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AIBU to feel manipulated?

61 replies

thatdamnwoman · 28/11/2019 21:36

Minor thing really but it's left me feeling ridiculously annoyed. A friend of mine (she's 10 years younger than me) persuaded me to buy a £30 ticket for a charity event in which several people I vaguely know are performing. They are my friend's mates, not mine. I've met some of them but don't really know them. The performance is being held in a city 60 miles away so I said I'd drive us there and back.

When the tickets came through it was a surprise to see that the whole event would be over by 8.30pm. We'd both assumed it would be a full evening of entertainment. She has arranged to go for drinks and food afterwards with the friends who are performing and will get a lift home with someone else. I was slightly stung by the fact that I hadn't been asked to go for a drink afterwards but they are mates and they don't know me and I'm quite a lot older than some of them so why would they invite me?

Now I've been contacted by one of those who'll be performing, a woman I've only met in passing, who has asked me to run her grandmother back home after the event. The grandmother lives halfway between the city where the event is being held and my home town. Gran clearly hasn't been invited for drinks either. It'll involve a detour of maybe 15 miles. Five minutes after that first message my friend, the one who got me into this, called to say she was sure I wouldn't mind taking Gran home.

I often give people lifts so I'm not sure why I mind so much on this occasion – but I do. Perhaps it's the hint of ageism: I'm too old to be welcome to the celebratory drinks but I can chauffeur Gran around. I'm sure, by the way, that Gran and I will get on fine – but AIBU to feel that I'm really not being given a chance to say no?

OP posts:

QueenofallIsee · 28/11/2019 21:38

It can it, sounds dull as dishwater! Amateur dramatics and over by 8pm? Bugger that


BloggersBlog · 28/11/2019 21:39

YANBU but at least you now know why you were invited Angry cheeky people


QueenofallIsee · 28/11/2019 21:39

I’d can it that should say - oops


OliviaBenson · 28/11/2019 21:43

Pull out op, I'd be annoyed. You have basically paid £30 for the privilege of being a taxi driver!


TowelNumber42 · 28/11/2019 21:44

I don't think you can give the lift. You see something has come up. You won't be able to make the charity event after all. They can keep your £30 of course because that was for the charity and it is spent now. Anyway, hope they all have a lovely time, sorry you can't be there, looking forward to seeing the photos. Byeeee.


Bluerussian · 28/11/2019 21:47

What TowelNumber42 said. Flipping cheek! I'm annoyed on your behalf. Soon be over though.



littlecabbage · 28/11/2019 21:48

What Towel said.


Butchyrestingface · 28/11/2019 21:49

Unless they’re 12 and you’re 22 (in which case, they shouldn’t be out on a school night) then I can’t see how a 10 year age gap could be any impediment to you all enjoying a night out together.

I’d sack them all off, including poor granny. It’s a shame, but you’re probably saving her from some interminable amateur production.


Lifeisabeach09 · 28/11/2019 21:49

Pisstakers!!! You've been taken advantage of.
Any chance you can attend the event then go somewhere else on your own (or other friends) afterwards? Bar, cinema???
Yes, your friend should have invited you for drinks after.
Say no to gran and tell them you've made plans.


thatdamnwoman · 28/11/2019 21:49

Thanks – yes, now I can see that my annoyance is around not only not having a good night out but also being a taxi service.

I'll think about dropping out but now, of course, I'm worrying about how Gran's going to get home if I don't take her...

OP posts:

areyouafraidofthedark · 28/11/2019 21:50

Definitely drop out and not your concern how a strangers gran gets home.


StrayWoman · 28/11/2019 21:50

I'd have D&V on the day of the event.


gamerchick · 28/11/2019 21:50

Eh? Course you can say no. Just say you can no longer make it. Keep the £30 as a donation and hope they have a lovely night.

Come on lass, find some cujones and throw them at her.


Lifeisabeach09 · 28/11/2019 21:50

Same way she's getting there but not your problem.


gamerchick · 28/11/2019 21:52

Gran is not your problem!


Justmuddlingalong · 28/11/2019 21:52

Gran's granddaughter can worry about her. Write off the £30 and fuck em all.


drinkygin · 28/11/2019 21:53

Absolute bloody cheek! You’ve been totally taken advantage of OP, sorry Angry I would drop out and I’d tell them why to be honest.


Knewmee · 28/11/2019 22:01

I wouldn’t go. It sounds tiring and dull. It’s not up to you to worry about someone else’s gran. Stay home, on the sofa, with a glass of wine, feet up and watch something relaxing on tv!


BumbleBeee69 · 28/11/2019 22:01

You've been stitched up like a kipper OP, pull out now and find a better friend Flowers


thatdamnwoman · 28/11/2019 22:03

I just have images of a frail 90-year-old when in fact she's probably a kick-ass gran a year or two older then me!

My partner (who doesn't do amateur performance-type stuff and thinks I'm an idiot for buying a ticket in the first place) can't see what the problem is. I'll be coming pretty close to Gran's town anyway, why not drop her off?

OP posts:

areyouafraidofthedark · 28/11/2019 22:04

Because you should cancel going to the whole thing!


TowelNumber42 · 28/11/2019 22:05

They will get gran home exactly the way they would have originally planned before someone had the bright idea of asking you to give a lift. Maybe, maybe her relative could drive her home and then come back for the rest of the evening. Or the relative pays for a taxi. I am sure they'll think of something.


TowelNumber42 · 28/11/2019 22:07

You'll spend the whole evening being cross as they all bond together while treating you like the staff. It will be an entire evening of being pissed off and feeling like a mug. Don't do it. Do something lovely with DH instead.


Jayaywhynot · 28/11/2019 22:11

I'm with everyone else, drop out, they're taking the piss


Chunkers · 28/11/2019 22:16

You’ll be longer in the car than at the event! I agree with Towel’s suggestion of a polite (with no wiggle room for objection) change of plans.

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