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AIBU?

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Original poster

Stuff going missing

94 replies

PostcodeJack · 03/12/2019 23:44

Lately things are going missing from the house. Amongst other things, eg. 40 fags from bedside table (no way I smoked 80 fags in 24 hours) and 20 quid from same. 20 quid was in a make up bag that sits in locker that is never out but was on bed, missing tenner, when I got home.

DP denies all knowledge. I've searched the house multiple time but to no avail.

These aren't big things in the scheme of things but having stripped searched the house, I'm at a loss as to where the stuff has gone.

Any ideas as to what's going on other than a) chain smoking ghost with a cash flow issue or b) I'm going nuts?

OP posts:
1forAll74 · 04/12/2019 03:26

I once threw a full packet of ciggies in the bin by accident, thinking it was an empty packet. Also threw a random £20 note away,that was in amongst some tatty shop receipts , in the mess which is the bottom of my handbag. I managed to retrieve the money much later, but not the ciggs, the binmen probably had them.

willowmelangell · 04/12/2019 04:04

@VenusTiger this is an old way to figure out if someone has opened your door while you are away. Just a stamp sized piece of paper. Leave just enough on view that you can see it when approach your door. Half the stamp size peaking out from the jamb, close to the floor. You just re do it each time you go out.

When you get home, you will see straight away if the paper is still in place you left it. If it is on the floor, inside or outside, then someone
has opened the door while you were out, releasing the paper to drop onto the floor.

Pinkbonbon · 04/12/2019 04:11

My first thought was that dp was gaslighting you too.

Either that or it is someone you keep letting in and leaving unsupervised. Who probably makes copies of your keys.

You aren't going crazy fs. Really dkbt know why anyone jumps to that conclusion about weird stuff happening. It isn't a ghost or mice though. Its definitely a person stealing from you if it isn't your partner.

Set up a spy cam. Don't even tell your partner. Leave a twenty on the table in plain view and if it vanishes, ask him if he's seen it in a haphazard way before viewing the footage. If he says no and you find he has taken it, he is gaslighting you and you should run for the hills.

My money is on the friend though.

BlackCatSleeping · 04/12/2019 04:29

I think nanny cam in the hall.

This happened to someone I knew and it turned out it was a neighbor who had found her keys dropped in the street and had been letting herself in when they were at work and stealing small things she thought no one would notice. It was only because she stole a credit card she got caught.

TooMuch87 · 04/12/2019 05:43

Please don't set up hidden cameras in your boyfriend's bedroom (or anywhere else in his home) without telling him first. That's really fucked up advice. It's a massive invasion of privacy and must be bordering on illegal (or just full on illegal).

Courtney555 · 04/12/2019 05:53

I'm overly invested in this already.

It's brought out the inner Poirot Grin

Pinkbonbon · 04/12/2019 05:56

Well obviously don't be filming in a bathroom/bedroom or somewhere he would be changing xD

But if it's your own home, a cam in the hall, focussed on your coat pockets. Or on a table somewhere.

EL2019 · 04/12/2019 05:57

The only post similar to this that I’ve read was on Reddit, where it turned out the poster had carbon monoxide poisoning and was forgetting large chunks of his day.
Don’t want to scare you but check carbon monoxide levels in your house.

Mumcominghome · 04/12/2019 06:06

At the risk of sounding completely cray, we had this going on at our last flat. Things would come up missing and then reappear right on the kitchen or hall table. DP, DC and I were all blaming each other. We also kept hearing strange crying in the hall at night. We moved house and all the shenanigans stopped. I'm not saying it was a ghost, but I am keeping an open mind...

Hepsibar · 04/12/2019 06:17

Wow, you must have a lot of disposable income to spend on this many cigarettes ... think what you could buy or save with the money and not risk serious health issues for yourself and others in the house ... children/pets etc.

Re the missing stuff I would think that if you and DP are the only ones in the house and you say it's not you, then it is likely to be DP. If you are in rented accomm, does the landlord have a key or do you have "friends" who have access? Or are the windows secure? If you had a dog or puppy, I would suggest they were playing with stuff and eating it, but cats tend to be more fussy. You could have misplaced it but as it's happened more than once, feel it is unlikely.

This is v unsettling. Am trying to think what I would do, you could as someone mentioned set up a camera (secretly) so you know for sure what's happening, but this will be expensive. You could say you are and not and if it stops, you know it prob was your partner.

cantfindname · 04/12/2019 06:25

We had this some years ago. To be fair I never locked my door which made it easy. Minor but annoying things were vanishing; my daughter's new trainers vanished overnight, my new jumper disappeared and also silly things designed to cause annoyance like the potato peeler and a favourite pair of (washed) knickers among other things.

It turned out it was the local thug/bully boy asserting his authority and you may not be surprised to hear it was all resolved by locking the door!! Was a bit scary as he was coming in while we were asleep upstairs. But I thought I was losing my mind when it was really bad.

Still resent having lost that jumper though as it was the most expensive thing I had ever bought and I'd only worn it once very briefly.

Courtney555 · 04/12/2019 06:33

@cantfindname

What the actual?! Confused

cantfindname · 04/12/2019 06:48

@Courtney555 I know!! He has now come off the 'weed' and is a totally changed person. Confirmation of the damage it can do to some people. No one would believe some of the other stuff he got up to!

ShinyNewNameTime · 04/12/2019 07:12

cantfind why on earth didn’t you start locking the door after the first thing went missing?!

IceBlock · 04/12/2019 07:31

This would really bother me! Logically, it’s got to be either you, DP or the guest. I’d get a camera too, sod the fact it might be illegal - it’s happening in my home and I want to find out!

Original poster
PostcodeJack · 04/12/2019 07:34

Re the suggestions of leaving stuff in plain sight - there's plenty of stuff laying about which doesn't go. It's the things I've put somewhere that seems to go. Having said that, I spent 45 minutes looking for a travel adapter on Sunday which then turned up in the first place I looked (DP downstairs the whole time). It's probably an age thing sadly

OP posts:
IndefatigableMouse · 04/12/2019 08:01

I would suggest the problem now is your guest, and before that your partner or misremembering. That's the obvious answer.

Theducksarenotmyfriends · 04/12/2019 08:10

I suspect a cat! Ours used to steal things from the post office, which was behind our house. We moved Grin

Original poster
PostcodeJack · 04/12/2019 10:35

Embarrassing to admit but I've solved the missing cigarettes. I found the receipt in my pocket this morning and... I'd bought 40 less than I remembered

OP posts:
VenusTiger · 04/12/2019 10:39

@ShinyNewNameTime or even at all, how utterly bonkers! Hope they realise their home insurance was void all that time Hmm

alphajuliet123 · 04/12/2019 10:42

So apart from the money and the now-solved cigs situation, what else has gone missing? How many incidents are we talking here?

DontCallMeShitley · 04/12/2019 10:45

Have you lost your ironing board too? (You might not remember that thread).

steppemum · 04/12/2019 10:53

you asked about attics.

There are some truly horrific stories about loft hatches and terrace houses.

  1. neighbours climbing through roof space, and down into thehouse through the loft hatch, messing aroudn with stuff, eating food, stealing small things.
  2. people LIVING in the attic, wait until you are out at work and then come down and use th ehouse, pee in the loo and didn't flush (due to noise alerting neighbours) eating food etc etc.

really weird scary stuff

MrsTommyShelby · 04/12/2019 12:31

I remember the ironing board thread. Did she ever find it?

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