‘Excuse me’ - NO!

[TheRightHonerable]

Surely ‘excuse me’ is what you say when somebody is blocking your path and you need to jump past? It means stepping to the side for a second and then continuing what you were doing.

DH and I went to our cities Christmas market last weekend. It’s popular and busy but also quite unavoidable for residents as in the same streets as the banks/normal everyday shops.

I was honestly floored by the amount of times people said ‘excuse me’ ...then when I stepped out to let them pass, they just took my place to look at the items I had been looking at!! That’s not ‘excuse me’- Thats ‘get out of my way!!’ AIBU?

I pointed this out to a woman whilst I was crammed into a right angle of shelves in M&S, no through route and people either side of me.

Her: Excuse me
Me: Sorry, there’s no room.
Her: I just want to grab some cards
Me: holding 2 packs of cards in the 3 for 2 offer and clearly choosing my third ... Then wait until I’m finished grabbing my cards instead of expecting me to get out of your way!

She huffed and disappeared. No doubt thinking I was the one being rude 🤔

My SIL and DB went into town this weekend and said the exact same happened to them all day! People seeming like they wanted to get past but then just took their place the moment they moved. I think I’m going to have to stop being so Accomodating/polite in future as it honestly wound me up so badly.

totally get the people taht think they are entitled to walk three/four abreast on a pavement and everyone else to go around them.

also detest people that stand and block the pavement outside a pub.

Christmas shopping (And for the rest of the Year) - everyone just looks so bloody miserable with this general atmosphere of hostility in the air. I also, without fail, get the snooty looking woman behind me at the check-out who is unashamedly eyeing up each individual item I have put down - either in judgement or in irritation that I dare be in front of her - RAGE!!!

You know dithering is not an age related trait, right?

I think it is. Young people often struggle to weigh risk carefully. Older people can be risk averse.

It's an average, but I think most people would accept you are slower and more likely to dither as you get older.

@ChristaMSieland

Yes, are you aware of the ‘fast paced- impatient- always in a rush’ stigma my age group seem to get constant stick for? 🤔

For once I’ll use it to my advantage I think.

No, I wasn't aware of that. Anyone stereotyping behavioural traits by age is being weird.

Everyone seems to have such luck online shopping is it just me who loses about 30% of their list to ‘unavailable items’??

I also find dates can be a bit short but that’s beside the point.

I have friends currently bragging about their 23rd Dec delivery slots but I know if I did that I’d end up missing 4/5 vital items and having to go hunting on Christmas Eve and items that didn’t turn up do always seem to be in stock in my local Sainsbury’s so no idea why they didn’t turn up!

I do my big Christmas shop in the early hours of the morning at our local 24 hour store 😬 it’s a bit of a tradition now- lovely and quiet though 👍🏻

@ChristaMSieland

Yeah totally weird. My DH’s a Dr and stereotypes patients over 70 as more likely to have hip replacements... and women between 13-50 as potentially pregnant ... what a weirdo 🙈

I was at a Christmas fair and trying to escape, only way through the cafe. Way out blocked by three women having a natter. I said excuse me, one said "oo sorry" and then THEY DIDNT FUCKING MOVE! Whyyyyyyy?

@ChristaMSieland

I mean just because it’s statistically and logically the case doesn’t mean we should ever stereo type, I totally agree 👍🏻

Last night in a pub, I was queueing behind the person being served (its a narrow bar and close to the door with an awkward entrance). A woman cut to the side of him and tried to place her order with the barman, she might not have realised the setup or she might have been a CF. Who knows? Rather satisfying, the barman pointed out the queue and said that she was at the back of it as other people were already waiting. A lot of pubs would just have served her regardless.

Yeah totally weird. My DH’s a Dr and stereotypes patients over 70 as more likely to have hip replacements... and women between 13-50 as potentially pregnant ... what a weirdo

I did say BEHAVIOURAL traits, which pregnancy and worn hips aren't, are they?

I cannot see or sense people unless they say Excuse Me. I am quite amused knowing that they are trying to squeeze past me. All they have to do is be polite and I will move...

Totally agree OP!

And people do this at gigs too. Say "excuse me" and then take the place where you were standing.

So hard to point out how rude it is without seeming like the aggressor.

YANBU, but it's always been common to use polite expressions impolitely: 'PLEEEAAAAASE!!!'; 'SORRY, will you stop doing X?!'; etc. Unfortunately, Christmas shopping brings out rudeness in lots of people.

The one thing that really annoys me is when the checkout assistant & the person at the front of the queue decide to have a 20 minute gossip, the queue is getting longer & longer, but they take no notice & carry on chatting.

@ChristaMSieland

Yes and it has been medically proven that small children and elderly process things at different speeds to the general 15-65 age range meaning yes they are more likely to ‘dither’ or in non douche language ‘take a bit longer to make a decision’.

It’s also the case that elderly are more likely to suffer with mobility problems (hip replacement a medical example of this) - I’m not sure you can say that 75+ year olds being slower or walking with aids is a BEHAVIOURAL trait. It’s medical.

I was in a supermarket last week a woman and her husband with buggy and trolly were having a look at tins of tuna. I needed a tin, I waited thirty seconds and they were still weighing up the tuna. I went up the next aisle and the back down the tuna aisle. They were still there so I said excuse me and shoved my arm through them to get a tin. They tutted me. I noticed them wandering double breasted down every othe aisle having a discussion about what crisps to buy and other shite.

I know, please just get on with it

I agree. Most of the time I think I must be invisible because some people will just shove me out on the way to get to the spot I'm in. I do call them out on it though because it is so rude!

If I was in a hurry, and knew exactly what I wanted, but someone was in front of it, taking time over their choice (as is their right), I might say “Excuse me, do you mind if I quickly grab X?” - but if they said “No”, I would accept that, and wait.

I wouldn’t dream of doing what @TheRightHonerable is describing - that is just rude.

Try being in a wheelchair......

I do not like shopping. More so at Christmas time. I am glad when it is all over. Pure Humbug.

It’s also the case that elderly are more likely to suffer with mobility problems (hip replacement a medical example of this) - I’m not sure you can say that 75+ year olds being slower or walking with aids is a BEHAVIOURAL trait. It’s medical.

Wow. You'd lump disability in as part of "dithering"?! I mean, of course disability is medical. You are saying some very odd things.

I do as much as possible on line. It's just too "peopley" out there 😁