To not want colleague to copy me

[chocolatesaltyballs22]

Husband recently bought me a pair of lovely unusual earrings for my birthday. Think designer, not high street. My work colleague was admiring them yesterday and asked me to drop a hint to her husband so that he could buy her the same ones for Christmas. AIBU in not wanting her to copy? We socialise a lot together outside of work with clients, so there's a good chance we'd be wearing them at the same time. I think I might have to simply forget to mention it to him.

My sister and BIL had the same reading at the end of their wedding

that is so not the same on so many levels!

No, having the same wedding reading is so not the same.

And yes, they are very unusual. I have never seen anything like them before.

But guess what OP...your colleague has a whole life outside of work in which she could wear these earrings.

Go on...give us a clue as to the designer

It’s easy.

“Hey friend’s DH, friend was saying she really liked my earrings from xxxx. Maybe if you’re stuck for Christmas ideas DW would like something from the same place, obviously not exactly the same earrings, that would be weird”

If they are special to you, you don't have to share where they come from.

Your colleague is rude and can find her own accessories, there's no need to copy you.

that is so not the same on so many levels!

How so?

I wouldn't get involved in dropping hints to someone's husband about presents - that's a ridiculous thing to ask you to do - but I see nothing wrong with your colleague wanting a similar pair. Unless you have all your clothes and jewellery made to a bespoke design, there'll always be other people wearing the same things as you.

what do you mean How so?

Most wedding ceremonies are 95% similar to each other, no one will remember what reading was at a previous one, I doubt even my own mother remembers exactly what I had chosen for mine.

If you want to make a fair comparison, you might be happy for your sister to chose the same engagement ring as yours, but for most people, it's just not on.

It's not normal to see someone's special present and ask the details to get the same things

How old are you, 12! Relax, in the grand scheme of things does it really matter.

YANBU

Would love a pic of them though

in the grand scheme of things does it really matter.

that applies to 98% of the threads on this forum

I'd be flattered and see it as a compliment. Also good publicity for the designer, hopefully they are a small independent company and not part of a corporate chain.

Most wedding ceremonies are 95% similar to each other. Really? Not in my experience.

If you want to make a fair comparison, you might be happy for your sister to chose the same engagement ring as yours, but for most people, it's just not on. I honestly wouldn't have cared at all had my sister ended up with the same engagement ring as I have. I really don't know why it would matter in the slightest.

But anyway, clearly we're not going to agree on this. Which is grand, we don't need to. I'm just still baffled as to why anyone would give a shite that some person that they work with has the same lumps of metal hanging from their ears.

@chocolatesaltyballs22 YANBU to be a little peeved - and the comments saying you're being childish/immature/petty, and 'what are you 12?!' and 'actually I thought younger!' are really uncalled for.

Yep definitely don't go dropping hints to her husband. What a bizarre request from her. I'd tell her straight that you're not going to say anything to her husband.

I think it's a little bit weird to want the exact same thing someone else has got. And 'imitation is the sincerest form of flattery' is a load of rot IMO, and is right up there with 'the more the merrier' (which people say when someone complains the friend they were meeting, brought someone else along to their planned 'coffee and catch-up...') