AIBU to sleep from 3am to 12 midday?

[Scarscar]

My natural sleep pattern falls from 3am to 12 midday and it's been this way for 25 years since I was a teen.
I've done all the things over the years to try and change it light box, various sleeping tablets, no screens, orange sleep glasses, not eating/drinking late, aromatherapy oils, hypnotherapy, meditation etc.
I'd like to sleep normal hours but I can't seem to find a way to change. I am at a point where I feel like just saying enough of trying to change it and just accept that those are my sleeping hours and I shall work my life around what my body seems to need. AIBU?

As long as it fits in with your job and you have no family commitments eg no dc to be at school go for it. When I was 18 I had a factory summer job permanently on 2-10pm shift. Loved it. My body clock is I’d rather sleep at 1/2am then get up later. The permanent staff preferred 6-2 so us temps got that Shift. One lady felt sorry for me and kept badgering for me to be moved as 2-10 was no life for a young girl. I was horrified as I’d have needed to get up at 4 or 5 am. Luckily they kept me on 2-10. Throughout my life my natural body clock has stayed like this, a secretary once commented I didn’t speak until after 11. I found it suited when dd was a baby as I used to feed her in early hours then sleep. DD used to have another feed 6am ish when DH went to work but then we’d sleep until 9 or 10. Dd is same body clock as me. Husband is opposite.

Go right ahead

I deliberately picked a job with hours that some people consider odd because of this.

It’s no one’s business but yours.

@Dixiechickonhols. “ One lady felt sorry for me and kept badgering for me to be moved as 2-10 was no life for a young girl.”

Wait, what? Did she disapprove of nightclubs too?!

There definitely a vibe that it’s lazy. My mum is a lark but then goes to bed at what I’d consider a ridiculously early time of 10pm. She has always been obsessed with children going to bed early. She used to want me to have DD in a 7-7 routine and I just used to think why would I voluntarily get up at 7am when there is no need. I can remember being a child lying in bed it was still light out and could hear my friends playing.

AutumnRose1 I think she was thinking of me missing out on socialising with friends in the evenings. It’s over 25 years ago in a small town don’t think there was a nightclub. I have very fond memories of that summer. Used to see my boyfriend at lunchtime before work. But I ended up in an office 9-5 career.

I remember going to Egypt and we arrived around midnight. I was initially shocked to drive past all these people sitting around on fold up chairs with small children playing alongside. But I soon realised they did it that way because of the intense heat in the daytime and it made a lot of sense. In the west we have been "forced" in to a 9-5 lifestyle. School is set up in that way, purely to train us for adulthood! I find it all quite depressing. I love now that I work from home I can just sleep when I'm tired without having to conform. Your pattern works for you so don't feel any guilt over it.

I've always been a bit of a night owl but then I worked nights for about 5 years in my 20's and sleep has been a major issue ever since. I became obsessed with how many hours I was sleeping/when I could get a catch up etc and I don't think I've ever really been able to shake that anxiety about sleep so it remains a problem even 20 years down the line.

I sleep best 4am-12pm but that means I'm out of synch with DH (and the rest of the world it feels like!) which causes problems so I'm constantly fighting to keep to a 'normal' sleep pattern. It's a bit better atm actually, I have more of a routine going than I've ever managed before and am sleeping approx 2am-9am. I know though that the first time I have a lie in it will all go to pot and I'll have to start all over again.

If it wasn't going to impact my family life then yes, I would absolutely stop fighting it and just sleep when my body wanted to. I do think some of my issues are genetic as DM has always been a night owl, she's retired now so fights it less than she used to and has a similar natural pattern to me, sleeps 4am-12pm. I've never heard of the delayed sleep thing so off to do some research now, would be nice to know there was a reason even if I can't fix it

You too Needanexpert?! I love being up late on a dark winter night just reading, writing, sewing and getting really creative.

Dixichickonhol my mum was exactly the same when DD was younger! Was always tutting about time for bed for DD.

@Vintagevixen absolutely. Every uni assignment gets written between 9pm and 3am.

Sadly my boss is a lark, as is hers. She complains that she can’t start work before 7am every day and then nags me about working at 7pm.

DD (9) has just been on stage with a local theatre company. 8 days of rehearsals and shows that didn’t finish till 10:30-11pm at night. Amazing experience. She absolutely glowed. (Luckily her headteacher is part of the theatre company so he doesn’t bat an eyelid about the resultant late starts following day. )

I remember going to Egypt and we arrived around midnight. I was initially shocked to drive past all these people sitting around on fold up chairs with small children playing alongside.

I remember being shocked when I saw that in Egypt too, but now I reckon they've got it sussed.

Everyone has a set time they need to go to sleep and wake up. You are either a lark, an owl or an in betweener and what you are can't be changed. To sleep outside of your natural cycle is really bad for your physical and mental health. Which is why night owls have a much greater risk of various diseases and die earlier than larks - because they are usually forced to sleep like "larks" to fit in with the way our society now works. So if you can work your life around your sleep pattern do it. It is much better for you.

Have a read of "why we sleep" by Matthew Walker a neuroscientist who studies sleep which explains all of the above much better than I am able to!

I'm an owl, definitely. I would much rather go to sleep around midnight or 1am.

It's always the same. Have to wake up stupidly early for work, long and tiring day, often not home until 8pm or later. By the time I've showered and eaten and watched some TV it's gone 10, but I still want to listen to music or colour or read or chill. But I know I have to be up early. Am so glad I've no appointments on a Friday so I can sleep in a bit later

Agree that society disapprove of night owls. In uni I got so much stick for laying In bed til midday or 2pm. Well yes, because often I didn't go to sleep until 2pm. Early up and early to bed is seen as a moral advantage. Unsure why

I know it really annoys me that society disapproves of night owls. Why? What makes someone better just because they get up earlier! I stay up later as that's when I am most productive and I can't sleep earlier. I also know it's better for me to sleep when my body wants me to sleep. I am also utterly useless in the morning.

Yet I once mentioned this to a friend and said that I arrange to start work a bit later so I can sleep later - I said I get up at 8 (which is actually still way too early for me!) and she was appalled. 8 isn't even late ffs!

My DH annoyingly is a lark and can barely stay awake after 10. We hardly see each other!!

I do exactly this and feel less of a weirdo knowing others do it too.

My health isn't good and I fell into the pattern several years ago when I was on too many meds. It's just kind of stuck. I do go to bed about 11.30 and read/play on iPad with blue screen filter, and I think that extra time lying down helps.

I do really miss daylight around this time of year. Every year when the clocks go back I try to get up earlier and it never lasts long!

I have forced myself up for work but only working freelance from home, usually not a full day so managed a nap later. Not working much at the moment.

I can get up at a normal time if I have to but I will generally feel crap all day. Sometimes if I get 'overtired' I can't sleep the next night.

Even if I manage a week or so getting up at 10.30/11 I still slip back into my usual habit very quickly afterwards.

I live with DH, he doesn't love it but accepts that by doing this I feel reasonable the rest of the day. And weekdays he's at work anyway. He now organises to do things alone/with friends on weekend mornings - or enjoys time to himself with the remote! Tomorrow I have to take him to work so he can catch a plane later - I will be up at 7 but back in bed by 8.30!

Best thing was going to Australia - jet lag/lack of sleep on the plane catapulted me into 8.30am waking for at least a couple of weeks, though I got a bit later as the holiday went on.