Not telling friend about their dream job advert?

[tequilasunrises]

OK so not me but a friend of mine (A) is really cross. A mutual friend (B) applied for a job within our (really really massive organisation) and got it. A is angry because it’s her dream location and job, but she didn’t see the advert or know that B was applying for anything.

She thinks that B should have told her about the job because they are close friends and B knows it’s her dream and she could have applied too. A thinks B has been snakey.

I said that if I was B I probably wouldn’t have told her either because it would increase the competition. A now thinks I’m a bit of a cow too.

So was B unreasonable?

Nope, you snooze you lose 😉

No B was not unreasonable it’s not their responsibility to alert A to job opportunities. A is being entitled

If its her dream job she should have alerts and searches going, massive sour grapes and childishness.

Surely if she was that keen she would have found the job advert herself?!

and if its Bs drean job she just has to suck it up???

She is being ridiculous if its that important you keep an eye out

Depends entirely how close they are!!

Really good close friends, support one another, socialise, basically part of one another’s lives - then A is right to be hurt.

Casual friends - no

They are pretty close friends, but both very ambitious. It’s also quite a rare job to come up.

What does pretty close mean? Work friends “close” or see one another outside of work? Families interact?

I’m just thinking that if it was one of my group of very close girlfriends (god mothers to our children; get together on new year day for a big families walk; they supported me massively when I was going through my divorce etc) I would be floored if they did this (not that they ever ever would!)

But a “close” work friend - B is being unreasonable to air her anger and hurt but that’s not to say she is wrong not to feel a flicker of hurt

No way
A needs to be responsible for her own search

A is a dreadful little entitled doughnut. Immature to the point of unbearable.

A is unreasonable. If she wants a new job it's her own responsibility to keep an eye out.

She'd likely have been in an even bigger strop if they'd both applied for that same job and B got it over her!

A is a dreadful little entitled doughnut.

What a lovely image.

Why did A miss the advert?

A. off sick with serious illness/bereavement etc. while advert up - B, if a good friend, should have told A.

A. simply missed the advert - B. has no obligation of friendship to tell A.

It’s also quite a rare job to come up.

If B knew A would have really wanted to apply for this job but didn’t tell her to increase her own chances then yes it’s not on

A is being ridiculous and needs to get over herself.

So B wants A to put B before herself in career opportunities?! That’s nuts.

So I’m guessing the outcome A thinks is rightfully hers is B tells her and she gets it. Why should B do that to herself? Entitled doughnut for sure.

I’d find it quite hard to deal with someone that self-centred.

if B knew A would have really wanted to apply for this job but didn’t tell her to increase her own chances then yes it’s not on

Why is it not on? Even if it was my closest friend in the entire world I wouldn’t tell them if it was a job I wanted too. My life/development/ambition comes first, and I wouldn’t expect them to tell me either

A should have been checking the internal job ads.

B and you have clearly shown A that your friendship is of lower priority than your careers. Not U necessarily, probably sensible in fact, but hard to maintain a close friendship when this is the case and you all work at the same place.

The job rarely coming up is irrelevant.

I agree with others who say if it was her dream job and in her dream location, why wasn't she keeping an eye out for vacancies? I check most days on the off chance for mine even though I have a good job; just in case (and it takes about a minute, if that).

Was it B's dream job too?

I too would have kept my mouth well shut. A should have been on high alert for any signs of her dream job coming up. It’s not B’s duty to tell her or sacrifice her own career for her. I too would have left a mate in the dust if I saw an amazing opportunity come up. Why should B wreck her own chances?

A is plain ole jealous.