AIBU to sleep from 3am to 12 midday?

[Scarscar]

My natural sleep pattern falls from 3am to 12 midday and it's been this way for 25 years since I was a teen.
I've done all the things over the years to try and change it light box, various sleeping tablets, no screens, orange sleep glasses, not eating/drinking late, aromatherapy oils, hypnotherapy, meditation etc.
I'd like to sleep normal hours but I can't seem to find a way to change. I am at a point where I feel like just saying enough of trying to change it and just accept that those are my sleeping hours and I shall work my life around what my body seems to need. AIBU?

Kids presumably need to be at school in the morning so how would it be a healthy schedule?

Not all kids go to school, some kids go to school later, some still manage to go to school after a late night.
Because we don't all operate 9-5 with a couple of hours commute

Kids presumably need to be at school in the morning so how would it be a healthy schedule?

Yes. Frankly we don’t fit into the confines society places on us. Not sure it’s up to us to change our biology. In practice we get up as late as we can during the week and make up for it at weekends. Shame society can’t be a bit more flexible though. The Europeans manage it.

@Scarscar oh in that case then absolutely you do what you want! It works for you so I don’t see the issue.

I’m the opposite and am up at the crack of dawn and go to bed at 9.30pm which isn’t real conducive to nights out or generally being social. Good thing I’m anti social 🤣
Thankfully the baby has an early wake up and early bedtime too!

NeedAnExpert

Heaven forbid we should all conform
If mine was in bed early every night there is no way she'd be able to work, she'd be falling asleep or pure adrenaline which is bad for your system and causes illness.

I have kids who did conform to the societal norm ito sleep, schooling and starting their careers when expected.

One of the best things about being divorced is i now at least occasionally (when he actually has the kids when he should) get my “catch up” sleep. And it was ex stopping me getting it as much as the kids!

@Drabarni

It's not impossible to keep those hours just because you have kids.

My DH would rather keep those hours but we have children to get ready for school and put to bed in the evening. Like hell am I doing it all myself because he's asleep or working late!

jelly

It works for us. We don't conform, my dh was happy to get up with the kids and take them to school, then come home and work until I got up.
I put them to bed when little, we shared night feeds as sometimes dh would only be home early mornings himself.
You do what works best for your family.

If that's conforming to societal norms that's fine, if it isn't that's fine too

If you're making it work for you, just sleep when is best for you! X

My husband had this for years.
But he didnt have a job and he stayed up all night so that he could sleep.all day and avoid getting a job or taking on family responsibilities.
When he was forced to get a job his sleep pattern shifted to normal within a couple of weeks.
Are there things you need to get up for?
Do you want there to be things to get up for?
If your life is great and you are fulfilled and supporting yourself, it's fine. If not, maybe get a better routine. I dont know what you do but if you have things to do.in the day that helps.
Do you really want to.be a teenager for ever?

Part of me wants to say suck it up, that's how society works... But another part of me knows that DD's natural schedule is 3am to 10am. She's really struggling in school because she's getting a maximum of 3 hours sleep a night, but she's been like that since she was 6 months old. We've tried to change it, years of doctors etc. but nothing works. If you're the same, I think you might need to work your life around your sleep, which is a bit rubbish but can't be helped.

57mama

As long as she's fit and healthy, taking lots of exercise she'll be fine.
i used to worry about my dd, as shs would go to bed at 10pm, then be up at 3am. Then I realised she only needed about 3/4 hours in one go and could have the rest at a later time.
Now, her hours vary all the time, depending on what she has on.

If you keep these hours as long as you can get up for the odd time you may need to, there's no problem.
I still make weddings and funerals and family events when I need to. Even though this may require getting up early and travelling.

Instinctively, I'd think, 'how depressing'.

But, if you live alone and have no family needing you around at that time, why not?

My sleep pattern is 10pm - 2am then 4am- 6am. It's been that way for years and is fine even with a family.

Instinctively, I'd think, 'how depressing'.

Why?

I don’t feel that about —weirdos— people who choose to get up at 4am.

Why are larks seen as better than owls?

I've looked after many, many foster DC.

Within weeks they have all slept.

At night.

How do you explain that if "people have different patterns" ?

I think it is just what you have learned. Clearly, it is not genetic!

Presumably there’s some sort of trauma for most of those kids, or a lack of security?

I'd find it depressing in winter as you'd miss most if not all of the natural sunlight. Too much artificial light on an evening makes me feel abit weird, I have been meaning to buy some better bulbs though!

OP if your current lifestyle fits this sleeping pattern then that's what works for you. My children dictate my sleeping pattern

MrsPaulSmith that used to be quite common a couple of centuries ago - it was called first night and second night or something similar. People even used to meet up with friends in the middle. Fascinating!

I have to get up between 5.30-7 (different start times but early) 5 days a week and still my natural sleep pattern has been similar to yours, OP on the weekends and whenever I have time off. 2am-10am is optimal for me lol...unfortunately I don't have a job that fits this.

I am retired and widowed ,when working I worked at night,loved it.

My normal now is sleep from 3am-11am,I come alive at night,best time of the day for me.I swim late in the evening 6 times a week,read,watch TV.I also love my own company.

It is reassuring to know,I am not the only one,I know people who go to sleep as late as me,but no one who gets up as late.

The downside is when you have to get up early for a hospital appointment, . I'm accompanying dh in morning, an operation, taxi at 7.45.
I'll have to get up at 6.45 to drink enough coffee to wake me up.

Can’t be healthy in the winter - you would only get 3 hours of daylight

I'm another one. 2am to 3am is my falling asleep time. I wake up around 9am, but can easily slip back into deep sleep until 11am if I let myself.

I've spent years working nights quite happily, but I've retired now. Back when I was a young thing, I'd be at my best just as the nightclubs were closing at 2am.

I also have DSPD and my sleep timings are very similar. I haven't had it since childhood though; it was triggered by glandular fever when I was at university.

Moving time zones wouldn't help because we do respond to daylight, just not in the same way as a chronotypical person, so you'd adjust back to your normal times fairly soon.

There are genetic aspects to it, to whoever said it wasn't. Not everyone with those genes will develop it. And some people will develop it without having those genes. But there is an association. And it's not just habit; there are measurable differences in all kinds of circadian markers.

It's not just about sleep, either. Most systems in the body depend on daily cycles (including libido, digestion, and weight regulation). So you aren't necessarily just out of sync with society, but also with yourself. E.g. my ADH cycle doesn't line up with my sleep cycle, so I need to go to the toilet in the night more than most people would (2-5 times, 3 on average).