To really hate this - Christmas

[Iamnotagoddess]

DH and I have 3 children each, none together, so six kids.

We have been together 10 years and have tried to always make everything the same.

Oldest kids are now in their twenties.

Before I met him I always had an idea in my head of what I could afford to spend and would do so according to whatever the kids put on their Xmas list,

We have an agreed spending limit of £100 per child, thing is his kids aged 12 and 14 know this (because he has told them) so just order £100 of shite of Amazon each year which just gets left here or taken home and wrecked.

I said maybe we should lower it Ito £80 each this year (my kids wouldn’t know) but he’s totally against it.

I think it’s just an absolute waste of money.

I really want to know how this works, I can't picture it. What is £100 of shite? Does their mum rest of family buy reasonable presents?

Come on op, give us some examples of shite.

whats 'tat' to some isn't to other, if you where receiving it you would have a point but its not your gift so not your place to complain about not liking it.

I love what most call 'tat' and I have this stuff from childhood, if your giving me a gift there no point spending £50 on a cashmere scarf or a kindle for me because I wouldn't care but £20 on a pile of cheap 'tat' I'll likely treasure.

my point is it doesn't really matter what you as the giver thinks is 'tat' but rather the receivers opinions that matter.

also I dont get what you mean by 'get left here'?

thats their fathers house right?
why wouldn't they leave things there?

my kids leave stuff at their grandparents and everywhere because they treat it like their home and go visit and will need stuff to play with there, its bizarre you think they shouldn't have stuff at their fathers home.

Just realised who you are OP, an extra £20 for presents is a red herring. End this relationship, it's a toxic environment for everyone, including the children.