To get some Botox because I need a lift and not tell DH?

[Helpordont]

Tough 12 months.
3 failed rounds of IVF.
Constant abuse and bullying from DSS's mum.
Was headhunted for a new role, 30k lift in pay but dear god I'm working for it.
I train 5/6 days per week and commute 2 hrs a day.
I'm late 30's.
Have a Botox appointment at the weekend. Sick of looking shattered.
I've had it before - but stopped during the IVF and never told DH. He is mad against it.
AIBU to say stuff it and get it done as a pre Christmas pick me up?!
HELP

It would upset me if my partner did something secretly that I did not like the idea of. Either bring him round to your point of view or do something else. It is not the basis for a good relationship. Those that say your body your choice, relevant on some levels but a bad precedent. You are unhappy. This will not make it better and may make it worse. Another secret? Cant be a great idea. Lying to your partner may be excusable to save them pain but this?

Get the 3 areas. I have a crease in the middle and frown lines. I only got the 2 areas it looked a little crazy the way the corners of my eyebrows moved so much.
It is only heavy users who get the shocked stamped on shiny look.

I have it done all the time, nobody knows. I don't feel the need to declare it.

He won't even notice.

It's your body and your choice but maybe you should question why you're trying so hard for a baby with a man you can't actually talk to about something so minor 🤷

@Confusedbeetle so if a man doesn’t come round to your way of thinking you think we should not do what we choose. Jesus 🤦🏻‍♀️ To what end?!

@RosieLancs do you enjoy being so nasty?!

it doesn't kick in for a few days anyway, and good doctors always make it look natural. Just bring a bit of concealer to cover needle marks after. I never mention to anyone when i get it done, including dh. It's just a pick me up as you say.

elliemcx I love it when it starts to kick it and does it’s magic.

My DH is against such treatments so I didnt tell him when I had it done before our daughter's wedding. It was none of his business and he didn't notice anyway. I wouldn't have it again though, it made me really sick the following day and made my brow feel very heavy even if it didnt look it.

aHintOfPercy I quite liked that heavy feeling! It lasted a day or two and only came in waves. I found it reassuring that it was actually working!

It’s tested on animals, that alone would put me off I don’t want any animals killed or hurt for my vanity

I'd happily mow down a field of rabbits to look better but the thought of firing the botulism toxin into my forehead gives me the heebie-jeebies.

@Confusedbeetle

My husband has a beard, which I don’t like, but he does. He didn’t ask me if he should grow. It’s his face and his choice and I respect that. Therefore I don’t voice my opinion.

If I was in a subservient relationship where I needed to talk about everything and seek permission, I would feel suffocated.

We are all different, and just because we are in a relationship doesn’t mean the other partner needs to have an opinion.

@Yesmate I'm not being nasty, it's a serious question.
I wouldn't contemplate being with anyone who I couldn't have a basic conversation with let alone hitching my wagon to them for life.

Go for it. My husband didn't notice. Just thought I was getting better sleep.!

I can understand the sentiment but I honestly don't think Botox is the best way to go.

I wanted a bit of a boost after cancer treatment, I opted for starting to run everyday, cold baths everyday and my new thing which is this:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/HailiCare-Portable-Exerciser-Massager-Refining/dp/B01D5PV2AS

I can more than have a basic conversation with my husband. Does he get me visibility on every detail of his life? No.
I'm not lying or being dishonest to the degree it would hurt or upset him.
Anyway it's done now and I'm feeling better already which for me is the most important thing.

Go for it OP! I'm sorry you've had such a shit time lately and I really hope things get better for you. You sound like a lovely person and you deserve a treat. I'm a bit shocked by the nasty responses in this thread- either berating you for spending money on your appearance (so effing what? -plenty of people buy themselves a bag or new clothes/makeup/shoes to cheer themselves up). Good grief- you aren't going into debt or spending your H's retirement fund for goodness sake, I dont know why people are being so weird about it. It sounds like you know full well it isn't a "solution" to all life's problems- noone in this thread ever said it was so not quite sure why people are using that against you. Its a small thing that would give you a boost- its your money, your choice, your face, and you dont need "permission" from anyone, just like I'm quite sure your H doesnt consult you every single day about what he should wear, how to shave, how to style his hair etc. Do it- I love botox :)