Your favourite competitive under-eating thread

[StillCoughingandLaughing]

We’ve had a couple of doozies lately - the woman who was told her Morrison’s jacket potato should fill her up for the rest of the day and was unreasonable to cook a roast after a ‘treat lunch’; the woman who thought her husband was ordering too much pizza and

It is genuinely interesting though how eating and weight correlates.

I've got one of those tall, rugby playing children. He's 13, 6'3, perfectly in shape and eats for England, but stops when he is full and sees food as fuel - he has no emotional attachment to it at all.

My other two are completely different and I have to watch them like a hawk because they eat for comfort (like their mother) and will become fat if I don't monitor it.

My mother was the queen of competitive under eating and I've had to spend a lot of time (via therapy) understanding why that's not a good thing.

It's all a balance = see above.

I think MN isn't representative of the norm - you get the competitive under eaters and those who question anyone who obviously overeats as having an eating disorder.

I'm a size 6. I'm told on countless occasions I've an eating disorder/anorexic.

Point 1 - how dare you comment on my size - would that be ok if I said the opposite?

Point 2 - eating a 14 " pizza is not something to be 'proud of' ffs

It's not something to be ashamed of either.

I've just realised that my DSis food shamed me when I was 7 months pregnant and suffering with severe pregnancy related nausea and actually eating less than normal. I took a second helping (a small handful) of the plain pasta shells that we had been served with our two fish fingers each for dinner... She touched my leg and smiled patronisingly, saying "aaaw, so hungry, bless you honey" or something like that. I was really annoyed but I couldn't quite figure out why. We're the same size, about 8-10.

I do think mumsnet is representative with food and weight issues, just like it's clearly representative in earning threads and the variations there.

I think what happens here is people get involved in the discussion, and basically say things that they think that they'd simoly never say in real life. Also a lot of exaggeration and deliberate mis understanding being thrown in for effect.

People post their thoughts, feelings, issues etc but in reality in real life you'd never know that persons real thoughts. Certainly not the absolute anger and rage that's being displayed here by some posters.

I was friends with a woman,, we met up at a cafe at 3pm but she didn't eat. She told me she was stuffed as she'd had a crumpet for breakfast and some raisins later on in the day...

I always assume they are lying and eat in private. I knew a woman who did this, ate tiny portions when in company then said she'd wash up, closed the kitchen door and started to eat the leftovers. No one would have cared what she ate at the table.

People who cut out carbs are eating unhealthy and have disordered eating. I know someone who won’t eat carrots as they are ‘unhealthy’. You can’t cut out a food group and it be good for you. Carbs give us energy. They don’t make you fat, too much does. I roll my eyes when I hear of yet another person on this fad diet

This thread just reminded me of this

m.youtube.com/watch?v=zQucWXWXp3k

Food is for fuel is like saying sex is for reproduction. Makes a pleasurable thing very boring.

Just admit you don't want to eat the lindor because you think it'll make you fat

This is it, isn’t it. A lot of the people who say this really, really just want you to help them eat it, so they get to eat some without fear of getting fat — and so they don’t have to throw it away or leave it behind. Well, let it be noted I’m always happy to help out 😁

But I’m not giving you half my dessert if you didn’t order any 🤬

I eat sod all. I'm happy with one meal a day.

I don't have much of an appetite (due to medication) and to be honest, food doesn't interest me. I only eat for fuel to keep me going. I guess you could say I actually don't enjoy food.

People should be allowed do eat what they want and it not get commented on. I am often told "you don't eat enough". I stay polite, but really want to just say "f off and mind your own business!!".

@MangoFeverDream

** MangoFeverDream

Food is for fuel is like saying sex is for reproduction. Makes a pleasurable thing very boring. **

But can’t you see that for some it is. That particular person may not enjoy sex or see it as a pleasure able thing at all. They may see, say knitting, as much more enjoyable

People who cut out carbs are eating unhealthy and have disordered eating

Oh my. How can people be so uneducated about food. No one cuts out carbs. As said, even cucumber has carbs. Eating a low carb diet, and it's low carb as a percentage of your daily intake does not mean you've a eating disorder,

Honestly the lack of knowledge people have on food is astonishing. But publicly commenting on something you clearly know nothing about, and getting it wrong, is something else.

She told me once that she “didn’t like food “ Like how can that even be a thing???

It can be easily. As I said before, I'm just not interested in it. You could put a meal from a top chef in front of me and it wouldn't do anything for me in the slightest.

