Not telling friend about their dream job advert?

[tequilasunrises]

OK so not me but a friend of mine (A) is really cross. A mutual friend (B) applied for a job within our (really really massive organisation) and got it. A is angry because it’s her dream location and job, but she didn’t see the advert or know that B was applying for anything.

She thinks that B should have told her about the job because they are close friends and B knows it’s her dream and she could have applied too. A thinks B has been snakey.

I said that if I was B I probably wouldn’t have told her either because it would increase the competition. A now thinks I’m a bit of a cow too.

So was B unreasonable?

How did B know and A didn't?

@tequilasunrises Well that's a shame for 'A' and it does seem a tad underhand, but tbh I would have done the same. (And I have.) If I am interested in something and I want it, (job, house, car, item of clothing, any particular item,) then I am not going to tell anyone about it til I have tried to get it. Why would I, and risk not getting it myself?

Once bitten, twice shy. I have blabbed in the past, and lost out on what I wanted. Not any more.

As @custardbear said 'you snooze, you lose.'

By the way OP, are YOU the person B?

I disagree with nearly all the above posters!!

This wouldn't happen to me because none of my closest friends do the job I do. But, If any of my very close friends saw a job, my dream job, yes I would expect them to tell me.

However, they are both ambitious? And do the same job? Well then this was inevitable?

"A is angry because it’s her dream location and job, but she didn’t see the advert or know that B was applying for anything."
Why didn't she see the advert? Maybe if she can't be bothered to keep her eyes open, she would not have been the dream applicant for this job?

I suspect she's angry with herself, and taking it out on B (and now you). I'd be pulling her up on that.

She'd also be upset if she was told about it by B and didnt get it and B did.

Cant really win

I agree that it’s A’s responsibility to keep an eye out for vacancies etc if they’re really that keen. Yes, it would have been nice for B to point it out but A really doesn’t have the right to be so angry.

This is why is good to keep your work life and social life very separate!!!

@Oblomov19

This wouldn't happen to me because none of my closest friends do the job I do. But, If any of my very close friends saw a job, my dream job, yes I would expect them to tell me.

Why would they tell you though, if they wanted the job? And why should they?

Also...

If you knew about a job that you were interested in, and you had a friend who did the same job as you, (and you knew she would be very interested in the job too,) would you tell them, or go for the job yourself and not mention it?

Most people (if they were honest,) would keep it under their hat, to increase their chance of getting the job themselves.

Seems to me that the only outcome A would have been happy with is that B told her about the job and then she was offered it over B.
Not surprised B didn't say anything tbh.
If I was B I would feel like I was in a difficult position but I'm not sure I would tell A. I would probably assume she had already spotted the opportunity and applied.

I agree with previous posters. B did not have to mention it to A. It's not her fault if A didn't see it, and A just sounds bitter, and angry with herself for missing it.

It wasn't B's job to tell A anything.

I have got a feeling that even if B DID tell A about the job, and then B went on to get it, A would still be angry she didn't get it, and pissed off with B.

As B is a 'friend' it is a bit snaky. I have told colleagues/friends at work about jobs that came up in the past, even if we're in competition. May the best candidate win.

If B knew A would have really wanted to apply for this job but didn’t tell her to increase her own chances then yes it’s not on
Ha ha, is that you A?
Meanwhile back in the real world....

Definitely 🐍🐍🐍🐍

Well that's a shame for 'A' and it does seem a tad underhand,

Why underhand? Presumably it was advertised somewhere where A could have seen it had she bothered to look.

Why didn’t A know about the job? She wasn’t actively looking or the job was hidden from her?

If he didn’t see it through apathy, tough shit, if it wasn’t advertised then it wasn’t Bs fault but was unfair.

Either way, agree with the earlier response in that you snooze you lose!

A should have been looking. Tough shit.

It’s also quite a rare job to come up
So A should have job alerts set up if it's that rare surely. I don't think B has done anything wrong. I don't tell my friends when I am applying for jobs, and I definitely wouldn't if I thought they would be strong competition! Although if they found out about a role we were both interested in and applied off their own back, I would wish them the best of luck :)

I guess the main question is would A have told B?

Blimey!
You are all hardcore! Is this what you consider real friends are?

Clearly not a deep friendship. When you are in a deep friendship you genuinely care for the other person. And want the best for them.

Plus, all these 'why didn't she see the job' ? Errr, even regular/almost daily looking, and notifications set up/in place, you can still miss a job advertised you know!

If my dream job didn't become available very often, I would make sure that I became aware when such a job came up. That would be my own responsibility, not my friend's responsibility to tell me.
If, as I think you mean, the job was advertised internally, it is A's responsibility to check these adverts herself. Particularly if they are emailed to her, are published in the company newsletter etc. If this is the case, B might've assumed that A had seen the ad and avoided mentioning it so as not to cause increased stress to all.
A is BU!

How did she not see it? Our HR dept sends out weekly emails listing the jobs on our site and the jobs across the globe are easily found on the website. If A and B work for the same company in similar enough jobs that B can be given A's ' dream job' then A is just being silly. What would she have done if she'd seen the advert and applied and B had still got the job? I dread to think of the tantrum then. Or would she expect B to flunk the interview so A could get the job?

I assume B went through the whole interviewing process and wasn't the only candidate.

A is assuming she would have even been called for an interview.

A is being unreasonable.

You want the best for a friend if it means it’s to your own detriment? And if not that friend is allowed to be pissed off. Crazy.

@Oblomov19 , I completely agree. If you saw your friends 'perfect job' you would tell them, or you aren't their friend.

A is entitled. So, what if B did tell A and B still got it? Would A be upset that B dared to go for the interview when it is A's dream job?

Some posters have said that if they're so close then B should have told A. But actually, if they're so close, then A should keep her feelings to herself for the sake of their close friendship and also be rooting for B and congratulating her.

Also if B told A and then A got the job surely B would be pretty peeved? Either way someone was going to be feeling resentful!