Why do some people tell loads of small bullshit lies and think you don't know?

[OhioOhioOhio]

I've noticed this a lot lately, particularly with regards to one person whom I'm kind of stuck with, for the moment anyway.

Why do they speak loads of unnecessary small lies? What gain do they get?

I don't say anything but I do quietly think 'fk off with your bullshit' each time.

Yes I knew someone like this. It was odd. I think just a way of making herself more interesting.

It's a security thing, I think.

People who are very secure in who they are don't seem to bullshit as much.

Have you got any examples? There are fibs and there are lies.

I had a friend like this, lovely, seemingly honest girl otherwise, but would just add random details into conversations that were 100% not true. It was almost as if if she didn’t have anything to add to a conversation she would just make it up. There was never an malice in it.

I work with someone like this. In the past month

• She started and finished a uni course. (Said on the Thursday she was trying to decide between two unis, started on the Tuesday after but was only there about 6 hours per week and alternated between saying she attended two different ones)
• Her DP was attacked and got two black eyes and a broken jaw
• Her DP crashed the car
• She found out her DP was going to propose on NYE
• She said they were looking into adoption
• They broke up last weekend
• She said that she doesn't actually like kids that much and couldn't decide if she wanted any
• She's moving abroad next year
• She was offered a promotion
• I know she's told me things other people have apparently said which aren't true

Not as interesting as that. Really tiny lies that cause no real difference, except they are obviously not true.

I can't think, erm, like being 'oh so helpful' when in fact they were doing it anyway for themselves. Iyswim

Some people are stupid. They don’t realise other people aren’t stupid.

It’s annoying.

It’s a way of keeping themselves safe. They suspect that they’re worthless, so they bolster their self esteem with these lies. To be exposed as not being this amazing would be devastating to them.

Omg. Pp. Yes. I think that's it. Exactly it.

So how do I cope with the part that fucking infuriates me, that they think they've duped me?

I lied. It really, really, really annoys me.

I have a really good friend who I've known for over 30 years. The 'tall stories' over the years have been mind boggling. Think, bone wasting disease, heart attack, redundancy packages of £600k, dancing drunkenly with a member of the royal family (which then changed to an ex-prime minister), flying in from another country to attend a funeral when in fact they'd been picked up that very morning from their flat, to being married to name but a few. They are all untrue. Trouble is they forget who they've told and now it's got to the stage where I don't believe anything they say however trivial it seems. We just all sit back and listen and nod and it's turned into a bit of an entertaining social occasion. Shame really as this person would do anything to help you and I do class them as a lovely friend - just living in a total make believe fantasy world!!

Volunteered with a woman exactly like this, would sometimes insert a blatant lie mid flow of sentence. Obviously just bullshitted as she went along. But zero malice. And it was like she couldn't help it. Came to the conclusion she had an unusual neurological problem there was no diagnosis for as she also had mild ASD traits.

A friend of mines sister met a very famous actor at a very prestigious event and photos were posted to Facebook

This woman doesn't know my friend or her sister and I found it quite telling that she contacted me ages later asking for the picture because another person I didn't know didn't believe her

I was unable to give her the picture but I presume she would have claimed the woman was me. That was the sort of thing.

My ex was a fibber for absolutely no reason. We were going out when we were at uni and i remember him telling me about how he'd told a cab driver he was studying architecture...he wasnt- he was studying history. It was weird, pointless fibs like that he used to tell...I put it down to low self confidence

VanyaHargreeves

I’ve read your second post twice and literally cannot make heads not tails of it

They do it to see if they can get away with it.

The second post follows on from the first @Merryoldgoat so the woman I volunteered with who is a fibber, once contacted me for proof because a different friend didn't believe her that my friends sister had met a very famous man, but neither the fibber or her friend knew my friends sister, so I could only conclude she aiming to pretend I was the girl in the photograph

I think you should either start being sarcastic or just go “uh-hu” like you’re not interested.
If she sees you’re listening or engaging intently then she’ll do it the more, with more meat. She obviously likes the attention she gets from having something to say, instead of menial chit chat. Maybe it’s not a self esteem thing, it’s the opposite and she loves the sound of her own voice.

Maybe no one's called them out on their bullshit?
Siblings are great for highlighting when you're talking out your bum.

I have a friend who is EXACTLY the same
At best it's amusing at worst it's dangerous
I have no idea why myself and all of our friends just let her get away with it .

I dated someone for years like this. In my defence he was very sweet, strong, and great in bed. He told me he was a certain religion (wasn’t), had been made head of his department (nope), had punched a guy who was hassling a little old lady (doubt that very much), his kid had been caught with a knife at school, but its okay as he had the knife to defend a kid from racism (doubt any of that), he couldn’t make it over to see me because he had to help a friend move a cooker, help his grandma move her sofa, pick up his auntie, grandad, cousin, brother from the airport. It was exhausting and just kind of weird.

Last week I realised I lie lots in conversations- stupid lies.
Minimal. I mean ridiculous like agreeing that I grate cheese in a certain way,

Or talking about an event / holiday that I cannot afford( which is obvious probably to everyone but me) But Like I would go.. but its an ethical thing thats stopping me not a financial thing stupid.
( cannot think of a sensible example at this hour) .
It is something I have always done during small talk. But often do not realise at the time. I have only reflected on this recently.mostly happens with people I do not know so well or perhaps when I am nervous or feel the need to prove something.
I do not lie about everything- just to add.
I do feel rather a wally with this admission.

I thought I would just confess @OhioOhioOhio.

dated someone for years like this. In my defence he was very sweet, strong, and great in bed.

^

Fair enuff

dated someone for years like this. In my defence he was very sweet, strong, and great in bed

But he was an untrustworthy liar.

Not as interesting as that. Really tiny lies that cause no real difference, except they are obviously not true.

I can't think, erm, like being 'oh so helpful' when in fact they were doing it anyway for themselves. Iyswim

Could you expand a little?