AIBU to sleep from 3am to 12 midday?

[Scarscar]

My natural sleep pattern falls from 3am to 12 midday and it's been this way for 25 years since I was a teen.
I've done all the things over the years to try and change it light box, various sleeping tablets, no screens, orange sleep glasses, not eating/drinking late, aromatherapy oils, hypnotherapy, meditation etc.
I'd like to sleep normal hours but I can't seem to find a way to change. I am at a point where I feel like just saying enough of trying to change it and just accept that those are my sleeping hours and I shall work my life around what my body seems to need. AIBU?

Those recommending changing bedtimes till you just get tired enough are ill-informed. It doesn't work long-term, and there is a risk of slipping into an N24 pattern, which is worse. That's where your sleep cycle doesn't fit into 24 hours at all, and free-runs round the clock; far more disruptive to life than sleeping later than average. A lot of blind people have N24.

And shift-workers suffer all kinds of chronic ill effects from "sleep training". As do we if we try to fit into society's schedule.

Regarding length of sleep, again, people with DSPD do tend to sleep longer than average as well as later. This may be to do with inefficiency of sleep (i.e. because of it not lining up with other rhythms), so you aren't getting the same quality of rest in an average length of sleep.

I think with shift workers is quite common to sleep in the morning, I for one hate earlys as I can not sleep even if I've been awake for 15 hours plus, so mostly do lates and sleep from 2am til 10am, best sleep is from 8am til 11am without a doubt.

There is also an equivalent shift the other way; Advanced Sleep Phase Disorder (ASPD), but that tends to not be as disabling as it's easier to still fit in with society and go to bed/wake up earlier.

No yanbu. Me too op. Me too.

Sadly my mother would say YABU. I’m back living with her and father - had insomnia since very very young caused by anxiety from her. The irony.

YANBU
This has been my sleeping pattern for years.

Just want to say "Tewitt Tewoo" tot he other owls!

I’m the same naturally but it doesn’t fit in with my life so I have to get up early. I find it very hard to start the day though and have no energy. Then late afternoon I get going. It’s 2am now and I’ve made myself stop work= physical work and although I’m wide awake I’ve had a shower and will try to sleep because I’ll be up at 7am. I will then not be able to get going on work- and I’m so busy- because I’m just a night person.
So to answer your question, I actually think it’s perfectly reasonable to have your own pattern but it just depends on whether you can make it work. It doesn’t really fit with parenting for the most part.
I definitely don’t see why people who get up early feel somehow more virtuous. They are just using different hours. My sister goes to bed at 9pm. I’m often working for another 5 hours. She feels she is getting more from the day because she’s up early.

My sleep pattern is 3pm till 9am

However this is no longer an option so I have to be up at 7am, do the school run, then I either have the option of sleeping or cracking on with things. The problem with this is if I sleep, then it disrupts the rest of my day if I dont I am a zombie, tried going to bed at 1am and I just lie there

YANBU. I mean, same here. I was catching up on a spot of work at midnight and I'm just about to go to bed now.

Generally if you find work and life that works with your natural night-owl-ness you will do well. If you attempt to force yourself into a cycle that's not natural for you you are likely to struggle. Self-discipline and "sleep hygiene" can only go so far.

My sleep pattern is rubbish. I have had insomnia for years and years, despite trying different products for sleep aid,and even resorting to drinking too much wine or other alcohol,but this is not the way to go at all. And now, for the last year,I have developed horrible tinnitus on top of everything, which is a nightmare to cope with.. So I might still be awake at 3am or 4am or later, and get up late,if manage to sleep at all.

I am retired now,and just kind of put up with all this non sleeping properly, but hate it, especially in the Summer months, or when there maybe some event to go to in the mornings.

But I love to write quite a lot, and have managed to write a few short stories in the middle of many a night, without my three cats demanding to have their food then.

There was a thread on here recently about being introverted and going to bed late, does anyone remember that? I had quite an anxious childhood and I wonder if that contributed to my habits.

Came in handy when I used to go clubbing and when I worked the night shift at a Christmas shelter. Also great for east-west jet lag. Very difficult for the opposite direction.

And getting up early for a period as suggested by pp just doesn't work. The more I avoid sleep the better I get at it. What often works is if I can get a short nap in the evening, then I'm in the right frame of mind and can slide right back into sleep at night. Not sustainable though.

i think hal the people that make an issue with it are a teen ybit jealous beasue they too want to sleep till midday.
some people who get up early have a real gripe(which i cant think fo the reason for)about people that like to sleep in.is it because its still got a stigma of being lazy.going bak to the day of lazy teens?i dont know.

if its ok with you and its your bodies natural way then go for it.sounds nice to me.
as long a your not suffering.and as long as if needs be you feel ok with changing if it was needed then its all fine.
some people have these body clocks.your fine

quickkimchi i found this i ended up still going to bed late and getting up.and slowwwwwwly got really upset and poorly becuae i was just so tired. until after a few weeks i ended up completely missing any alarms and slept til about 3pm because i was just so tired.and it freaked me out to suddenly wake at that late time.

