To ask if you’ve gone no contact with siblings

[busyweeks78]

Do you regret it? How do you deal with still having a relationship with your parents when not talking to them? Do you plan to ever talk to them in the future?

I’m LC with my 3 DB. I spent years when I was a child and teenager trying to keep the family together, being the peace maker, it’s wasn’t healthy for me as I always ended up hurt. My narcissistic DM always played us off
each other, still to this day! Im LC with her too, they’ve brought me nothing but pain, anger and sleepless nights. Therapy has helped me recover, but I’m still working through stuff.
I’m happier being LC, even though I don’t have any family support, it’s better for me.
Ignorance is bliss, the less I know the better.

NC with two brothers. I wont go into details but it was boys club with an anti woman motto and if I disagreed I was squared up to.

Having your own flesh and blood tower over you with the intent of scaring you is hard to process I found.

That's a polite way of saying they made me feel crazy and overwhelmingly anxious

I regret I had to do it. DM accepts I had to do it. I would like us to have contact in the future because I love them but...I don't like being crazy and overwhelmingly anxious.

I’m NC with my brother. He’s a verbal and physically violent bully with an unbelievable sense of entitlement who is very resentful of anyone having more than him.

Although I felt guilty I had to cut contact to protect my own mental health. We are only 18 months apart and I think that was part of the issue. He saw me as his greatest rival. He used to lie about me to get me in trouble when we were small and it escalated from there. My parents tried to play it down as sibling rivalry when we were young but have come to admit that they should’ve done more to stamp it out and protect me.

I feel very sorry for any woman who chooses him for a partner.

My brother stoped speaking to me when I was 21 and he 15. I’m 33 now and he 29.

I had an argument with my stepmum - his mum - and moved out of the family home I’d been back living in since graduating university. She died of breast cancer a few years later, and though she and I had made up by then, he refused to ever forgive me. I am a very undramatic person, and this is the one time I’ve ever had a proper argument so was a bit of a shock!

We do see each other on occasion in a family context and are just about civil, but avoid talking directly. We’ve even endured a couple of family skiing holidays together - there are four of us siblings, plus partners and my dad and his new partner so not too intense in a large chalet.

Yes it’s awkward and unpleasant, but tbh we’re very different so it actually suits us well. He’s an investment banker with a Porsche and I’m a primary teacher married to someone self-employed with a one year old in tow. He does rather look down on us socially!

I'm NC with my brother he is a homeless drug addict with undiagnosed MH issues, I can't risk him being around my children as he is so unpredictable. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do as he was my absolute hero growing up and we idolized each other. Sometimes if I see him from a distance I forget who he is now and have to stop myself from running over to him. It absolutely breaks my heart to watch this man I loved so much turn into an absolute shell of himself. I'd do anything to have him back

My oldest sister has been cruel and violent to me all her life, and I haven't spoken to her in 10 years or so. Next sister I try to avoid because she tries to make me responsible for her (she's 43!) and any offer of slight help is jumped on and used as an excuse for me to do everything for her. Youngest sister is embarrassed by me, so I just don't bother with her.
I don't care if my parents mind, they are arseholes too! There has been no massive drama (despite their best efforts) but the whole family is so massively dysfunctional that I don't feel the need to engage with them.
There is also a half brother, but he threw a strop after I wouldn't phone him every week and listen to his brotherly advice (we haven't actually met and at this point I'd only known he existed for a couple of months) so I'm politely distant with him.
I get on very well indeed with the in-laws so I'm not too worried that the common factor in all this animosity is me! I wasn't really brought up with my siblings (they were kept at home and I was sent to boarding school) so there just isn't much of a bond.

This thread really is giving me pause for thought. So much for families - love and closeness and blood being thicker than water

Agreed. I have very LC with half bro. He just isn't the sociable type. 15 years older than me and scared me by being a bully when i was a kid. Just don't anything in common with him.

This thread makes me feel happy DS hasn't got any siblings!

Quite a few people mentioning bullying or sexually abusive brothers on this thread. Really disturbing.

NC with sister for 3 years will never have a relationship with her again.
Toxic, selfish and loves playing the victim makes like easier that my parents are NC with her too
Life is much simpler without her in it and constantly ringing my mum for money and slagging her off online.

LC with all my siblings after an increasingly mean set of circumstances of exclusion and judgement. I'm feeling more and more relieved I no longer have to be the scapegoat.