I think some posters are conflating the idea of 'competitive underrating' (ie bragging/ drawing attention to your small portion or shaming others for eating more) with the fact that some people genuinely do have different appetites and preferences. Saying you don't like having a large dinner day to day isn't necessarily 'competitive under eating' but getting your knickers in a twist about someone else wanting more than a 'whole can of soup' for dinner is.

Nothing wrong with being a small eater as long as you don't make a thing about it and comment on other people's eating.
And of course as long as you're not one of those people who say they don't want any chips/pudding - and then nick other people's.

Having said that I once shared a flat with two girls who pretended that they ate like birds (somewhat plump birds) but would pig out when they though nobody was going to catch them at it. As I did once - they both blushed hot pink with the 'shame' of it. As if I gave a toss what they did or didn't eat!

Nothing wrong with being a small eater as long as you don't make a thing about it and comment on other people's eating.

And the converse. If you're a big eater you also shouldn't comment and make a thing about those who aren't. Insinuating they will waste away or have an eating disorder.

I remember ages ago a thread about magnums (the ice lollies) & the amount of posters saying that they can't even manage one. Too rich, too sickly etc. Whereas a lot of posters (myself included) professed to scoffing the whole box

@Bluntness100

Totally agree. I have been preached at by many (including family members) saying that I'm odd, must be something wrong with me like they are all experts.

I tell them quite simply that I'm fine as I am, but it's never enough and it's not long before another comment is trotted out. They'll catch me on the raw one day and I'll explode.

What I don't understand on here is that people don't seem to realise how different people are.

Some people need twice/thrice the food others need because they are taller, muscular, more active, younger. That's a huge variation, thats the difference between a salad or steak & chips followed by dessert

As long as you are a healthy weight, you are doing it right for you. But what's right for you is unlikely to be right for your friend, mother or son.

Point 1 - how dare you comment on my size - would that be ok if I said the opposite?

MN, and indeed the whole of society, demonstrate that people feel extremely free to comment on overweight people. Don’t go thinking fat people experience a whole lot of politeness.

I remember ages ago a thread about magnums (the ice lollies) & the amount of posters saying that they can't even manage one. Too rich, too sickly etc. Whereas a lot of posters (myself included) professed to scoffing the whole box

Some people don't have a sweet tooth and do find Magnum's overly rich and sickly though. I'm one of them. I also rarely order a dessert when out for a meal.

It isn't that I don't enjoy food, or have hang ups about it, or always eat healthily (I've been known to eat an entire six pack of crisps while slobbing in front of the TV of an evening), I just prefer savouries. A cheese board is much more of a pleasure to me than a cake or chocolate.

MN, and indeed the whole of society, demonstrate that people feel extremely free to comment on overweight people

But so do slim people. They get insidious comments often, from is that all you're eating, have you an eating disorder, you'll waste away etc.

But because being slim is seen as desirable it's deemed ok to comment.

Basically people shouldn't comment on each other's food choices and size unless it's someone you've very close to and know the recipient will either welcome the comment or has a significant issue and a discussion needs to be had.

Commenting out of bitchyness isn't ok.

I remember ages ago a thread about magnums (the ice lollies) & the amount of posters saying that they can't even manage one. Too rich, too sickly etc. Whereas a lot of posters (myself included) professed to scoffing the whole box blush

I would struggle with one too. But perhaps I could eat more crisps than you. Or more meat. Or whatever. People just have different tastes and eating habits.

My father is always going on about how much I eat and that he could “never” eat as much as me. I remember him also tut tutting me for eating chocolate dipped strawberries once before trotting out the old “A minute on the lips and lifetime on the hips”. I’m 5ft7 and about 52kg. He is overweight and has a terrible diet.

My mother can’t make her mind up about my eating habits - claiming at times I “never eat”, while other times calling me “porky”. She’s quick to dole out nasty comments about “fat and ugly people” she encounters. Have no idea what her issue is. I don’t obsess about my weight, and I think my portion sizes and food choices are generally fine.

The real issue here and in a lot of these cases lies with the people who feel the need to comment about what other people do. Unless it’s extreme under or overeating, it’s more likely the problem is with themselves. Without owning that they won’t sort out their own disordered eating.

The reason people are upset with this is due to the feelings it brings within you, maybe due to the past as well. If you think about it it is a mental health illness really- anorexia or orthorexia- so maybe more kindness and understanding is required perhaps

However it can seriously mess up the people around you as well with disordered eating as well, balance is required and I guess working on that yourself and ignoring the comments / feeling sorry for the person involved as it must not be a nice place to be

I mean, if you need to have to restrict food to make you feel good / better than others I guess that is due to low self esteem. Binging on food can also be about filling a need / low self esteem. I really think that can be at the heart of it. Maybe that can help to realise that perhaps. It is not coming from a healthy place