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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to make a complaint about my partner's GP or will it just make things worse?

95 replies

Theloftmonster · 27/11/2019 20:23

I really don't know what to do for the best.

My partner has been under the same GP for years. To start with DP thought the GP was great, he was young, enthusiastic and DP felt he was really listened to. Years have passed and the GP is now one of the partners at the surgery.

DP had a motorbike accident in his early 20s. He broke many bones in his body including his knee. He has suffered pain in his knee ever since and, with age, this has become much worse. Around 15 years ago the GP started prescribing Co-codamol for the pain, DP has been taking it ever since. DP also suffers from anxiety and depression, he has been on the same antidepressants for years also.

A couple of years ago DP went to the GP with a bulge in his lower abdomen, he was in a fair bit of pain. The GP said that he couldn't feel anything but finally agreed to refer DP to the local hospital. When DP was seen at the hospital the consultant was concerned enough to mark his case as urgent because the hernia was so progressed he was worried about strangulation. DP was operated on within three weeks.

A while later DP complained of pain in one of his legs. The GP again was dismissive but DP was finally diagnosed (by a different GP in the surgery) as having cellulitis and was prescribed antibiotics, the pain was still there and so he was given a second course. DP still felt pain but again the GP was dismissive.

DP struggled on but after about a year his hip became very painful. He again went to the GP who reluctantly sent him to the cottage hospital. The x-rays showed that there was an issue with the hip and DP started on cortisone injections in the hip. The first injection worked fantastically but the relief was shortlived. The second injection did nothing to help. DP again went to the GP and had an appointment where a young female trainee doctor sat in. DP came back from the appointment in absolute pieces. DP says that the doctor basically said that DP was a pain-killer addict and DP felt humiliated. His mental health nosedived, it was awful seeing him in that state, he could barely motivate himself to get out of bed for weeks. His mood slowly improved, he went back to work, even though he was in significant pain. He refused to go back to the GP because of the way the last appointment had made him feel.

Finally I persuaded DP to see a female doctor at the surgery that I had found particularly empathetic, she referred DP to the hospital. The pain continued to increase, by now DP needed crutches to walk. He reluctantly went back to the doctor and they agreed to write to the hospital to see if it could be expedited. Nothing happened. DP rang the doctors every month or so, finally an appointment came through. By now DP was more or less bedridden because the pain was excruciating. DP was finally diagnosed stronger pain relief (the surgery wouldn't send anyone out to see him but then prescribed oramorph and later on tramadol over the phone). Each time he needs a repeat prescription he has to ring the surgery and is made to feel like an addict trying to get free drugs.

At the hospital they x-rayed the hip again. As the doctor looked at the x-ray, called in a colleague for a second opinion and said that the difference between the x-ray at the cottage hospital and the x-ray they had just taken showed a massive deterioration which should not have happened in that time frame. The doctor referred DP for urgent tests and said that the consultant would do the hip replacement himself. We got a phone call on the way home for the hospital to book the CT scan. Over the next month DP had blood tests, bone density scan and a MRI scan. Every one we saw commented on how much pain DP was obviously in and were very sympathetic. Still the GP surgery have refused to put his painkillers on repeat so he needs to ring up each time and plead his case. This has massively affected his mental health as he feels like he is marked as an addict and not believed.

We got the results about a couple of weeks ago. DP has been diagnosed with Avascular Necrosis. The blood supply to his hip had been cut off some how and the bone has basically died. His hip joint has crumbled, he is now mostly bedridden, occupational health has given him a wheelchair, crutches, a raised toilet seat etc. DP is having his first operation this week where they are taking samples to see if there is an infection that has caused the necrosis and to clean out the socket. After that, assuming there is no infection to treat, he needs at the very minimum, a full hip replacement. The muscles in his legs have withered away, he has been told he is going to need a shedload of physio after the operations to be able to walk again, let alone do anything else. DP is 51.

DP still has to ring the surgery each time he needs more painkillers and it really affects his mood, his depression and anxiety has worsened considerably.

It really feels that DP's GP has made a judgement that DP is some sort of addict when all he is doing is trying to control the pain he is in. I feel that the GP has allowed his opinion of DP to cloud his judgement and this has meant that DP didn't get the treatment he needed until things got to breaking point both physically and mentally and, even now, DP is still having to constantly justify himself.

DP is worried that if we complain about the GPs attitude that it will only get worse, I think that something needs to be said. DP is the shell of the person he used to be. I am willing to do the complaining for him so he doesn't have that extra stress. WIBU to complain? If so is it the practice manager we speak to? To complicate things I think the GP is the head guy.

Sorry it is so long!!

OP posts:
Poissonpoison · 27/11/2019 20:33

Please complain.

Racmactac · 27/11/2019 20:37

Your poor DH. Sounds awful for him.

Please complain. Is there another surgery he could change to?

iklboo · 27/11/2019 20:38

Write to the practice manager. There is a (remote) chance that this is a policy set by the local CCG. Request a response, in writing, explaining why they are making your DP do this. If you're not happy write to the CCG itself. If the doctor kicks off at this and treats your DP any differently they can help.

stripeypillowcase · 27/11/2019 20:41

complain
it can hardly get any worse from the sound of it.

Ukholidaysaregreat · 27/11/2019 20:43

I would complain and move surgeries. They sound like a bunch of cunts. Good luck to your partner with the next stages of this.

littlepaddypaws · 27/11/2019 20:44

this is disgusting i'd def complain to the practice manager and possibly get some legal advice, if the gp has been denying support and it has affected mn.

