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Original poster

When do children ‘stop believing’?

73 replies

Bee1511 · 29/11/2019 07:08

In Father Christmas?

DS is 8 has autism and isn’t as mature as his peers so I can still see him believing for a few more years at least..

Also, if he found out he would probably blab to DD who is only just 4..

Some of his peers seemed to have stopped believing already!

What’s the typical age?

I was discussing this with OH. He said he ‘guessed’ at a young age as he had sneaked at all his presents. My mum was quite good at keeping going. I think I was about 10/11!

Also, how much does Santa bring in your house? Generally here the vast majority is from us. Santa brings a stocking and maybe one other gift. I don’t want Santa getting all the credit 🤣

OP posts:
WaterSheep · 29/11/2019 07:13

Working in a school I would say it's pretty common for children to start questioning around age 7, and stop believing around 8 - 10 years. Although there is no set age, there will be people who believe for longer, and others who stop at a younger age.

The most important thing is if they stop believing then they don't spoil it for others.

sunnyshowers · 29/11/2019 07:13

My dd was 12...we had to tell her. She was disappointed but i figured she knew till her beautiful face looked up and said ""where do the presents come from..omg i ve asked for so much all these years" shes a little dote and now shes "santa" for the younger kids. Ds is 9 and sceptical...its something your never ready for

Bluerussian · 29/11/2019 07:21

I would think most stop believing by six or in that year anyway. I wouldn't worry too much about them finding out from older children, that's how it usually happens anyway and it's not fair to tell the older ones off for disillusioning the 'babies' because, let's face it, Fr Christmas doesn't exist and they are only telling the truth. It always strikes me that parents get more upset about it than the kids!

Far better to just say that it's a magical story and fun to pretend but not make such a big deal out of it as if it's the truth.

speakout · 29/11/2019 07:21

Never.

I encouraged a slow idea of father christmas as a mythical creature who loives in our imagination- a avery easy concept for children to grasp.
A child's world is quite abstract in terms of what is real and what isn't. Fairies, unicorns are common place in the playful awareness of a young one.
There was no one moment that thay stopped believing, rather a slow process of understanding the realms of which world he inhabits.
My youngest us 19, and on christmas eve we still press our noses to the window looking for santa magic amongst the twinkling stars.
Christmas time- particulary christmas eve- still crackles with the magic of father christmas in our home, we all hang stockings- even my 86 yo mother leaves out a carrot for Rudolph, and every christmas morning our stockings are stuffed with goodies.
What isn't magical about that!

LolaSmiles · 29/11/2019 07:21

Usually by mid junior school. To be honest, I think it's better to come clean when they start asking questions.

Anyone can be Santa because it's in the kindness of giving. Knowing a random man doesn't come into your house/down the chimney doesn't ruin Christmas. For what it's worth, secondary aged students y9-11 are some of the biggest defenders of santa. They know he isn't real but play along with the magic.

Sometimes on here I find that some people want to continue santa more for their benefit than the children's and come up with elaborate stories and explanations etc because they're not ready for it to end.

sashh · 29/11/2019 07:24

In my case someone told my brother santa was dead so my mum had to tell him, 'the truth', he was 5 and I was 3.

When I was about 7 or 8 in the middle of, "Look what santa got me..." my brother asked me if I believed, I said 'no' but I thought he did. We both decided not to tell our parents.

I think year 7 is the deciding factor, if you still believe in year 7 then you are going to get the piss taken.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 29/11/2019 07:25

I didn't believe past about 4 because I had a lot of upheaval around then and it made me cynical, and my older siblings bitter so they didn't care about keeping the magic alive for me.

They managed to do it for my younger sister til she was about 10 though. Bastards.

missyB1 · 29/11/2019 07:27

According to Mumsnet no child should be believing past the age of 7 or 8! My 10 year old still believes and I have no problem with that. He actually feels sorry for any of his classmates that don’t.
I probably will tell him before he starts senior school next year.

GaaaaarlicBread · 29/11/2019 07:28

I think I was about 10, so year 6 ish . I think it is different for everyone and children vary x

Nicosia78 · 29/11/2019 07:29

My elder dd figured it out at 4 shortly after telling me: ‘Mummy, you and Father Christmas use the same wrapping paper.’

