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. . . AND ungrateful?

71 replies

RedPandaFluff · 03/12/2019 17:15

Arrrgggh this is so minor but it's one of a hundred times in our relationship where I've not felt listened to so the frustration is probably magnified!

DH and I agreed not to get each other "big" Christmas presents this year as we're having a baby and obviously have more important things to spend money on.

My craving has been freshly-squeezed orange juice and we nicknamed it "crack" because I was so addicted. At one point we were talking about getting a juicer but then I said "no, let's not, it would be like the nutribullet - we'd use it three times and then never again. So DON'T get me one for Christmas, for god's sake!"

I've just wandered into our home office and there's a present wrapped up - not even an attempt at being hidden - and the gift tag says "Dear RedPandaFluff - happy crackmas!" I looked at him and said "did you get me a juicer?!" and I could tell by his face that he has.

AIBU to be annoyed? Reading this back I come off as really ungrateful. But it's just so frustrating that he got me the one thing I've specifically said I didn't want. I also kind-of feel like a kitchen appliance isn't my ideal Christmas present either - surely it's about having a little treat just for yourself? Also the baby is due before Christmas so I'll probably not be bothered about orange juice anymore by the time I get it!

Ugh. We have bigger, more important things going on right now, and we're so incredibly lucky to be having this baby. I'm BU, aren't I? :-(

OP posts:
Goodnightjude1 · 03/12/2019 17:16

Yes, you are.

goodluckhun · 03/12/2019 17:18

I don't think you are, I'd be annoyed too. You said you didn't want one, you made it clear it wasn't something you were after and he got it anyway. Him getting upset or calling you ungrateful us deflecting from the fact that he didn't listen!

goldeline · 03/12/2019 17:18

YANBU. He hasn't listened to you, do not feel like you're being ungrateful.

OneUsernameOnly · 03/12/2019 17:18

No, I don’t think yabu. You haven’t been listened to.

Aquamarine1029 · 03/12/2019 17:19

I would thank him for the thought, but I would also tell him you want to return it. You won't even use it, honestly, especially with a new baby to look after. Perhaps suggest using the money for a nice dinner out for the two of you.

ItCouldHaveBeenMeCouldNotHaha · 03/12/2019 17:22

Tell him you don't want a juicer and can he please return it.

Probably soon enough after buying he could.

JumpingOnTheBed · 03/12/2019 17:24

My DH would do this exact same thing - I feel for you!

elderlee · 03/12/2019 17:25

YANBU - I would say thank you very much for the thought but ask if he'd be okay with returning it.

FoamingAtTheUterus · 03/12/2019 17:26

Mine's ordered me a knife set and a wok because I mentioned both mine are crap. 😂😂😂

He's been skipping round with excitement blessim.

Ariadnepersephonecloud · 03/12/2019 17:26

I think maybe a little bit U, but I know DH has got me something I didn't even want, in fact he pointed it out to me a few weeks ago and said he thought it was a good idea, I said I thought it was plastic tat that would never get used... Guess what I have coming! At least your DH knows what you like, my DH clearly doesn't listen at all!

DorisDances · 03/12/2019 17:27

He should have listened and YANBU to feel let down but do consider whether could be used to mush up baby food. Could be very useful!

Thingsdogetbetter · 03/12/2019 17:28

My dad is like this. I think he forgets the context of 'don't get this.....' and only remembers a link between the item and Christmas. He's always so chuffed he remembered said item and then really disappointed that he's fucked up again.

For example my mum specifically told him "we need a heater for the bedroom but if you get me one for Christmas I'll kill you". He remembered "we need a heater for the". There was swearing involved in the present unwrapping that year. And the year he got her a freezer was also a classic! Lol. Lots and lots of swearing that year. It's not deliberate on his part, and he likes to get practical gifts himself. He tries hard, but just can't get it right. He now has get permission from my sister or I before buying gifts.

Butchyrestingface · 03/12/2019 17:30

I also kind-of feel like a kitchen appliance isn't my ideal Christmas present either - surely it's about having a little treat just for yourself?

Who is the juicer a treat for if not the orange juice addict? Confused

Cryalot2 · 03/12/2019 17:31

I will be different. I know you said you didn't want it, but sometimes it can me the opposite. He may have thought that. Chances are he meant well and did it out of nothing but kindness .
If it was me I would thank him and you never know you might use it more than you think.
I know it's a house thing not a you present, but I am only guessing it was done with best intentions, so would just be thankful and write a list next year.

Thingsdogetbetter · 03/12/2019 17:32

Exhusband was worse by the way. I could guarantee my present was bought in a last minute panic from the shop nearest whatever pub he was in. That was not even trying!!

DeathStare · 03/12/2019 17:34

I think you both had the best of intentions and no real harm has been done. Use the juicer for as long as its useful and then give it away. I wouldn't let this turn into an argument

lynxca16 · 03/12/2019 17:34

Just a bit! But understandable as you are 'pretty pregnant' and it impossible to know what you want. I didn't know what I wanted at that stage - how could anyone else.
Just rest and relax

Raspberrytruffle · 03/12/2019 17:44

Maybe he should take it , sell it and get himself something nice? As I tell my children ungrateful brats get nothing especially ones that use that old chestnut pregnancy. Wink

RedPandaFluff · 03/12/2019 17:44

Yeah . . . I'm probably being a little unreasonable. But I honestly can't see myself having either the time or the inclination to make myself freshly squeezed orange juice with a newborn :-)

Also, it's a pregnancy craving. I'll have had the baby by Christmas . . . do cravings continue long after the birth? I've never been bothered about juice before so DH will probably use it more than I will!

It's more about the not-listening, though. So annoying.

Some of the stories made me laugh - a heater! And a freezer! :-D

OP posts:
rhubarbcrumbles · 03/12/2019 17:45

Make the most of having it, juicers are great.

SquareAsABlock · 03/12/2019 17:46

Who is the juicer a treat for if not the orange juice addict?

Because the op is only craving it in pregnancy, which will be over before Christmas day from her op. So it's a surplus gift that will unlikely be used or needed by the time the day comes around.

I don't think you're being unreasonable op. My OH is a tat buyer, he likes the idea of opening presents and lots of them, so I'm used to getting a load of chocolates and little cheap bits that I have to grin and appreciate each one. He also gets me a few other bits that are usually lovely and thoughtful but I dont get this idea of getting stuff, anything, just because it's Christmas. Especially expensive 'in jokes' that will eng up just taking up cupboard space.

Yes, I'm a big grinch Grin.

LEELULUMPKIN · 03/12/2019 17:51

Keep the juicer, get him to add a couple of nice bottles of champange and on Christmas morning raise a toast with a freshly squeezed Bucks Fizz in celebration of your new baby.

MaryLennoxsScowl · 03/12/2019 17:54

WTF is wrong with people on this thread? The OP specifically said she didn’t want it. And so far people have said oh, you don’t know what you want/my DH is even worse/you shouldn’t even get a present now because you’re so ungrateful! This isn’t coming from a distant relative or someone at work, it’s her DH, who is supposed to care about her feelings! If I were you I’d have told him how upset I was that he hadn’t listened and asked him to return it and listen to you next time.

cosima1 · 03/12/2019 18:06

Don’t worry about this OP. Just tell him you’d like something else as well.

Notajogger · 03/12/2019 19:42

Ask him to return it. You're right, not a chance in hell you'll use it with a newborn.
I had the juice craving too and was sick of the stuff after pregnancy!!

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