AIBU to ask what the worst Secret Santa gift is that you ever received?

[cluck57]

Mine was an empty cardboard box wrapped up.

A Neal's Yard gift set which had expired at least a year before I was gifted it.

I got an ‘IOU’ chippy lunch voucher. Fab. I love food.

The fucker resigned THE NEXT DAY and up and left the same day!

I still get pissed off whenever someone mentions a chippy lunch.

A colleague of mine got 'diet cutlery', which consisted a wooden spoon, fork and knife all with a large hole in the middle. Very insensitive considering she concerned with her weight or very inspired??!!
I have better things to spend my £10, this time of the year and ironically enough I am always called a killjoy and a scrooge by the recipient of the diet cutlery present.

£5 worth of scratch off lottery tickets. I won £1, but couldn't be bothered to go and claim it.

Last year, I got a calendar. A 2018 calendar. So I had about 15 days left to use it. It wasn't used, it was brand new in packaging. Obviously, an unwanted gift the year before. Kandinsky.

Neither of these were mine but one of the worst ones was in my office a few years ago and caused very bad feeling amongst one of the teams. A bald headed man (who had been bald for many years) received a shower cap. He eventually tracked down the donor. We didn't do Secret Santas for several years after that.

The other one was in the office of a friend of mine. Her boss sent an email out something along the lines of "Dear Santa, I am in the midst of renovating my house so please don't give me chocolates or smelly things. I would really like some tools from B&Q". I presume he said exactly which tools he wanted. I think the budget at the time was £5.

I was 18 at the time and a guy mid 40’s bought me a set of jingley balls on string that you put inside your *** apparently they are meant to vibrate as you walk and give you some kind of orgasm! I honestly never knew what they were and never tried them! Looking back he was a filthy fucker 😂😂

Two digestive biscuits wrapped in cooking foil. I assume the person had forgotten all about it, and just put in the biscuits he'd brought to have with his tea.

It wasn't a shit gift, as such, it was a box of chocolates. Nice enough, but the person clearly didn't know me very well and couldn't be bothered to find anything out about me to see if they could find anything I'd actually like. I could have had a dairy allergy for all they knew... That year I really put a lot of effort into my SS and I guess it wasn't the same person, but it did make me feel like "why should I bother""? I've never done a Secret Santa since.

A set of chocolate Anus 🤣🙈

A plastic bracelet and plastic ring from poundland, the kind of thing a child might wear. I don't wear jewellery at all. I literally just tossed it straight in my waste paper bin and carried on working.

Oh and also (I sound so ungrateful, I know) I joined a SS with some ladies I thought I could trust, we did a "likes and dislikes" thing. I said I didn't want smellies as I'm allergic to a lot of it. Christmas day, I unwrapped my SS and it was a clearly re-gifted smelly set.

Actually I did take a photo before I tossed them, here they are.

3 years I got nothing.
2 years ago I got a book that I had previously noted on the "swap a book" bookshelf next to the printer. It was dog eared, yellowed, and creased as a linen shirt on a long haul flight. It was printed in 1974. Perhaps they felt because it was related to my area of work that it was appropriate. Thankfully I was on leave when the team gave out secret Santa gifts so when I was given it in the January, I quickly put it in my bag and opened it at home. I'll admit I cried. I was so bloody hurt by that book and what it implied I meant to my team.

Last year I tried to put it behind me as I was in a new team and again agreed to partake, I got moisturiser of unknown brand or origin. There was nothing wrong with the moisturiser but it was in no way personal or thought out. I had spent ages getting a gift for a colleague that was so personal and meant a lot to her.

This year, I've declined. Instead I will buy myself something with the £10 budget, that I know I will like and wouldn't usually treat myself to.

The usual lazy presents of smellies and last year a wine glass and white wine (I dint drink wine) ive pulled myself out and kept quiet so I’ve had a lovely new water bottle

Last year DD had a bath bomb that she was allergic to... The person that gave it to her not only knew this, but also got one for everyone else in the secret Santa.

@cluck57

Got one of these as a Secret Santa gift about 10 years ago.

A SPERM BANK! 😂

I still have it somewhere (in the attic I think!)

An ugly old fashioned brooch that had obviously once belonged to someone's grandmother

I got an enormous fold out paper Xmas decoration that was so flimsy it all tore as I was trying to open it out. Straight in the bin. This years SS is hopefully much better as we’ve all done online ss wish lists.

Fake sick. Apparently it was meant to be a sick joke. I was a bit hurt (I was much younger) and embarrassed.

A dusty candle inside a 2nd-hand tin shaped like a Heinz ketchup bottle.

Not me but a colleague (who was a vicar's wife) got a pair of jelly boobs....

l once got a sex manual, some chocolate body paint, and some chocolate condoms.
l found out later that the person who bought it was someone l was good friends with, and who knew my marriage was in a really bad way. l chucked the condoms and body paint, and hid the book. My husband found it later on. Went mad and accused me of all sorts. l still have no idea what she was thinking.

Not mine, but one of the young girls we worked with (she was about 20 at the time) got a pair of red sequin nipple tassels.
We found out later that a man in his late 50s had bought them. lt was beyond creepy and we didn't dare tell her.

A pink plastic shoe which held a mini bottle of cheap sparkling wine. I was pregnant.