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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to make a complaint about my partner's GP or will it just make things worse?

95 replies

Theloftmonster · 27/11/2019 20:23

I really don't know what to do for the best.

My partner has been under the same GP for years. To start with DP thought the GP was great, he was young, enthusiastic and DP felt he was really listened to. Years have passed and the GP is now one of the partners at the surgery.

DP had a motorbike accident in his early 20s. He broke many bones in his body including his knee. He has suffered pain in his knee ever since and, with age, this has become much worse. Around 15 years ago the GP started prescribing Co-codamol for the pain, DP has been taking it ever since. DP also suffers from anxiety and depression, he has been on the same antidepressants for years also.

A couple of years ago DP went to the GP with a bulge in his lower abdomen, he was in a fair bit of pain. The GP said that he couldn't feel anything but finally agreed to refer DP to the local hospital. When DP was seen at the hospital the consultant was concerned enough to mark his case as urgent because the hernia was so progressed he was worried about strangulation. DP was operated on within three weeks.

A while later DP complained of pain in one of his legs. The GP again was dismissive but DP was finally diagnosed (by a different GP in the surgery) as having cellulitis and was prescribed antibiotics, the pain was still there and so he was given a second course. DP still felt pain but again the GP was dismissive.

DP struggled on but after about a year his hip became very painful. He again went to the GP who reluctantly sent him to the cottage hospital. The x-rays showed that there was an issue with the hip and DP started on cortisone injections in the hip. The first injection worked fantastically but the relief was shortlived. The second injection did nothing to help. DP again went to the GP and had an appointment where a young female trainee doctor sat in. DP came back from the appointment in absolute pieces. DP says that the doctor basically said that DP was a pain-killer addict and DP felt humiliated. His mental health nosedived, it was awful seeing him in that state, he could barely motivate himself to get out of bed for weeks. His mood slowly improved, he went back to work, even though he was in significant pain. He refused to go back to the GP because of the way the last appointment had made him feel.

Finally I persuaded DP to see a female doctor at the surgery that I had found particularly empathetic, she referred DP to the hospital. The pain continued to increase, by now DP needed crutches to walk. He reluctantly went back to the doctor and they agreed to write to the hospital to see if it could be expedited. Nothing happened. DP rang the doctors every month or so, finally an appointment came through. By now DP was more or less bedridden because the pain was excruciating. DP was finally diagnosed stronger pain relief (the surgery wouldn't send anyone out to see him but then prescribed oramorph and later on tramadol over the phone). Each time he needs a repeat prescription he has to ring the surgery and is made to feel like an addict trying to get free drugs.

At the hospital they x-rayed the hip again. As the doctor looked at the x-ray, called in a colleague for a second opinion and said that the difference between the x-ray at the cottage hospital and the x-ray they had just taken showed a massive deterioration which should not have happened in that time frame. The doctor referred DP for urgent tests and said that the consultant would do the hip replacement himself. We got a phone call on the way home for the hospital to book the CT scan. Over the next month DP had blood tests, bone density scan and a MRI scan. Every one we saw commented on how much pain DP was obviously in and were very sympathetic. Still the GP surgery have refused to put his painkillers on repeat so he needs to ring up each time and plead his case. This has massively affected his mental health as he feels like he is marked as an addict and not believed.

We got the results about a couple of weeks ago. DP has been diagnosed with Avascular Necrosis. The blood supply to his hip had been cut off some how and the bone has basically died. His hip joint has crumbled, he is now mostly bedridden, occupational health has given him a wheelchair, crutches, a raised toilet seat etc. DP is having his first operation this week where they are taking samples to see if there is an infection that has caused the necrosis and to clean out the socket. After that, assuming there is no infection to treat, he needs at the very minimum, a full hip replacement. The muscles in his legs have withered away, he has been told he is going to need a shedload of physio after the operations to be able to walk again, let alone do anything else. DP is 51.

DP still has to ring the surgery each time he needs more painkillers and it really affects his mood, his depression and anxiety has worsened considerably.

It really feels that DP's GP has made a judgement that DP is some sort of addict when all he is doing is trying to control the pain he is in. I feel that the GP has allowed his opinion of DP to cloud his judgement and this has meant that DP didn't get the treatment he needed until things got to breaking point both physically and mentally and, even now, DP is still having to constantly justify himself.

