‘Excuse me’ - NO!

[TheRightHonerable]

Surely ‘excuse me’ is what you say when somebody is blocking your path and you need to jump past? It means stepping to the side for a second and then continuing what you were doing.

DH and I went to our cities Christmas market last weekend. It’s popular and busy but also quite unavoidable for residents as in the same streets as the banks/normal everyday shops.

I was honestly floored by the amount of times people said ‘excuse me’ ...then when I stepped out to let them pass, they just took my place to look at the items I had been looking at!! That’s not ‘excuse me’- Thats ‘get out of my way!!’ AIBU?

I pointed this out to a woman whilst I was crammed into a right angle of shelves in M&S, no through route and people either side of me.

Her: Excuse me
Me: Sorry, there’s no room.
Her: I just want to grab some cards
Me: holding 2 packs of cards in the 3 for 2 offer and clearly choosing my third ... Then wait until I’m finished grabbing my cards instead of expecting me to get out of your way!

She huffed and disappeared. No doubt thinking I was the one being rude 🤔

My SIL and DB went into town this weekend and said the exact same happened to them all day! People seeming like they wanted to get past but then just took their place the moment they moved. I think I’m going to have to stop being so Accomodating/polite in future as it honestly wound me up so badly.

Curly that's so true. I was reversing out of a space today in a industrial estate type shopping place. Cars were going far to fast and 5 were going so fast I had to stop suddenly because they couldn't stop in time to let me finish my manoeuvre.
The only consolation is that it was full and if they'd have waited could have had my space. But the person who did stop got it and they were doing a 2nd circuit as I exited!

And don't remind me about the two women having a gossip in the aisle, both with trollies. Completely blocking the passage and right in front of the items I wanted. Apparently I was 'extremely rude' in asking if I could please get past.

Just because someone is in their forties doesn't mean they don't have bladder issues like overactive bladder or urge incontinence. Or perhaps are on medication that have these as side effects.

What about those wheely trollies teamed up with a supermarket shopping trolley

Also the men with their wife who just get in the way somehow

YANBU! I was in a crowd the other day waiting to watch Santa turn our towns Christmas lights on (). We had turned up early so had quite a good spot but it was verrrrry busy and not much room to move. A woman then proceeds to say ‘excuse me, excuse me’ to everyone whilst leading her husband and kids through the crowd only to stand in the spaces people had just tried to create for her to just about walk though. The cheeky cow. She then got pissed off because all the people who were sort of leaning back to make way for her to walk through moved forward again and her family were getting squashed so she yelled ‘PLEASE DONT PUSH MY CHILD!’. Well lady you’ve literally just inserted yourself somewhere where there isn’t enough space what do you expect! Grrr.

Yes, tequila! We had that in the summer when our local football team did a parade through the city. It was so crowded. We had an ok spot near the edge of the road and there were people who did that. At first we thought it was people wanting to re-join relatives or friends they had had to leave for a few mins, but soon got wise to the fact they were just cheeky fuckers and wanted a better view than us and the people next to us who had got there much earlier!

I totally get you OP. This drives me insane. I get so irritated when I stand aside to let someone get past,then they proceed to start browsing something on the shelf,while I'm standing there like a lemon! As for people who stand directly in front of me when I'm looking at something on the shelf,well,I have no words. Ill mannered doesn't come close. And just as an aside,while were on the topic of rude people in shops,if someone trips over your shopping trolley (the pull-along ones,not the ones you put your shopping in before you pay) because they are not looking where they're going (staring at their phone),is it their fault? Or yours? Woman in Poundland today seemed to think it was my fault!

Another thing I've noticed more and more frequently over the past few years,is that people seem to have lost their peripheral vision. Either that,or it's an overblown sense of entitlement (as in,'I'm not moving out of the way for anyone' attitude). Whenever I'm in a shop and approaching someone who is standing right in the way,they NEVER move,even if I'm literally inches away from them. I always have to say 'excuse me please' (and even then,some of them don't move). If I'm standing in a place,such as the middle of a shop aisle,I can see someone approaching out of the corner of my eye,and act accordingly.

You can, Minty, unless you have a van or something parked next to you. You just look over your shoulder, in mirrors and look all the way behind you.

You really can’t. You have about half a dozen blind spots. Plenty of evidence shows reversing in to a space is far safer than reversing out of it, which is why the HSE recommend it for any company car park.

But you carry on blaming others who are far less likely to know you are manoeuvring if you are reversing out.

I think car parking at this time of year would deserve its own thread 😂🎄
I’ve seen some ridiculous CF stuff happen in car parks.

My favourite recently - Shopping centre, everyone crawling around looking for spaces. Car two ahead of me gets one, indicates and pulls forward to reverse into it. Car behind them (directly in front of me) pulls right up behind them purposely stopping them being able to reverse into spot and forcing them to drive on. Absolute CF then indicates and pulls forward to reverse in themselves ... so I did exactly the same to them 😂 literally got right up their arse - there was some horn beeping and rude gestures but in the end they drove on.