1Bobbinwinder · 27/11/2019 20:45

I'm so sorry, that's so unfair. Do complain

PurpleFrames · 27/11/2019 20:46

The GP sounds really bad.

However the policy on painkillers is very normal and widespread since the rise of prescription painkiller addiction.

If your DP has taken an opiate based painkiller for more than 3 days his body is physically reliant. Now in this case it is clearly the less evil (than being in constant pain) but something to bare in mind, it's unlikely to be personal.

Singlebutmarried · 27/11/2019 20:46

I would complain.

Had your DPs concerns have been take seriously he possibly wouldn’t have got to the state.

I don’t know if PALs covers surgeries as well as hospitals? Might be worth a look.

emmetgirl · 27/11/2019 20:46

Yes complain but the complaint needs to come from your DP and not you.

Theloftmonster · 27/11/2019 20:49

Thank you all for reading it all.

DP is so anxious about complaining, he wanted us to have a sanity check before doing anything. He is worried about changing doctors halfway through the treatment plan will cause complications/errors.

I will show him your answers, thank you!

OP posts:
OrangeSwoosh · 27/11/2019 20:52

I'm amazed that they continued to prescribe opiates for 15+ years

TheQueef · 27/11/2019 20:52

That's dreadful.
Can you move surgery and then complain?

lynzpynz · 27/11/2019 20:55

Complain, in fact you might actually be able to prove negligence (officially request a copy of your notes you are entitled to them and have a look) and also causation (the negligence has made his condition worse than it otherwise would have been, although it's much harder to prove).

I have hypermobility, spent over a year back and forth at GPS being dismissed and sent round physios, podiatrists and other GPs for the pain in my pelvis which was oooobviously just my hypermobility. By the time I couldn't get up stairs anymore I went to GP and refused to leave their office till they examined me. Eventually agreed to refer to ortho who was rude, dismissive and asked why I was there. The xray (which he told me the cost to the NHS beforehand! ) soon shut them all up. Bone tumour. GPs are great in so many ways but they are rarely specialists. If you feel something is wrong do not take no for an answer or let them make you feel like you are lying about your pain just because you have a previous condition / accident, as both I and your other half have found out to our costs!!

I actually remember crying when ortho told me it was a bone tumour, not because of what it was - but that finally I was being believed and not being made to feel like a hypochondriac. This kind of treatment can utterly wreck your mental health and make you question your sanity.

curlykaren · 27/11/2019 20:55

Do you have access to a PALS service via your hospital? They are very supportive when needing to complain.
Also, the consultant dealing with the hip operation can refer your husband to a pain clinic and the pain medication can be prescribed by them. Huge sympathies to you both, chronic pain really impacts on a person's personality and mental health, it must be very difficult for both of you.
Please complain, it's not good enough 💟

PinkiOcelot · 27/11/2019 21:00

Definitely complain. Disgusting treatment or should I say lack of?!

AG1x · 27/11/2019 21:04

I work in clinical negligence and suggest it may be worth speaking with a solicitor about this

hazell42 · 27/11/2019 21:10

Your husband has been treated very badly.
However, I'm not sure that you are allowed to complain on someone else's behalf, unless, maybe you have power of attorney
I could be wrong but my suspicion Is that they will refuse to act on the complaint and probably cite gdpr
Nothing to Stop you drafting the letter and just getting him to sign it though.

FudgeBrownie2019 · 27/11/2019 21:13

Absolutely as others have said, draft the letter for him and have him sign it. I appreciate that Doctors are under enormous pressures but your DH deserved better care through each step of this. Flowers

Theloftmonster · 27/11/2019 21:15

I am very worried about his long term use of painkillers. It angers me though that the doctor was very happy to prescribe the co-codamol for years without properly looking into what was causing the pain, it was easier to send him away with pills. Attitudes, quite rightly, changed in relation to long term pain relief but instead of the GP actually finding why he was in pain, he carried on prescribing the pills whilst criticising him for taking them Hmm

OP posts:
spinyffud · 27/11/2019 21:16

You can’t complain on someone else’s behalf, although the practice will probably take your complaint seriously and possibly check your husband consents to the complaint being made.

I work in the NHS and know there is a lot of pressure to reduce potentially addictive meds, but this sounds bad.

Theloftmonster · 27/11/2019 21:18

I have had a look at the citizens advice site and it says that DP can authorise me to act on his behalf. To be honest his mental health isn't strong enough to be able to fight his own corner.

OP posts:
Theloftmonster · 27/11/2019 21:18

Who can complain?
You can complain about any aspect of the NHS as long as you:

receive or have received services from the body concerned, or
are someone who is affected, or likely to be affected, by the action, omission or decision of the body you want to complain about.
You can complain on behalf of someone else if the person who has grounds to complain:

has died, or
is a child, or
can’t make the complaint themselves because of physical or mental incapacity, or
has asked you to act on their behalf.

OP posts:
Pixxie7 · 27/11/2019 21:19

Definitely complain and agree with previous poster you could well have a case for negligence which requires you to prove cause and effect. I doubt they would remove you, but you would be allocated another GP anyway.
Write to practice manager in the first instance.

Selmababies · 27/11/2019 21:19

I second speaking with a solicitor specialising in medical negligence ( i haven legal training, but this sounds apalling!)