I think I have this! If I go to sleep earlier like midnight as I did today then I often awake - like now - for an hour or two. I have 2 kids to get ready though so will be shattered tomorrow!

I also have DSPS (diagnosed by sleep clinic) and have mostly given up trying to keep normal hours. Like you I have tried melatoning, sad lamps, sleep training etc with little effect.

Having young kids was hell because of needing to be awake.

I currently manage to mostly fit my life round my sleep schedule, and am training to become self employed where I know I can work from lunchtime until late evening.

It is hard, people do judge you as lazy and the demands of society mean you have to get up early sometimes anyway.

It is very common in people with autism, and can also run in families. My family are all night owls, but not to the same extent as me.

@GrumpyHoonMain TBF I don't see any daylight - I go to work in the dark, come home in the dark and no windows in the office!

Can’t be healthy in the winter - you would only get 3 hours of daylight

Icelanders seem to cope with that.

I've had friends and family with that sort of pattern. I'm naturally a lark so it feels totally out of sync with my pattern. I feel sorry for them as society is not built that way.

If your life fits around that pattern then why not? I tend to avoid late nights out Because of my pattern. After midnight just feels wrong to be awake!

Plenty of people work nights. The issue comes if you try and fit yourself into a job. One of my friends decided to train as a teacher. Going to bed at 3am and having to be in the classroom teaching from 9am was not compataible. She quit the course pretty quickly.

Yanbu - I am exactly the same. After years of miserably trying to fit into a 9-5, and being at least an hour late every day for a good few years (fortunately my manager was understanding and, crucially, knew I'd do better work later in the afternoon/eve so was happy for me to informally be flexible), I quit last summer and have been so, SO much happier, often still at my desk at 2am.

Still have early starts for clients sometimes, which I manage with 16 alarms and a precautionary phone call from a friend, but on the whole, like you, I've entirely given up fighting my body.

I'm single by choice and at heart, and childfree by choice, so there's no one to upset - I do get comments about sleeping the day away but eh, that's not my problem!

@minipie really? It would be great if all my friends did the same thing!

This has inspired me to go to the GP now and try to get on the path to a diagnosis. I’m guessing they’ll want a sleep diary so will do that, although it’ll be rubbish as I have to force myself up for the kids and work.

The feeling of constant jet lag is so real, and I spend all my life looking for the next time when I can get a “catch up sleep”. On the rare occasions I can sleep 4 am - 12 it’s just so refreshing l, so much better than a different 8 hours.

When I used to have a fitness tracker.l I noticed I had far less deep sleep than others - between 1 and 2 hours. I’m not a fidgety sleeper either. I’ve instinctively always known that the morning hours Re much better, more efficient sleep for me.

I have this issue. I have ADHD as well and apparently DSPD is commonly a part of that. Never had it medically confirmed but the description of it fits me too. I have always felt my circadian rhythm is about 26-27 hours, rather than 24.

Moving time zones doesn't help as the sunset/rise is still at the wrong time. But I do cope better in winter as the daylight savings summertime is even more out of sync for me. 8am is OK in winter, 9am in summer. Any earlier feels like trying to get up at 4am.

School is fucking torture. I have no idea why it has to start so early. And we live in Germany so it starts at/before 8am most days Luckily being Germany I don't have to actually take my child but I still feel like a terrible parent if I don't at least see him before school. Luckily DH's work hours mean he can do that bit of parenting at the moment, and we have a baby so that's my excuse for a bit of a lie in.

I am at my best - concentration and work wise at about 1-2am, so it feels silly to go to bed at 11pm, but I try to for the sake of routine.

No YANBU at all. Don't let the larks make you feel guilty, there's a real pressure on night owls to conform. My (otherwise lovely) mum is a lark and her and my Gran used to highly disapprove of my late sleeping as a teen, looking back now I think that was very unfair.

I have and always will be a night owl, DD is exactly the same. We get really zingy and creative late evening and it's our fave time of the day.

Interestingly I also favour Autumn/Winter and shorter daylight hours, maybe the two are connected for me?

Currently have to work with society hours for work/school but planning on changing that for my long term health.

I hate the "one size fits all" approach some people have. Some people are larks, some owls. They think we are weird for sleeping late and "wasting the day", I think they are weird for enjoying the early mornings!

I have and always will be a night owl, DD is exactly the same. We get really zingy and creative late evening and it's our fave time of the day.

Interestingly I also favour Autumn/Winter and shorter daylight hours, maybe the two are connected for me?

Yes YES!!!!!