I didn’t even need the space, I was leaving ... just felt like they deserved it 😂

But you carry on blaming others who are far less likely to know you are manoeuvring if you are reversing out

And you carry on deliberately misunderstanding the scenario I’m talking about.

How can someone NOT KNOW someone is reversing slowly out of a space when they are watching them do exactly that then deciding that they would rather not wait for them to finish and just swerve round them instead.

I didn’t even need the space, I was leaving ... just felt like they deserved it 😂

Karma!

I think you are thoroughly unreasonable! I cannot abide ditherers on Mogadon. Town was full of them today in every aisle of every shop, doing my nut in. Just get what you want and move out of the way!!!

Just get what you want and move out of the way!!!

🤔 Just go online and buy it if you know exactly what you want!
Not everybody goes shopping like a military procedure- it’s ok to want to browse. You don’t get to dictate everyone else’s behaviour.

A 40 year old woman thought asking to jump ahead of a visibly pregnant woman in line for a wee...was fine

Hopefully your pregnancy doesn’t leave you with continence or urgency issues that mean you are the one on the verge of having an accident.

@Aloe6

🤔 Being 6 months pregnant is the reason I myself was in more urgent than usual need of a wee. But I wouldn’t have asked or expected to be let ahead of anyone else.
There was an empty disabled loo available - so had the woman genuine reason (incontinence/hidden disability...etc) she could have used that.

Sorry but asking to push ahead of a visibly pregnant women in a regular toilet queue is CF behaviour in my opinion.

My pet irritation is the people who park their trolleys against the veg or any other shelf and wonder off. I have no hesitation I yanking it out of the way and leaving it there.
I once saw a woman throw a Christmas cake on the floor in a temper in M&S

So being 6 months pregnant automatically means your needs are more urgent than anyone else’s?

For all she knew you weren’t desperate, and maybe she was, so she asked. No harm done.

People are very rude these days I find. I was once at a soft play sitting at a table that backed into another table. No walkway between the backs of the chairs at each table. The actual walkway was blocked by some other mothers who had decided to pull out chairs and sit there in a huddle. This woman decided that rather than ask them to move out of the way she would move my chair while I was sitting in it! When I took umbrage at her pushing my chair in like I was a child she told me that nobody could get past - but it wasn’t a bloody aisle!

I use a walker and sometimes a wheelchair and I say excuse me and thank you when they do move. The amount of people that don’t move or move ever so slightly (my walker and wheelchair are quite big). Normally when they’re blocking an entire aisle to have a chat.
I admit I have started just going because I can only stand for so long and I got so fed up of being in pain and still not getting my shopping done because someone couldn’t move 30cm!
A few people move out of the way wayyyy before I get to what I’m looking for and it’s a bit awkward because although I appreciate it I am in a shop to look at things not just wizz round the aisles . My DH didn’t believe this was a thing but he saw loads of people doing it when we went shopping yesterday and was baffled haha.
Flip side, lovely lady yesterday said excuse me (2 women in front could of moved out of the way but didn’t) my walker was stuck (silly queuing bollard things) and I said sorry I can’t and she said no worries and everyone in the next queue over moved to let her squeeze past. Restored a little bit of faith in humanity!

@Aloe6

Being 6 months pregnant doesn’t mean you automatically need to sit down more either but wouldn’t you find it rude if a non disabled person asked a visibly pregnant woman to give up their seat on a bus.

It’s just not polite. If there was a genuine reason she needed the loo more urgently than a regular person she could have used the empty disabled loo.

I’m not going to argue with you as clearly we have different morals. I was raised to think you shouldn’t ask to cut in front of people with small children or pregnant women in toilet queues.

How can someone NOT KNOW someone is reversing slowly out of a space when they are watching them do exactly that then deciding that they would rather not wait for them to finish and just swerve round them instead.

You can’t know what other people know.

TheRightHonerable Brilliant!

Sweetpea

It irks me at the gym when someone wants to get to their locker. Fair enough if I’m browsing on my phone endlessly but not if I am halfway through putting on a shoe. Being an arsey old cow I have been known to 1. Ignore them and 2. If, they persist, tell them to just wait.

Oh you’re one of THOSE people! Honestly, grab your stuff and move away from the lockers if you need to get dressed. It’s really inconsiderate to all other gym users.

OP, I’m sure it was annoying for you, but the mental image is hilarious I’m afraid. I wonder if it would work in busy restaurants (“Could I just ask you to stand up for a sec? Great thanks I’ll have your table if you’re done with it” “What, wait no, we just stood up to let you past!”), in taxis (“Excuse me, I think I left something in there, could I just ask you to hop out for a sec while I check the back seat? Great, they’re gone. Now driver, take me to 34 Acacia Drive”)