I genuinely can't see the wood for the trees with this one. My DP is perfectly able to have a drink or two with dinner, family events etc. However when he goes out with friends it's like he completely loses control. Last night he went out for "a few drinks" with a group of friends he hasn't seen for a while. It's mid week, we have two young non-sleeping DCs who we take it in turns to do nights/ mornings with- we agreed I'd do the night wakings if he got up with them at 6.30 to give me a bit of a lie in. I expected (or hoped really) that he'd come home after the pub has shut, quite tipsy, and pass out in bed til the morning.
Except at 1am I was woken up by a retching noise in my ear. DP was throwing up in bed, so drunk that he couldn't even turn his head to the side. He was choking on his sick whilst continuing to throw up. It was like something out of a medical drama tbh. I jumped out of bed, tried to push him on his side into the recovery position, petrified he was going to choke to death. He was so drunk I couldn't move him though, so had to sit there while he finishing puking and choking and crying "help me". Once he'd finished he passed out in his sick and I went to sleep in the spare room. Or more accurately, lie there crying and wondering what the fuck to do.
This isn't a one off. I've started to dread his nights out now as I know he'll say he's going out for a drink and end up rolling home God knows when. He's ruined weekend plans, been mugged on the train because he passed out. He's often in a foul mood the next day, and it really impacts badly on his anxiety. The hardest thing is that if I try to talk to him about it and say that this is not ok, he looks at me like I'm crazy, says he's doesn't have a problem. He'll never apologise unless I ask him too, and even then it's so grudging and almost contemptuous. I don't know what to do. Is it me? Should I be more understanding? I just don't want the kids to grow up with this.