Christmas day dog dilemma

[Bingcankissmyass]

More of a WWYD...Every year we go to Pils on Christmas day(me, DH, DS16, DD14 and DD3) Sil and DH also come. Yesterday Mil told me Sil had said her dog (bull terrier puppy, but bigger than my DD3) had to come on Christmas day too, and that it would behave as her DH would be there. It wouldnt normally bother me, but her last dog (same breed) snapped at my throat (drew blood) when I was stroking it (still a puppy, but HUGE) which makes me uneasy around her new dog. Not only that, but our DD3 is constantly wanting to stroke/play with/pick up/chase/kiss etc. our cat (and any and every dog she sees.) DH said we'd spend christmas day at home as he doesn't want the DC round the dog, and doesnt want to spend the day constantly telling DD3 to leave the dog alone/hear her being screamed at (by mil) to stop going near the dog. It's bad enough trying to stop her at home with our cat, never mind a dog bigger than her that can snap at her when its had enough! I've told DH he can be the one to tell his DM that we wont be there Christmas day, but that we'll go boxing day, and hes fine with that. The problem is that his DM will see her arse BIGTIME, she'll throw a strop, more than likely not speak to us for a few weeks (years ago she burst into tears when we said we didnt want to go shopping with her, then stopped speaking to us for two weeks.) Don't get me wrong we have a great relationship with her and Sil, but I just don't want Christmas day to be ruined by everyone screaming and shouting at DD3 or the possibility someone will get snapped at by the dog. I'm normally fine around dogs, but this one has me on edge 😖 WWYD? Would you go and ask for the dog to be kept in its cage (as it does mostly in its home, but then it might as well be at home) go but keep DD3 with me at ALL times, or stay at home and visit boxing day?

I have had bull terriers my whole life, and I have no idea what your SIL is doing to train them so badly they would "snap at your throat and draw blood". Or what you were doing to be honest to have the dog that excited and yet near to your throat. They usually love children too and are very careful around them, usually following them around slowly like a shadow 😂 but they don't need a firm hand and proper training. If you're worried about it, don't go!

My sister did this one Christmas and hoe stay it was so stressful for us. We have 2 dogs that my dc have grown up with and they are very comfortable around all animals. Sis has a small, yappy, dog that doesn’t like children and snaps at them. She insisted on bringing the dog as she didn’t want her alone on Xmas day. She refused to put her in a separate room and the dog spent the whole time lunging for dc (they were all toddlers then). Dc weren’t even trying to touch her, she just kept going for them. All we heard all day was my sister shouting at the dog to leave the kids alone. Ruined the whole day for us

If your DD can’t behave round animals and the dog isn’t used to small children and they’re not likely to be responsible enough to separate them... then it’s kind of a no brainer really.

Though I’m slightly confused as to whether they have a massively oversized puppy or you have a very small 3 yr old tbh...

@lettersbyowl please reassure me he will eventually grow out of the friendly wiggle and bounce.

Mine is 13 months old and still wants to wiggle and melt on every one's feet

Or pose... aka stare at ducks

Friend has a Chihuahua. It hates the children especially small ones, even snaps at her husband. Some dogs just do not like outsiders.

I meant in my previous post that they DO need a firm hand!!

@CuriousaboutSamphire oh GORGEOUS 😍 yes they definitely mature... but he will forever be happy to see people!!! They never grow out of posing though They can be so well mannered with the right handling, ours honestly spend their time on a farm in with chickens, sheep and horses and never hurt a fly. Ditto with babies, toddlers and children (although would never leave unattended of course!)

@BlueRavens23 - She is gorgeous!

Great plan.
I would never put a dog before family but if thats the case stay away, don't take any nonsense and have a safe enjoyable christmas.

@CuriousaboutSamphire your boy is gorgeous ❤️

If you don’t go you get a relatively stress free Christmas and no ones having a go at you for it because they’re not speaking to you? Win win. I have to screen my calls to get that sort of peace from my mother.

It's unfair to say the SIL shows no regard for training. It's not that uncommon for dogs to lash out when they're ill enough to be put to sleep.

I think you should stay home and enjoy your day. It isn't for anybody to place demands on the MIL about who should or shouldn't be present in her home. And nothing in this world would make me leave my dog home alone all day to appease somebody.

I take my dog to my mums every fortnight when we all meet for lunch, my mum isn't local and when we decided to get a puppy we never had any intention of taking her with us and had arranged care as well as a back up before getting a dog and knew there'd be times we'd have to not go.

My adults siblings and mum wanted me to bring the dog and said on condition the children and her dog aren't worried or upset by it then she doesn't mind us bringing the dog every visit. I don't take her at Xmas though as it's an overnight stay and a lot more people and the dog gets excited as do the kids. My nieces and nephews are all older and have been taught how to behave around dogs but even knowing that, if one single person objected I'd stop immediately.

My sister had a bay when my dog was about a year old and I'd offered to stop taking her them and my sister didn't want me to because she doesn't leave her children around her own dogs unattended and she knows mine is bu my side all the time and doesn't go near the kids unless. Myself or my husband is there. I've been phobic of dogs all my life and I don't want to ever make anyone feel how some dog owners did with me by insisting their dog is friendly and allowed to jump up at you and "you have to face your fears" as an excuse for them not training their dog properly. They are all the same words said to me before I was attacked by a Rottweiler in my teens and if someone is shaking with fear, not getting your dog off them is a shit thing to do so I think I'm extra wary of doing the same.

My dog is friendly, she's never shown any aggression but I don't allow her to run and jump at anyone. Family or otherwise. If I was the dog owner in this scenario I'd either try to get care for the puppy or is not go myself. I wouldn't sulk it's be a cunt for being wary. If I was you in this scenario and you know the dog won't be managed, I'd stay at home with my kids too.

My dog is my world but she's a goof at times too and I'm well aware what I find cute others don't, so unless asked or told it's ok I don't expect others to put up with my dog either.

Your SIL should be the one not going tbh!

But anyway, let them strop away and ignore.

Enjoy your Christmas.

Sounds like going Boxing Day is a good plan. Let DH tell MIL. If she strops let her. You are reasonably offering an alternative. If she doesn’t want to cook twice, could they come to you?