DP is worried that if we complain about the GPs attitude that it will only get worse, I think that something needs to be said. DP is the shell of the person he used to be. I am willing to do the complaining for him so he doesn't have that extra stress. WIBU to complain? If so is it the practice manager we speak to? To complicate things I think the GP is the head guy.

Sorry it is so long!!

OP posts:
Alsohuman · 29/11/2019 19:25

It sounds like an horrendous saga but you can’t complain on behalf of someone else unless they’re under 18 or they have no mental capacity to act for themselves.

PurpleFrames · 29/11/2019 19:36

There aren't actually, I have yet to find something which has improved my pain long term.

I didn't think it was necessary to caveat everything as I give people the benefit of the doubt.

BlobbyTheLump · 29/11/2019 19:57

I suffer from chronic pain, dodgy hips (one bone on bone) and 3 deteriorated discs in my lower back.
I was taking oxycodone and co-codamol to manage the pain as they don't want to do any replacements just yet.

My surgery recently hired a new graduate to work for their meds management team, who spoke to me so awfully and accused me of drug seeking that I told her to stuff her drugs.

I now cope with just OTC painkillers.

I have put in a steaming letter of complaint to the practice manager about the attitude of the young lady and how, because of the way she treated me, I'm now suffering in pain on a daily basis.
I have a meeting with the manager next week and I'll be holding no punches.

The graduate is useless.

Make sure you complain, complain loudly. Doctors may be medical professionals and may be concerned about painkiller addiction; it's no excuse to be rude to patients, or treat them with suspicion/disdain.

SteelRiver · 29/11/2019 19:58

Your poor, DP. His pain sounds horrendous and his pain meds really should be on repeat. I've had Zomorph, Oramorph, Naproxen & Gabapentin on repeat for years.
I would put in a complaint but I'd also change GP surgery right away. Tell you partner not to worry. I moved from England to Scotland mid treatment and everything was smoothly handled.
I hope he can get the surgery he needs and some relief from the pain meantime. Best of luck with your complaint. He's lucky to have you to fight for him.

Crunchymum · 29/11/2019 20:08

Just to clarify, your DP was being prescribed cocodomal for 15 years? Is that correct?

I'm sorry things got so bad, and the reason for the pain should have been investigated and treated years ago. Yes complain.

JolieOBrien · 29/11/2019 20:11

@Theloftmonster

You must complain because they will then improve their services.

GPs are failed hospital consultants btw

DPotter · 29/11/2019 20:17

JolieOBrien

whilst I agree the OP's DP has had poor treatment - it is totally wrong to say all GPs are failed hospital consultants. In fact that's absolute crap - shame on you

JolieOBrien · 29/11/2019 20:23

@DPotter

Shame on me? Shame on them ...

JolieOBrien · 29/11/2019 20:24

My mother was told she was suffering from anxiety she actually had lung cancer!

Whiteroverbaby · 29/11/2019 20:24

I would definitely complain and also inform your local health board of the treatment he has received. I think oramorph and tramadol are controlled drugs so I think they do need to be requested differently or only a shorter supply is given because of what they are. Do you think Your husband may of miss understood what the GP was saying? And maybe took the whole thing out of context ? If he is 100% sure the GP said he was an addict, yes definitely complain. But regardless, he would of had to follow guidelines to request medication.

Stegosaurus1990 · 29/11/2019 20:28

Can your DP write a letter? Absolutely complain. His diagnosis alone should warrant his pain meds. His mental health should be treated with more regard.

DPotter · 29/11/2019 20:28

@JolieOBrien
Poor care is not limited to GPs.

I hate sweeping statements such as yours - it is totally unreasonable and a lazy way of looking at the world.

Some GPs may have wanted to be hospital consultants, the vast majority do not.

JolieOBrien · 29/11/2019 20:30

@DPotter

My Gp told me I was suffering from the menopause it was actually Graves' Disease.

everybodyneedsomebody · 29/11/2019 21:35

I think oramorph and tramadol are controlled drugs so I think they do need to be requested differently or only a shorter supply is given because of what they are.

