Dh working boxing day

[Mumma12345]

Nc just incase
A bit of a back story
Dh has the option to work boxing day at the rate of £15 an hour, he's normally on £11 so it's not much more then usual, plus time he pays for taxis (we don't drive and it's not walking distance and no buses that day) which are fare and half, he wouldn't be much better off
The shift is 11 till 4/5 depending on how busy they are (he works in a cafe), he is the only cook who has agreed to work (other 2 want the day off) So if he doesn't work they won't open which means the other members of staff who are getting £15 an hour won't get it (they are normally on £9 odd an hour).
He agreed to work it with out even asking me if I thought it would be OK, I have the week off work so we don't have to worry about childcare and for the 1st time in years I actually thought we could have a nice chilled Xmas day and visit family on boxing day as Thursday is his normal day off so I assumed he would be off. He only informed me yesterday that he is working now
He is saying I am being unreasonable with him in asking him not to work it as we need the extra money but can't see that time he forks out for taxis (unless he could get a lift somehow) payed tax on the extra pay we wouldn't be any better off plus it would mean the other members of staff not getting the extra shift and money. He's literally just sent me a really snotty text saying I'm making him the bad guy at work
Aibu in wanting him to have the day off

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

As I said - if he is the only cook who is willing to do Boxing Day, he is in an excellent position to negotiate higher pay and/or travel costs.

[MaudebeGonne]

if He didn’t work, then the cafe couldn’t open and no one would get paid. Maybe he knows one of his colleagues will struggle without that days wages. It is only a few hours, so I wouldn’t get too het up. At least you have Christmas Day, and you and the kids can go visiting whilst he is at work.

I am working 8 hours on Christmas Day and a 12 hour shift on Boxing Day so you have loads of family time compared to me.

[rattusrattus20]

YABNU in idly wishing he wasn't working but YABU if you were to kick a fuss up about it, it's his line of work, what puts food on the table etc.

[emilybrontescorsett]

I think he should have discussed it with you first especially as he is usually off on Thursdays.

[Baboomtsk]

I can see why you're or annoyed at him for not discussing it with you. However, he's now made the decision, I wouldn't try and push him into not working on that day as he obviously feels he'll be letting his colleagues having already committed. It will also mean another day's pay for the family.

I'd let it go and make the most out of the days that you will be together rather than arguing or being resentful about it.

[Dontdisturbmenow]

A cafe close to a football ground, a cafe in a touristy place?

[Dontdisturbmenow]

YABU. He wants to work to earn more money for the family (and indeed, he might very well be able to arrange a lift) and he is supporting other members of staff who might very well need the money too.

You will be spending time together, just not this day. It's not the end of the world and you won't be the only wife/husband who will not spend the day with their partner, just like many won't be doing so on Xmas day either.

[Kanga83]

My husband is working Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day. It's just one of those things, so yes I think yabu.

[Ginfordinner]

We have no trains or buses on Christmas day or Boxing day. I had to take DD to work last year, then go and collect her.

I can't see any independent cafes opening on Boxing day here either. It wouldn't be worth it.

[MissCharleyP]

I’m dying to know where there is a cafe that’s open on Boxing Day. All the independent ones round here will be closed, most probably until the Saturday at least. Buses round here also non existent Christmas Day (my dad remembers a time when they ran) or Boxing Day. No trains either for those 2 days. If previous years are anything to go by then buses run to a slightly altered timetable for the whole festive period, rarely catch one so couldn’t say for sure.

I’m lucky in that this year my rostered long weekend starts on the 27th so I get 6 days off without using any leave, otherwise I’d be back in then.

Agree with pp though, he should ask for the same % increase as the other staff and/or boss to pay for a taxi.

[CentralPerkMug]

None in my area, and its Sunday service on the 27th and 28th too which I think is really cheeky

Wow yes I agree with you! We have a holiday timetable right through with a reduced service but its only stopping xmas day. It still is a fairly good service, more like the typical Saturday service rather than Sunday. I do think it should be stopped boxing day though, like yours is, unless there's drivers particularly wanting to work!

[Butterflycookie]

You should’ve discussed with him that you wanted to visit family on Boxing Day. Also as everyone else is saying, at least he gets Xmas off. I am working on Boxing Day this year as I did last year. I’ve also worked Xmas eve and Xmas day.

[hawaiianturtle]

Lots of people have to work all the way through Christmas unfortunately. I'm working 8 hours on Xmas eve. A lot of my friends are working Xmas day too. I have 3 kids so it sucks but that's retail for you.

[MzPumpkinPie]

My H is a police officer.
I've only spent one full Christmas Day and Boxing Day with him in 14 years.
They draw straws on his block !
This year he's off and cooking because I have been very unwell and he's cooking.
At least your H is home on Christmas Day

[maddening]

The owner of the cafe could give him lifts If they are not prepared to pay a sufficiently enhanced wage for bank holiday work Imo especially as there is no public transport.

[Butterymuffin]

If other staff want to work Boxing Day for the money, can't one of them pick him up if they drive, or share a taxi if they don't? Then everyone saves. Plus they can't work without him.

[snowybaubles]

He hasn't done anything you haven't tbh

He has agreed to work without talking to you

You thought you would visit family without talking to him.

Communication is lacking between you. So that's something to work on in future.


I am a bit baffled by your logic that he won't be any better off by the time he pays for taxi's because he absolutely will be. Even if he only earns his usual hourly rate after taxis are paid, he is getting paid. If he took the day off surely he would have no pay?

[grisen]

Just because it’s a opt in doesn’t mean it’s an opt in, he might be pressured into working by management and the other staff who want/need the hours.

[BlouseAndSkirt]

None of the other staff that he could get a lift with it share a taxi with?

[Ginfordinner]

Just how busy will this cafe be on Boxing Day? Is it in a shopping centre? If it isn't is it even worth opening?

[dontcallmeduck]

YABU. I don’t consult DH about my working pattern over Christmas, I look at what needs covering at work and what I want off and compromise thinking of the family and work. You can’t make him cancel and let down his colleagues and company. Boxing days always a bit of a downer anyway after a certain time.

[SheOfManyNames]

Given that he normally works boxing day, he probably didn't see the problem? Are you sure there's no buses? Public transport is crap in my area but there's still some running on boxing day.
None in my area, and its Sunday service on the 27th and 28th too which I think is really cheeky.

[Pateontheback]

The people on 9 ph on time 2/3 and your dh on time 1/3 that was meant to say

[Pateontheback]

Can he try to negotiate a higher rate ? It seems the people on time and 2/3 and he’s only on approx time and 1/3

[funnylittlefloozie]

My DP is a prison officer. He is working Christmas Day, but managed to get Boxing Day off. I think your DH should at least ask if they would pay for his taxi.