I often feel sad that I don’t have the sibling relationship other people have.

Went LC with my sister a year or so back (on Mumsnet advice!). It actually helped the relationship and now it is ok.

I don’t know if my Dsis has gone NC with me or not tbh but I’m a live and let live sort anyway. We don’t contact each other a lot, she has her life to live and I have mine, I’m always here for her though and I’m pretty sure she knows this, but I hope she didn’t decide to go NC with me and I just haven’t realised 😳

Also to reply to a PP, the full phrase is “the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb” meaning chosen and well forged friendships are stronger than biological relationships 😊

SunsetBoulevard3 I have two friends that were sexually abused by their brothers. Both still maintain contact as adults, and let their children be around them. it’s horrifying, all of it.

@theWarOnPeace.. that's very disturbing.

....chosen and well forged friendships are stronger than biological relationships 😊

How very true

I don't have a lot to do with my oldest brother he's a complete knobhead. He treated me and my younger brother awfully when he was doing well, now he's lost everything while we're doing ok he expect us to be nice, I just can't forget how awful he was us for on reason at all.

I have to see him occasionally for family get togethers but I just ignore him. I guess it upsets my mum a bit but I've told her after years of being treated so badly for no reason, there is no way I can or will forgive and forget. He's also lazy, selfish, self pitying and without an ounce of self awareness, everything is everyone else's fault but his. He can't work because "I can't get out of bed in a morning"
When my mum's gone I won't see him again.

Low or NC with most of my 5 siblings. Some through choice, others through circumstances. No regrets really as I wouldn't choose any of them to be my friends. I'm fortunate in that I have a large extended family and have cousins with whom I am close so I don't feel I'm missing out.

I am lc and nc with a lot of my family. I noticed quite a few PPs found problems connected to parents being ill and care being needed and also when the issue of inheritance came up. That was much the story of my experiences. I cared for parents. They decided to give me more inheritance because I had done that.
What people didn't understand was that I didn't want to lose any relatives and I was very distressed with the losses. I didn't decide who my older family members wanted to leave their money to. I had every intention of being sharing with family members. Everything offered was refused and demands were made. Nothing I did was right nor did I spend enough money on them apparently.
All that was bad enough and made me unhappy and grieving. When my siblings decided to keep close company with the proven nasty step parent I was not pleased. When I found out that they had dependant male partners I was less than pleased. Why would they work to provide for "CLs". They have the looks to get a good partner.
Eventually after divorce many years before I met someone I liked. I was scared to let that person meet my siblings. One day while out one of the siblings was in the same place as us. They had not noticed anyone with me and started shouting and swearing which is the usual method of communication. DP was shocked and tried to speak out but there was no stopping the tirade so we left. Other things happened and DP overheard things.

I would rather not see my relatives than be ashamed that they can not just meet and greet people normally. It is not what I wanted. I have this desire to have a close and loving family. It just is not going to happen with my family. I am lucky that I have had 2 good in law families.

My DD went NC with all of us, I'd had enough of her husband with his fascist and racist behaviour so told her. She even went on Facebook and unfriended relatives who live over 4 hundred miles away and hardly saw, it's her loss, well out of the drama.

I often feel sad that I don’t have the sibling relationship other people have

Me too. I just never had it. She was a lot older than me to start with and was always so bitter and jealous.
So sad

Lepetitpiggy It’s hard isn’t it but at the same time these no point attempting to create something that will never be there

Yes. It is. 😔

I feel really sad too. It’s frustrating as things could be so different. I am trying to let go of the sadness and disappointment

I haven’t seen or spoken to my brother and sister in well over 20 years. My father and I aren’t close but do keep in contact. He STILL tries to tell me what’s going on with them and I just roll my eyes and tell him I have no interest.

My dd was 18 this summer and he gave her a card from my sister. She handed it to me and, there in front of him, I tore it up and then chucked it in the bin. He’s 82 which is the only reason I haven’t told him to fuck off too.

My life is so much nicer, calmer and supportive without them. I do get wistful thinking of having a decent big sis or a lovely big brother but that’s just wishful thinking and not about them iyswim.

They are evil.

They are also a big part of the reason why my dd is an only child.

I've been NC with parents and siblings for 7yrs
Bliss
Had I known how simple my life would be, I'd have cut ties 20yrs ago.
Could not give a shit about any of them, not a toss!!