Depends on the strength re Oramorph. The formulation 10mg/5ml for example is not a controlled drug. Stronger formulations are. Some places have made the decision to treat it as such, but that’s entirely optional. Doesn’t require the patient to sign the CD box at the top right of a prescription to collect it.

isitxmasyet · 30/11/2019 08:31

Ah the usual GP bashing commences
Yes the OP is describing attitudes which have been detrimental and she is right it question the care.

But along then comes the GPs are failed consultants and my GP said I had X but it was X...

Diagnosis are hard to make. Many symptoms overlap.
It is a process of elimination and the first most likely diagnosis may not the the correct one in the end

GPs follow their own training pathway which is a rigorous as a hospital pathway
They are specialist generalists
It is a historical thing that they don’t use the term consultant but they are every bit as qualified and their skill set is specific and hard. The job is hard.

I am a hospital consultant and I couldn’t be a GP- I would’ve terrified to the the first line for the presentation of anything in any age group and have to know something about literally every specialism.

Give them a break.
It’s rude and disrespectful to start with the whole failed doctor trope.

everybodyneedsomebody · 30/11/2019 11:02

isitxmasyet

People just betray a fundamental misunderstanding of the doctor/GP training pathway when they start with the ‘failed consultants’ nonsense. They embarrass themselves more than anything!

DPotter · 30/11/2019 11:21

JolieOBrien

One GP's actions do not apply to the whole profession.

isitxmasyet has explained the position perfectly. Sweeping statements do no one any favours and can seriously undermine your argument and totally legitimate concerns and compliants.

Theloftmonster · 30/11/2019 11:24

I am not criticising all GPs. I see a female doctor at the same surgery who is fantastic. A good GP is worth their weight on gold.

I think that it wouldn't have been so bad if the GP had been like this from the start. When DP started seeing him he was really impressed, he was keen and had a great bedside manner, understanding without being patronising. DP really respected him so the treatment he received hit him harder than it would have.

What I would like to happen after a complaint is a review of DPs symptoms and medications. The antidepressants he has been on for years are ineffective and too addictive to come off without help (although they have been absolutely fine putting those on repeat, without any review, for years). A referral to a pain clinic, I didn't know they existed until this thread. He is on significant levels of pain relief and is still in constant pain, maybe they are coming at things from the wrong angle?

What would be fantastic would be an acknowledgement that DP has been misjudged, that the pain he is suffering is real and isn't all in his mind. The hospital staff are, almost with exception, wonderful. They haven't got the same negative starting point as the GP, they see the various scan results and all comment on how much pain it must be causing. I can't read his x-ray and scan results but the behaviour from staff when they look makes it clear that it really is bad. At his pre-OP the sister took us up to have his bloods done herself and asked them to stay open a few minutes longer so we didn't have to make a second trip to the hospital. Acts of kindness like that mean so much when life seems so very shitty.

The GPs criticism and dismissive attitude still stings though.

OP posts:
ginghamstarfish · 30/11/2019 11:39

Yes, please do contact the practice manager and possibly get legal advice. What a dreadful situation OP.

lynzpynz · 30/11/2019 16:04

I've had horrific experience with a previous GP practice, several GPs were legally proven negligent by an objective process, sadly couldn't prove causation (as I still have my leg amongst other things) but that doesn't excuse the negligence and associated (but unproveable) destructive dismissive verbal comments or looks.

That doesn't mean all GPs are shit and they're definately not failed consultants (one of my best friends is a GP and she is amazing, caring and works her socks off!). My current practice are amazing (admittedly 1 GP is an exception!) and couldn't fault them, really good service and a lot of respect for them and the hard work they do. Recently written glowing positive feedback to the practice as they rarely get it and they shared it with the staff meetings and got in touch to thank me. Thank your GPs when it's deserved - as too often the good ones get overlooked as people only get in touch to complain!

Snide comments (in the patients presence as well!), dismissing of issues escalating as simply being e.g. existing problems without referring to specialists when someone is stating they are in excruciating pain and its getting worse and leaving someone on addictive painkillers for long periods without reviewing their case is however not acceptable and justifies a complaint.

OP your other half has a justifiable complaint, as others have said if he doesn't feel able he can document he allows you to correspond for him. No-one (who's read your posts!) thinks you are saying all GPs are shit. You've both been through hell and it's not just your other half's physical health which has suffered - both your mental health has too by sounds of it ❤️

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