Selling clothing I gave her ?

[Buttercup1980]

AIBU to be annoyed that a friend who I gave baby clothes to for free ..... is now SELLING them on ??

It depends.
Selling straight on - cheeky.
Selling if you said they were just a loan - cheeky.
Selling having used the items, and they are now surplus to requirements - not cheeky
Selling if you’d made it clear you were giving them in the first place and had no expectation of return - not cheeky

I think it’s pretty rude.

I’ve been given loads of hand me downs but I always ask whether they want them back or if I should pass them on again. I wouldn’t sell them!

Selling is a bit cheeky, giving them away would have been alright, but if it was me I would have asked you to make sure you didn't want any of them back.

Hmm I think if you get them for free, you should give them away as well. I had a rule for second hand stuff for my DC - if I got them for free, I'd pass them on for free. If I paid for it, it was fair game to sell.

Hmm well my sister gave me loads of stuff which I'm now selling, including selling my own stuff, however I'm splitting whatever I make 50/50 with her regardless of who owned it. She wouldn't take any money at the time of giving.

If she doesn't have anyone to give them to for free, it is worth trying to sell but she should prob give you something too.

She should pay it forward.

She got free use of what is obviously good quality stuff so she should give that to someone else. No law has been broken but morally it sucks and I wouldnt be giving her anything else "Oh I took a leaf from your book and Im selling it! I can let you have the next size up bundle for £XX if you're interested?"

I’m kind of on the fence with this one.
How did you give them to her?

The reason I’m asking is because I posted on here a few months ago asking if I was being unreasonable to be annoyed at the sheer amount of second hand stuff I was being given. At one point I had a newborn and 5 bin bags worth of clothes to go through!! Also no charity shops close by (I’d have to go to another town). I should add that we weren’t struggling for money, nor had I told anyone we were.
My friends were all being lovely, but it was an annoyance, especially when I don’t have loads of space.

A Lot of people on here told me to sell! (I ended up not, I found a charity that did collections)

If its on fb, comment on it. I do think it's cf

Ooh I had this. I was given loads of clothes, paid for some but the others was given for free (same person). I just took what I really wanted to keep for myself, let her go through what she really wanted, and now they're up for sale and I won't be sharing the money 🤷‍♀️ I think that's the best way to do it as my friend knows I'll be selling but she's taken what she wants first

Yeah people should pay it forward but don’t have to. She can sell them if she wants. They were gifted to her, I doubt she realised there were conditions

If you give something as a gift then you can not make it obvious you are pissed off if they get sold on. Annoying I agree but is it worth falling out over?

I have given (not lent) sums of money to family who were struggling financially and then found they had spent the money on what I would consider frivolous things but I just kept my mouth shut. I didn't help out again though.

An acquaintance buys charity shop clothes (so do I) then sells them on for a profit on those online buy and sell sites. I put mine back into the charity shops when no longer needed. This is why I get annoyed when pestered by charity fund raisers in the street. I donate hundreds of things to charity shops which is one way of fund raising plus I BUY lots of charity stuff so I am donating twice over. Had a little moan there didn't I.

Nothing terribly wrong with selling on and a good way to make a bit of cash. If I have stuff I don't want I donate to charity. Don't know if I would consider selling anything which was given as a gift. I haven't up til now.

Those baby clothes were second hand though and no contract was signed or agreement made to hand them back after being no longer useful. I do wonder how many times baby clothes can be passed around before they are no longer new looking. Maybe she sold them on before they got too worn out?

It wouldn't bother me much, but she wouldn't get anything else.

I cant stand this, to me it just smacks of stinginess, penny pinching & utter lack of generosity.

If you are given something for free, its a bonus. You would have had to manage financially if not given it so you dont sell it on, you pay it forward.

There are people out there that sell everything that passes through their graspy paws , and they are ime not the poorest people.

Chalk it up to experience, and don’t offer her anything else.

She probably really needs the money, because selling on eBay is now far more fucking hassle than it used to be. Unless you actually asked her to give them back when she had finished them (in which case you lent them to her, you didn't give them to her), they became her property, not yours. And it's therefore none of your business what she does with them.

(And I am so tired of people whining that other people 'shouldn't' sell on stuff they were given. For a lot of us, these days, there is no spare money and anything you can sell gets sold, because it's that or no money on the meter, no food for tea, or another round of late-payment charges.)

I would never sell someone's stuff without offering it back first. Even if it was originally clear the items were to keep. Weirdly I would donate to charity or pass to another friend without checking.

If a friend sold items I have given i would probably give the benefit of the doubt that they didnt remember it was originally mine as people get many gifts.

In the nicest way @SleepingStandingUp
(Genuinely don’t want to be patronising but this common misuse of words puzzles me).

Brought is the past tense and past participle of the verb to bring, which means “to carry someone or something to a place or person.” Bought is the past tense and past participle of the verb to buy, which means “to obtain something by paying money for it.

So you’ve bought something, not brought it.

I hope you’re not offended and this changes your use of brought and bought.

Also OP I agree, it’s really bad form to sell things that have been given to you for free, without at least asking if they want them back first.

If someone has benefitted from kindness and generosity, the moral thing to do is ‘ pay it forward’. Unfortunately some people are too self centred. I’d not gift to that person in future.

^This. You now know not to gift her anything ever again.

I have been given things that I know have a value after I have finished with them (not baby things, more furniture). When I need them gone I have always said to the donor. 'Would you like xxx back, if not I will sell it/give it away on Fleabook (or similar).

99 times out of a hundred I have been told to do what I want with them. One said, 'if you sell it then send me the money'. I asked him to come and fetch it or it was going to the tip. He declined. I sold it for a fiver and donated the money to charity.

I had that with household goods/furniture when I was packing my Parent's place. I thought the person who was cleaning, needed certain things (single mum, she had complained her parents wouldn't give her furniture that was in her bedroom when younger, for her daughter) so I offered them to her which was accepted.

Turns out she sold them straight away.

For the life of me I don't understand why she just couldn't say ''no thanks'' if she didn't need (or like) them for herself...

Jellybeans, I think you have just saved my sanity.

I would have thought it would be better to re gift them, rather than sell them on.

I was given quite a few bits and I'll be using them again for second baby and then they'll probably go to charity unless any friends want them. I imagine some will still be in reasonably good conditions as newborns grow fast so don't get super worn quickly.

I gave my friend £400/500 worth of stuff, baby chairs, Moses basket, clothes (newborn to 2 years all brand new), play mats, brand new in the box breast pumps ect..and she sold it all

Sometimes you can't remember what came from where, which eBay, Facebook or friend bundle it may have been, so do you suggest she doesn't sell any of It? She may need the money and you were happy to give it away initially.

It's not a crime but I do believe in paying kindness forward. I haven't had to buy my daughter clothes for ages because they are all hand me downs. I always send them on to friends for free. It's just nice isn't it!