To buy or not to buy teachers/teaching assistants Christmas presents.

[AG29]

As above ^

I know this has probably been spoken about this loads so I apologise. But do you buy them presents?

In previous years I have bought Christmas gifts for my sons teachers and the teaching assistants. He has sen and I appreciate all their work.

However, now DD is also at school it’s going to be so expensive to do so.

Do they expect it? Do they get fed up of all the gifts? Is a nice card enough? Hand made card?

DS isn’t keen on anything arty or crafty so that makes it more difficult.

Teachers and 2-3 TA’s in each class Is going to add up! 🤭

[LolaSmiles]

That sounds ridiculous dive. It's only on MN that I've heard of class collections like that for Christmas.

Our GCSE/A level students do a collection typically at the end of y11/13 and get one nice gift rather than lots of small ones, which makes sense.

Token gifts aren't always tat, but honestly as a teacher I'd rather parents sent a lovely card than (for example) a candle that I can't use due to asthma, or another teacher mug. All gifts are appreciated but I'd rather parents didn't feel the pressure to buy gifts full stop than buy something out of perceived pressure or obligation.
In that respect I can see the merit in an optional, low cost class collection at primary school because £2/3 each would give one gift that may be more useful than lots of small things, but it should be entirely optional, no pressure, no nagging on group chats, no imposed amounts etc.

[Fucck]

4 dc, close in age. Never have, never will!

[AG29]

Thanks all. My mum always used to make me take a little something in every Christmas and end of year and I’m 28 but I feel there’s more pressure now.

I just don’t know where to stop. It’s a lovely school with great teachers and teaching assistants. Volunteers, staff that help out, dinner ladies, receptionist. It’s a small school but I just can’t afford it this year. I have done it in previous year’s.

I’m going to get the children to write them a nice message in a card (well DD is 4 and can’t write yet obviously so a nice picture and her name lol)

[dottiedodah]

I think the problem was when mine were at School ,that so many of their classmates wanted to take Teacher a present ,that they may feel left out if they dont have anything to give. Just a small token ,Wine always gratefully recieved! ,A nice scented candle , some chocs or a book token maybe .Obviously if families are struggling then no worries just nice to do if you can I guess !

[Elenorrigbywoes]

I send presents as so far the teachers have been excellent and have gone beyond what they are paid to do. I don't think their salary covers cleaning up puke, having spare clothes and changing students when they have an accident etc. I'm getting a voucher for a wash and blow dry this year as we share the same hairdresser. It is just something to acknowledge the extras that have been done. It isn't expecting and you don't have to buy a present if you don't want to.

[RhymingRabbit3]

How about buying presents for their brown owls, sports coaches etc who volunteer their tie for your dc, rather than the school staff who are paid
Absolutely agree with this, as both a teacher and a Brown Owl, I would appreciate a gift from one of my Brownies a lot more as it is not the "done thing" so it feels like they personally wanted to thank me, whereas with school kids it's just because everyone else is doing it.

[LoonyLunaLoo]

Whilst I appreciate all the gifts that I’ve been given, I’d much rather a struggling family spend even £1 on their own children than a box of malteasers for me (although I’m one of the odd ones that loves to receive a box of Malteasers 😂). If you do want to send something, send a tub of chocolates or biscuits for the staff room and make it clear that they’re for everyone. If they don’t get eaten before christmas, they’ll make a nice treat one break time in January!

[Downton57]

Please don't if you can't afford/don't want to. The teacher won't mind. And only send a card if it's heartfelt. Lovely messages will be really, really appreciated. But for the posters being nasty about it, give over. It's very likely that the teacher will have spent lots of her salary on resources to benefit your child, and she'll probably be on Pinterest tonight looking for cute gift ideas for the pupils. And she's not the one griping.

[TabbyMumz]

" I don't think their salary covers cleaning up puke, having spare clothes and changing students when they have an accident etc"
Yes, it does. Their job role has been well evaluated under strict job evaluation rules and they get points for this, which then equates to their relevant salary grade.

[Andbreatheout]

Between my 2 dc I have 8 teachers/TAs/Deaf support

Dc are writing a card they made and I'm adding a letter in to thank them personally with examples of how they've helped the dc. Was hoping to add a bottle of prosecco like previous years but will probably be a mini now I've realised how many. We are another school with collections that usually end up adding up to £200+ for each class. It's a shame though, not many people realise teachers have to declare gifts of over £20 and I think pay tax on them? So other years it's been presented in increments of £19.99.

