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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy or not to buy teachers/teaching assistants Christmas presents.

76 replies

AG29 · 02/12/2019 13:43

As above ^

I know this has probably been spoken about this loads so I apologise. But do you buy them presents?

In previous years I have bought Christmas gifts for my sons teachers and the teaching assistants. He has sen and I appreciate all their work.

However, now DD is also at school it’s going to be so expensive to do so.

Do they expect it? Do they get fed up of all the gifts? Is a nice card enough? Hand made card?

DS isn’t keen on anything arty or crafty so that makes it more difficult.

Teachers and 2-3 TA’s in each class Is going to add up! 🤭

OP posts:
Original poster
AG29 · 02/12/2019 13:43

Thinking of skipping the Christmas presents and just buy something at the end of the school year instead. What do you think?

OP posts:
PumpkinP · 02/12/2019 13:58

Nope!

Original poster
AG29 · 02/12/2019 14:10

Thank you. You share the same view as my OH. He hates me buying gifts for them 🤣

OP posts:
sadeyedladyofthelowlands63 · 02/12/2019 14:11

No, we don't expect gifts. Yes, a card would be appreciated - doesn't have to be hand made! To be honest, I know a lot of the families of the students I teach are struggling, and I would much rather they spent the money on their kids.

PumpkinP · 02/12/2019 14:12

I have 3 school so it would soon become very expensive!

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 02/12/2019 14:12

In recon they’d appreciate a handmade card from your DC more than yet another box of chocs.

Tableclothing · 02/12/2019 14:13

A card with a sincere message in it is lovely. As are complimentary emails to the Head. Presents are usually nice to receive but completely unnecessary.

elQuintoConyo · 02/12/2019 14:15

Nope. DS makes a thank you card at the end of the academic year. We aren't made of bloody money!

WatchingTheMoon · 02/12/2019 14:16

I don't know why this became a thing in the past 10 or whatever years, it certainly wasn't when I was at school.

A card from your child is just as well received tbh, all the present giving has gotten a bit much imo.

VanyaHargreeves · 02/12/2019 14:22

It was very much a thing when I was at school 30 years ago.

What I remember most though is the year that my friends parents forgot and he gave a bar of chocolate of his own.

There was tittering and the teacher dealt with it SO well made a big point of thought that counts and that it was the boys own doing/character not his parents silenced the room.

It always stayed with me. Mad respect to that teacher

Fandoozle1 · 02/12/2019 14:25

If you don’t wish to give a gift I’m sure a card is more than enough (if you feel like doing that), DD (age 6) write’s a little thank you in the card and then i also put in a message from us parents thanking the teacher for all their hard work.

jillowarriorqueen · 02/12/2019 14:25

When mine were at primary school, I'd buy a little something for their class teacher (£5 ish) and send in a box of biscuits for the staff. Some years, the parents would have a whip 'round and everyone would give £1, then a parent would organise a gift on behalf of all the kids in the class.

That said, as a teacher myself, although I've appreciated gifts in the past I've never expected them for a minute. I think I'd actually feel bad if I knew the family were struggling and they'd gone out of their way to spend money on me to be honest.

holly40 · 02/12/2019 14:26

I think its nice to give a little something. I'm sure its not expected necessarily, but it is nice to show a bit of appreciation for all the effort put in.
We are spending £5 each on 1 teacher and 2 TAs (just voucher for a coffee shop or similar). So it's not much but it's a thank you. I'll also do a card and put a line in mentioning something DC has particularly enjoyed at school this year.

LolaSmiles · 02/12/2019 14:28

Nobody expects it at all. If someone wants to then that's lovely and appreciated. Thoughtful sincere messages in a card melt my heart most. Some places present giving has become an obligation or social pressure or expectation (and utterly ridiculous if MN is anything to go by buy I've never seen the amounts claimed on here).

I'd not feel any pressure to though.

Tvstar · 02/12/2019 14:31

How about buying presents for their brown owls, sports coaches etc who volunteer their tie for your dc, rather than the school staff who are paid

mogloveseggs · 02/12/2019 14:34

We don't. Can't afford to. Do get the lollipop lady a little something though as a well done for not getting run over for another term terrifying driving round our way

mastertomsmum · 02/12/2019 14:36

When my DC was at a school where he got given a hard time by teachers because of developmental issues we had a collection to buy vouchers for the class teacher and TA. The suggested amount for the teacher was more than for the TA. The teacher was hopeless the TA was fab. I reversed and gave more to TA.

ThisIsSunrise · 02/12/2019 14:37

A card, handwritten by the child, is always lovely. Especially so, if the capital letters are all in the correct place!

Liverbird77 · 02/12/2019 14:37

It isn't necessary at all. I never expected anything when I was teaching. I got paid for my job.

Hoppinggreen · 02/12/2019 14:37

I have had dc at Primary school for 10 years in total so far and the only time I bought them any kind of present was if the dc asked me to.
Dd did twice and DS has once so far and given how fond he is of his teacher this year I doubt there will be a second time.
I do appreciate what they do and help in other ways all year with fundraising etc but I dont generally buy them presents and certainly feel no pressure to

Starlight456 · 02/12/2019 14:40

@Tvstar this comes up on all the threads . My Ds does scouts with about 6 leaders and young leaders . They don’t have a staff room to put a ton of biscuits in so would be really hard to do . He is secondary now so does send a card no gift.

He has sent them to most teachers that were appreciated not to the ones who weren’t.

joCmummy · 02/12/2019 14:43

My two are at nursery I do card and a little box of chocolates for them. I have a friend who teaches, judging by some of her stories I'm going to have to change chocolate to vodka by high school 😂😂😂😂

TabbyMumz · 02/12/2019 14:48

Present giving for teachers has absolutely mushroomed in the last 19 years. Sometimes to the point of ridiculousness, ie parents doing shared collections and the teachers ending up with hundreds of pounds. It doesnt happen in High School thank God.

Divebar · 02/12/2019 14:50

Gift giving in my school is BIG. Class collection emails have already started from the class reps and if last year is anything to go by we’ll be handing over vouchers of up to £300 to the teacher. According to lots of people on MN though buying a little token is short hand for” tat” and is only slightly better than getting your kiddo to make something (because as we now know anything remotely handmaid and not produced by the kitchens of Fortnums or the Duchy of F-Ing Cornwall is not fit for human consumption and must be incinerated immediately.)

TabbyMumz · 02/12/2019 14:51

That should have said 10, not 19. I've never bought teacher a present. They get paid a good salary. I'm not their employer so I dont need to give them gifts.