AIBU to ask what the worst Secret Santa gift is that you ever received?

[cluck57]

Mine was an empty cardboard box wrapped up.

@BeverlyLincolnScripts I don't know why but I laughed so hard at that, that I woke husband up! 😂😂😂

A karma sutra t towel and penis shaped pasta, ihad young children at the time and why on earth this person thought they were so "me" i will never know

Years ago we went to an ex partner's cousin's just after Christmas. Most of the family was there and all involved on secret Santa.
What did I get? Some baubles for the Christmas tree. A few days after Christmas. Shit.

A few years ago my boss (who is very straight laced and proper) got female sexy lingerie. He's a man.

The worst one was actually last year, I got a pair of socks that were way too small (think children's size).

I had a pretty new shit boss. But the team always did ss properly. Nice thoughtful gifts.
This boss (female) decided to buy a candle in the shape of a huge pair of breasts, because she thought she had picked me. I would have been really upset by this because I am burdened by huge breasts and really I am the last person to have that funny.
However what was far worse was that she had actually picked someone totally flat chested. And this person was given the gift to take home by the organiser who was oblivious.
That went well.

A really poorly manufactured Michael Buble calendar. It looked like it had been home printed & stapled to a piece of card very wonkily but appeared to have been bought for sale!

I don't really like Michael Buble and it was one of those calendars where the point is the picture, with no space to write on the dates. Pointless to me!

I’m lucky enough to work in an environment where no one would consider intimate / sexual gifts appropriate for a secret Santa but one year I did receive a Newton’s cradle in a battered old box wrapped in crumpled paper. Since then I’ve always had the fear about having to open in front of others and prefer to do it at home on my own!

At work the present was meant to be £10+

I received a £1 santa teddy from the pound shop :(

A half full tube of biscuits. They weren't even nice biscuits.

You see, I really don't get it. SS forces people to buy a gift for a limited amount of money, for someone they don't really know. So what can you expect other than boring smellies, chocolate or plastic tat someone has bought in a desperate attempt to be funny because they don't know what else to get for Barbara in accounts?

Clearly I don't mean inappropriate gifts, of course people should be sensible and not be lecherous twats. But I struggle to think of something to buy for family, let alone someone I work with.

I haven't had to participate for years, but the last time I received a SS gift was in about 2001. I had horses at the time, and I got a leather camel ornament, unwrapped, with a post-it note sellotaped to it which said "Sorry I couldn't find a horse".

I thought it was inspired and rather amusing. I can't remember what I gave my SS at the time, I think it was a scarf.

Work secret Santa, me 7m pregnant with my 2nd - a black thong with pink pompoms and the legend "make my pussy purr". Mind boggling, I suppose at least it would fit under the bump!

Work secret Santa, me a single parent with 2 young boys at home - a calender of semi naked (or may have had full frontal shots) fire fighters or similar. Where exactly am I to hang this? In the office (professional services)? At home in view of my 6yo & 3yo?

I no longer participate.

National trust book from 2 years back issuance with the page where they put free parking label torn out.

Not Secret Santa as such, but my boss used to buy us something at Christmas ( there were 3 of us at my level, and we all ran teams of about 10). Usually we had a bottle of whatever spirit was our thing, or nice wine etc.

This particular year my boss approached my desk carrying an ordinary bottle of wine - we used wine sometimes as team prizes so I thought he was bringing it over for that. But no, we’d had a new staff member join (same level as me) & boss had failed to get a “decent” present for them, so had nabbed MY present and just got me something from the cupboard! CF !

Good god some of these tales are chilling. Surely giving women half your age underwear can be interpreted as sexual harassment? Especially if you then follow up to enquire whether she liked it or not

Good grief some of these are heinous. In general over the years secret Santa at my work has been good, small team know most people etc. You either got something personal or sweets/decent smellies all good. However last year I clearly got the “shit I forgot, time to wrap something from
The cupboard” present which was a box of John Lewis Prosecco mince pies. We have a £6 maximum and it didn’t come close. Boss decided then no more SS so this year we are doing a reverse advent calendar. A much better idea.

Nothing. I was mortified and felt ridiculously sorry for myself.
I’d only started in the June but by Christmas I’d made friends and was settled. I got a name to do for and clearly someone got me BUT they never bothered and the organiser clearly missed that there was a present short.
We all gathered around the office tree with vino at about 5pm on the last working day and the presents were given out one by one. Got to the end and nothing for me. I was 40 but it just felt like I was that child nobody wanted on their team.
I’ve ‘looked after’ Secret Santa several times since then and always make sure everyone is covered.

I've drawn my new boss this year, I've only been in the team a month and don't know her well. I've gone generic: a nice scarf, some sweets I know she likes and a mug for the office. Boring but not offensive at least!

@cluck57 so many questions - did you ever find out who got that for you? Why did they? Was it just a undecorated one or did they try to make it look like something? What did you say??

I was the giver of a horror gift. We used to all put our names in a hat with a suggestion for a £10 gift. All very sensible and easily managed, except that I pulled out the name of the bloke who asked for a “surprise”. I panicked and bought him a torch. I don’t know why. Wine or chocs would have been so easy. I didn’t realise quite how weird it was until he opened it and there was a muted gasp around the room. I didn’t admit that it was me.

I don’t think a torch is that bad. At least it’s useful. Unless you got him a fleshlight by mistake!

I had joined a new team 3 weeks before Christmas. Still feeling very new and very shy I went to the team meeting. All teams have an hour off to do a buffet and exchange secret Santa’s. I got a book of ”images not to masturbate to” from a guy in his 50’s who thought he was absolutely hilarious.

Still not as bad as when my ‘friend’ made a collection of items that contain an ingredient I’m allergic too. All wrapped up and she was chortling madly like she was hilarious. The allergy is so severe that I carry an epipen. The manager took one look grabbed the whole lot and escorted her out the room. She didn’t mean it maliciously just thought it was funny. Manager tried to get her dismissed for it. Wasn’t exactly a festive afternoon after that.

Nipple tassels. I have inverted nipples so couldn’t even give DH a laugh.

Something I’m not even sure what it was - looked like a cross between a necklace and a tie or might have been a belt. Not new, no label.

I posted this on the other thread but I once got (edible) nipple tassels too. I was fairly new and quite quiet so I was very embarrassed. I gave them to my mate who is a burlesque dancer.

The giver made herself known (my boss's PA), she thought it was hilarious so I politely laughed along. I worked have been freaked out if given by a man though.

A tits salt and pepper set alongside a cock ring.....what the fuck?

@honeylulu yes my giver of nipple tassels was also a woman. Can’t imagine any man I’ve ever worked with thinking that remotely appropriate.