Things your DP says that drives you mad

[Butterflyflower1234]

We can't be the only couple that argue over little things that are said but they drive you bonkers.

Last night my DP told me to 'chill out' which drives me insane. I am chilled!! I just give a damn about things.

Also he has a habit of asking when I'm 'due on' if I'm being a bit moody.

He's generally pretty awesome so these are just silly things that drive me bonkers. Do you have any things like this to share?

When I’m asking for an opinion he says “yeah”. So for example I’ll say that new curtains would be expensive but the current ones don’t keep the cold out and maybe if we are playing for new curtains we should consider shutters (for example) and he’ll say “yeah” and then say nothing at all! I get that it’s not scintillating but give me something.

Mine says out loud the letters for barbecue instead of the word barbecue. For example he will say 'shall we have a bee bee que this weekend.' I feel like smashing the barbecue every single time I hear him say it.
He also says 'you know what I'm saying' after saying ANYTHING. 'Shall we have a bee bee que this weekend as weather is nice, you know what I'm saying.' Shut the fuck up, just shut the fuck up!!

Touch it once.

He's on about the muddled way I do things, according to him. It's something they've told him in work.

Yeah, ok I'll not touch it at all next time, let's see how it gets done then shall we?

'Crack on', usually when spending a day on thankless household tasks. I'm not a slave and I don't need whipping.

I ask if he likes something...food I've cooked, something I've bought, made or done. His answer is "it's ok" or "it's fine".
I think it's bloody great, everyone else does...give me some frickin enthusiasm
Now if it was a blowjob on the other hand...
"Oh that's effing amazing".
Well at least I'm good at something

Bloody EVERYTHING!!!

Every single bloke I've ever dated/married/lived with:

'Scalecktrix'

mine says "aaaaahhhh google maps says the ETTA is 10 minutes"

Like the terrorist organisation instead of E T A

Makes me want to cave his head in with a brick.

Also guilty of "do you want this or that"

"oooooohhh I dont know what to you prefer"

"Not to make every feckin decision!!!"

ETTA.... I swear one day....

“Close the doors” he’s currently got a thing about having all the internal doors shut to ‘keep the heat in’ (house is well insulated and always warm).

“Whaaaaa?” when he hasn’t heard something, which is all the time as he refuses to get hearing aids.

He also copies saying that other people say. I can tell when he has a new colleague as he’ll pick up a new saying every time. Get your own sayings!

"trust me" whenever I query something he's done or is going to do. That's not an answer! And no, I don't!

@Cauliflowerpower that made me lol

Corn rolls (corn rows)
Cumberbund (cummerbund)
Comdom

"It'll take ten minutes" - whenever I ask him to do something he's said he''ll do ages ago that hasn't been done.

"Might you glue that chair back together?"
"It'll take ten minutes"
"Please could you put sheets on the spare bed for your parents' visit?"
"It'll take ten minutes"

I don't want to know how long you estimate it will take, I want you to do it!

It's shocking how common it is for men to insinuate that a woman's period is the cause of any complaints or unhappiness ☹️

He will put things away in stages, eg, bathroom bin emptied downstairs, stayed in the kitchen a couple of days, moved to the bottom of the stairs for two days, taken upstairs to sit on the landing for couple of days, outside the bathroom door, eventually in the bathroom. Things are 'in transit', I've said if he dies first it's no hearse, it's a Ford transit van.

@Auberjean Yes it really is shocking and enraging.

"Absolutely not"

Just why, why not just no!

Oh and 'let me just'. Usually when I ask him to do something and he's trying to put it off. I call him 'Lemmy' when he does it.

Tilly I do that sometimes we have a lot of stairs so I move things onto the stairs that need to go up or down.

Can't think of anything for my DH but his friend uses the word "dystopian" to describe basically everything from the state of the kitchen to the political landscape. It's been 15 years and he clearly hasn't lost his enjoyment of the word "dystopian". He also always pauses a beat before he says it to really emphasise how...dystopian something is. It's truly...dystopian.

I’m sure I’ll win with this one! ‘I’ve got mouths to feed, kids to provide for etc.!’. I have always done and paid for the food shop. He has never made a meal for our children nor has he paid outright for their things. He also stopped paying child support for his son months ago🙄 I always feel like saying no you haven’t shut up you pansy

Me: Do you want x or y?
Him: Yes

Every time.

Exh irritates the fuck out of me by writing 'yep' instead of 'yes'.
It's so affected and it literally makes me grind my teeth every time
I get a text from him.

“I forgot “
Don’t forget ! Write it down ! Make a list , check it twice !
“I was going to do that “ Yes ! but I already did !

'I don't care' when he means 'I don't mind'. He often corrects himself nowadays though

" are you still in a mood"

Well I wasn't but I am again now