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To not have to tend to the pets on an evening?

66 replies

MrNobody · 29/11/2019 23:18

I do it daily. Every day. DD aged 9 wanted a pet, and we got a bonded pair of rescue rodents.

She can't be arsed and clearly the novelty has worn off. Yes I should do something about that. But as an adult I accept responsibility for the pets.

But to tell DP to do it so I could get on with shower /wash hair etc and to be told no, he never signed up for this (having a pet), the only circumstances where he would do it is if I was ill, and that DD should do it.

I said so I can't ask for help with the pets? No he said, he doesn't get help when he cuts the grass for example, or when he fed the wild birds throughout the winter.

Aibu for thinking fuck him!

OP posts:
HouseworkAvoider10 · 30/11/2019 00:26

I think your DD is the problem.
If she does naff all around the house, then take everything off her till she helps out.

sillysmiles · 30/11/2019 00:26

Are you sure the proper advice is to clean them daily-it seems too much as you are taking their smell away just as they they gotten the place smelling as it should- from their pov.

Remember what is clean to us could just be adding stress to them. I'd check the welfare guidelines

Inebriati · 30/11/2019 00:29

I'm always worried by men who think that looking after animals or children is optional.

1forAll74 · 30/11/2019 00:30

I am sorry that your daughter won't deal with her pets. I had two rabbits at her age, and my Mother absolutely made me look after them.and always attend to all the jobs they entailed.

What do you think your daughter would say,if you told her that you will give the pets to someone else. ?

MrNobody · 30/11/2019 00:31

The liners stay in for a few days at a time. About once a week they get washed.

Once all poops are scooped, new poops are produced. Their poop and pee is never far away from them. Pee gets wicked away but you can still smell it. They scent mark regularly.....

They tend to popcorn the most when being released in a 100% cleaned out cage. Majority of the time I just replace half of the liners and leave older peed on ones in until they are due for a clean.

OP posts:
Dazedandconfused10 · 30/11/2019 00:32

Err Dd is the problem here. They're her pets make her step up.

MrNobody · 30/11/2019 00:36

Dp told her tonight he'd get the rehomed if she didn't see to the pigs.

So she did but make an arse of it.

OP posts:
Dazedandconfused10 · 30/11/2019 00:37

So rehome...

ATowelAndAPotato · 30/11/2019 00:42

If you have female GP’s, they are generally messier than males. They don’t care!! If you have fleece liners, then invest in a cheap wet/dry DustBuster- you can poo pick very easily! Then just change the liner twice a week. Feeding/changing water takes 5 mins also. That’s the “chores”.

Playing/interacting is not a chore, it’s a joy!

Regardless of whether it’s you or DD (a whole separate issue) you need to reframe what you are thinking of as chores.

Pipandmum · 30/11/2019 00:46

Just say to her that she either properly helps or they go back. If she cant be bothered and you dont want then that's it.
Personally I think your partner could help every once in a while but he's made his stand. Now make yours.

BestOption · 30/11/2019 01:04


You’re being a bit dramatic! He’s not leaving them outside in the snow to starve. He said no to cleaning them out.

I don’t see why he should do it if he said before they got them that he didn’t want them/the hassle/the responsibility.

Not should he have to be the one to make the DD do it if he wasn’t fully on board with getting them.

...and I say that as someone who fully takes on the responsibility of any pets the children are allowed to get. But if my DH allowed them a pet against my better judgement, he’d definitely be the one chasing the children to look after them & picking up the slack!

Italiangreyhound · 30/11/2019 01:16

It seems to me that your dd is quite lazy and that is quite normal! But your dh seems to resent the fact you asked for help. That doesn't seem fair.

However, it is tough if you let your dd get the pets against his better judgement.

I'd say that maybe you need to re-evaluate who looks after the pets and if it is you, then allow for that.

y dd had a hamster at a younger age and I always had to help her. She now has other pets at 15 and she does it all. 9 is an odd, in between age - for responsibility, IMHO.

Good luck. Thanks

CSIblonde · 30/11/2019 01:36

Your DD needs consequences for not looking after them. (no Ipad or no TV etc). She wanted them. And yes, at her age, you'll still need to check she's done it properly. Doing chores we see as boring etc is part of life skills she needs to learn.

o0 · 30/11/2019 01:44

Ours get cleaned daily too and a full clean every 4 days. The do need poop patrol done daily. You do sound like you’re taking excellent care of them. They steal your heart!

I am definitely harsh when it comes to pets and you might have to start being tough on your DD too. No computer/pocket money etc is she doesn't help. Half pocket money or half computer time if she helps but half arses it.

Preggosaurus9 · 30/11/2019 02:05

So DP's contribution is to be the disciplinarian for DD. Sounds fair enough since she doesn't respond to you laying down the law.

Bit awkward that you are now attached to them and say you can't possibly rehome them, which makes the threat to DD empty. Empty threats are not good for discipline now are they..

ReanimatedSGB · 30/11/2019 02:12

I wonder if the main problem is that your DP does far less domestic work than you, combined with the fact that you seem to have a tendency to create extra work for yourself. Your pets will not explode if they don't get their shit shovelled every couple of hours. Your DD is 9 so she is not going to be desperately conscientous about chores, but it sounds as though you want her to do more domestic shitwork than her father does...

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