. Not good planning on any business to have not made all such arrangements a few weeks ago.
I'd personally like to see all large shops closed on Boxing Day, at least for one year, to give those who have probably been working harder than usual in the last couple of weeks before Christmas a longer break. Probably then the cafe would not open.
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