My younger dd lasted until around 6 or 7, I think.

stucknoue · 29/11/2019 07:34

Dd1 was told at the age of 11 (at secondary) by her younger sister that we were Santa and she didn't believe her! Dd2 had known for 2-3 years at that point but they were having a row dd1 is autistic

StillCoughingandLaughing · 29/11/2019 07:35

I think I knew by the age of about seven or eight, but ‘let’ myself believe until I was about 10, if that makes sense.

A few years ago a colleague told me that her 11 year-old daughter had tearfully asked her outright if Santa was real. My colleague had been really reluctant to tell her the truth, was ‘heartbroken’ that it was finally over etc. I must admit I was surprised at an 11 year-old having to ask and for her to be crying over the answer.

Bluerussian · 29/11/2019 07:46

Add message | Report | Message posterspeakout Fri 29-Nov-19 07:21:23
Never.

I encouraged a slow idea of father christmas as a mythical creature who loives in our imagination- a avery easy concept for children to grasp.
A child's world is quite abstract in terms of what is real and what isn't. Fairies, unicorns are common place in the playful awareness of a young one.
....
Sounds about right.

Friends of mine never taught about Fr Christmas except as a mythical story, fun to pretend. I think they were right.

custardbear · 29/11/2019 07:47

My DS was 3 and said mummy I think Santa isn't real and you and daddy bring my presents .... DD is 11 and hasn't mentioned Santa for a while so wonder if she now knows 😉
DS, even though he told us they at 3 seems to have a belief still ... not sure if it's real or not, he's 7 now

TwatCat · 29/11/2019 07:56

ShockShockShock
I'm 38 21 and I still believe!!!

chemenger · 29/11/2019 07:59

I’ve had a text from dd at university to remind me that she still believes.

TwatCat · 29/11/2019 08:03

I remember an instance when I was about 7, my uncle told me that Father Christmas died the year before, falling off a roof.

He did something similar to my cousin when the cattle had the TB? thing. Maybe it wasn't TB, but when they weren't allowed to move livestock. There was loads of disinfectant pools for cars to drive through around here to stop any spread. Anyway, uncle told cousin that the reindeer weren't allowed in so Santa wasn't coming that year.

thesunwillout · 29/11/2019 08:05

@speakout I love you!
@chemenger I love your daughter!

BillieEilish · 29/11/2019 08:06

DD and all her friends believe (11), we are in Spain so half the class believe in the 3 Kings 6th Jan, half believe in Father Christmas and they argue about it!

It's quite acceptable not to believe but risky present wise Grin

Brimful · 29/11/2019 08:09

Santa never existed for me; we were told who had given each present and Santa was just a mythical character on TV/films.

stripeypillowcase · 29/11/2019 08:09

as soon as they talk to their friends on the school playground.
especially if there is a number that don't celebrate christmas.

so about 4-5

by that time dc notice that there is a grotto on every corner as well...

Boohooyouho · 29/11/2019 08:11

I forgot to put the lock back on my present cupboard this week and my 8 year old found them all. He already suspected but was too scared to say he didn’t believe in case he didn’t get any presents. I’ve asked him not so spoil it for his little sister but I’m not holding my breath.

Wishforsnow · 29/11/2019 08:21

My dd is in year 6 and believes so do the rest of her year

zingally · 29/11/2019 08:24

I stopped believing at 6 or 7, when I suddenly realised that father Christmas had the same handwriting as my mum!!

I wasn't upset in the slightest. It didn't stop the magic of Christmas in any way. And even now, many decades later, I still get a bit teary-eyed when I see my first father Christmas of the year!

My nearly-10 year old niece still believes, which I can never quite decide is silly or adorable. Each to their own, but I think if she were mine, I'd be starting to burst the bubble for her now... I'd be a bit surprised if she comes out of this coming Christmas season with her belief still completely intact.

tillytrotter1 · 29/11/2019 08:31

I would say they stop believing a couple of years before you think, they're just edging their bets in case they're wrong!

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