[TabbyMumz]

"she'll probably be on Pinterest tonight looking for cute gift ideas for the pupils. And she's not the one griping."

One of my kids got a pencil off one teacher, once. It was a lovely thought, but quite unusual for the teacher to give gifts. Happened once in a span of about 10 years.

[Nicknacky]

I don’t buy teachers presents, never have. I will get something for the rainbow volunteers though.

[ItWasntMyFault]

My Dd is a TA at a primary school. Whilst she appreciates and is very grateful for any presents, what she likes more than anything is a card with a handwritten note in either from the child or the parent as it's more personal.
You really shouldn't feel you have to give presents that you can't afford.

[littlemeitslyn]

'Bloody money ' 🙄

[Dontsweatthelittlestuff]

Mine are well past school age and I never gave gifts or even a card.
They were polite enough to give a cheery “merry Christmas” to everyone as they left on the last day of term which I always thought was sufficient.

[Boots20]

My childrens school specifically say not to buy presents for teachers but instead if we wish we can donate to charity instead

[Divebar]

@LolaSmiles

It’s a difficult thing to question Lola because as soon as you do people accuse you of ingratitude. I only have one DD now 7 so I have no other point of reference other than this school. I can tell you that in reception the teacher got Tea for two at the Ritz and some flowers and other bits and pieces. The first couple of years I got my DD to make biscuits and we put them in a pretty jar but I’ve stopped because I’ve read more than once on here the fact that no teacher would dream of eating them and how the bins on the last day are overflowing with homemade stuff that is dumped. My sister teaches reception in a much less affluent area and gets little gifts at the end of the year ( not Christmas) like homemade jam and honey and boxes of Maltesers and would never dream of being disparaging about anything she was ever given but on here that would be filed under “ tat” I’m sure. It’s embarrassing.

[OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow]

Honestly, as someone who has done both, don't let it cross your mind. We don't keep score. We don't mind. A message of support, a heartfelt thank you is better than anything.

[CFlemingSmith]

Don't expect gifts HOWEVER if you are going to gift, we much prefer something homemade as we know thought has gone into it

[Downton57]

@TabbyMumz Your evidence clearly trumps my 30 years experience in schools and all those teachers on the facebook sites I follow must be telling fibs about the present making/giving they are doing this month. I'm also pretty sure teachers don't get points for cleaning up sick.

[LolaSmiles]

Divebar
I think some people are just really snobby on here to do with gifts.

I'm sure being secondary means I've got a different frame of reference to people in early years or primary (mainly because old older students and students having 10-13 teachers we don't get the same volume of presents). Any lovely sentiments are appreciated.

I can see why a primary teacher might prefer parents not to do a gift rather than end up with 28 teddies, teacher mugs, bottles of wine etc. It's not so much ingratitude as they'll absolutely appreciate the sentiment whilst also thinking "I've got more mugs/wine/chocolate than I know what to do with". For that reason I can see some merits in a whip round, but the amounts given on here are so far beyond anything I've heard of in my area makes me wonder what sort of catchment these schools have.

[GarkandGookin]

In our school a £300 gift would cause management to get involved to send it back - we don't allow class collections or competitive gift-giving.
We do get paid you know, we don't work in schools purely for the love of it (although that certainly helps!)

Send in a Christmas card with a 'thank you' comment in it.
That always makes me happy and feel appreciated.

[zebrapig]

Our class WhatsApp has suggest a donation of £5 for the teacher and £3 split between two TA's. The other class are doing £7 for their teacher and £3 split for the TA's. Names of everyone who has donated are going to be written in a card. I don't agree with it at all so I'm not donating. I'm sure our teacher is great with the kids but when I speak to her she's like a wet weekend and I wasn't filled with confidence when DD went back in after a hospital stay with an open wound behind her ear and she showed no interest.

[Dieu]

I would give a decent present if my child had 1:1 support from a TA. To be honest, it would be bad form not to, as they will know your child better than the teacher does and regularly go the extra mile.
I still buy small presents for teachers though, or contribute to any fund that is happening.
Unless you're really feeling the pinch, then I can't see how it's going to break the bank.

[AG29]

Thanks all. It’s not that begrudge buying them anything. I’ve done it every year since but it’s at least 7 presents to buy and I don’t know where to start. My car has just gone wrong and I’m trying to do Christmas on a budget 😏 money is tighter than it ever has been this year!