Selling clothing I gave her ?

[Buttercup1980]

AIBU to be annoyed that a friend who I gave baby clothes to for free ..... is now SELLING them on ??

This may be a daft question but are you absolutely sure she’s selling them herself? I only ask as my very generous friend has given me a lot of kids clothing over time and said to pass onto charity when I’m finished. I donate them to a woman’s refuge and recently discovered they often sell them to raise funds for the refuge, I can imagine if my friend happened upon them on eBay she could jump to the same conclusion.

I'm a believer in paying it forward.

If someone gave me some baby things free then I'd pass them on for free if still in good condition.
If I bought it then I'd consider selling it as a bundle or passing it on to someone else.

I couldn't get annoyed if a top I'd given for free was sold along with a range of other things. As PP said it hard to remember what was a bundle or a gift. But mass selling things I've given would be a sign to me that they're a bit selfish and I would rethink gifting to them in future

I gave them to her instead because I'm kind

You need to BE kind then...and think about the fact that she probably needed the money.

Yes it’s cheeky imo...if I pay it forward then I think it would be nice if that person could too!! What harm would it be for her to donate them or pass them on if they cost her nothing!?? This is exactly what’s wrong with the world imo

Cheeky

I think that's really bad form. She should not be making a financial profit from your generosity. The polite thing to do would be to offer you half of any money she makes - surely most people would do that? It's the gesture more than the money itself.

@Buttercup1980 YANBU. Would have pissed me off a LOT, and I would never give her anything else again, like ever!

It is cheeky of her really, she got them for free!

Its just not cricket.

YANBU.

Exceptionally bad form from your friend.

I did this (but before you shout me!) I didn’t wNt then but was kindly given them - no one I knew wanted or needed them and you can’t give baby clothes to charity shops where I live so I put them on eBay just to get rid! I felt terrible and gave her a game for her son and had originally offered money for the clothes - I was too embarrassed to ask is she wanted them back.

I think this is bad form too.
I'd offer to either give it back or if selling would offer to split proceeds.
Am too lazy to ebay, normally take things to charity shop.

Friends that use charity donations to make money get under my skin.
Assumed that they would donate to the next but assumed wrong.
I wouldn't bother challenging her though.

Of course she is legally entitled, but legal entitlement and good manners are no necessarily the same think, Yanbu to feel annoyed and judge her in a negative light in respect of her behaviour which in this case. Is poor.

If she said she wanted them and sold them on straight away, then that's off.
If she'd used them and then they'd been grown out of, if you'd given them to her I think they'd be hers to do as she pleases with.
If you wanted them back in the latter circumstance then you should have made it clear it was a loan.

If you've given something away then it's no longer yours and it's up to the person who receives the gift what they do with them when they've finished with them.

I have a load of children's clothes, some have been gifted, some passed down and some bought myself. I don't have the time or memory to sort through which is which.

I would be extremely pissed off at this.

I gave it as a kind gesture and would expect it to be passed in similar fashion or handed back.

I didn't give it so my sister/friend would profit from my generosity.

NOT on IMO.

I have been the very grateful recipient of a lot of baby clothes from a couple of friends. No way would I sell any of it. Some special bits were returned to the original owner (at their request) and the rest will be passed onto other mums (either to friends or given away free on FB market if I don't know anyone who needs stuff) and/or donated to the local midwife unit. I would never sell anything that had been given to me. It feels so wrong to profit rather than pay it forward!

Very bad form. She should be at least giving you half the money. I’d be pissed off. She sounds very self absorbed.

My SIL gave me loads of lovely baby clothes. I’d never dream of selling them on. I washed them and gave them back to her if they were still okay.

Did you give them to her? Or did you give them to her with strings attached? Once you gave them to her, they are hers and for her to dispose of as she wants to.

If you dont want her to sell them, did you make that clear?

I'm usually in the minority in these types of threads but I agree with you. As a friend, i would have offered it back to you first before selling! Technically she hasn't done anything wrong as you gave them to her and they weren't a loan, however as friends i think morally she is wrong.

Really she should have asked what you wanted and/or given to a baby bank as she's had the money saved by using them. I've been given lots by friends, some quite sellable and have always asked if they want them back. They didn't and i gave them away to various mums and a baby bank.

Its rude

Very rude.
Don't give her anything else.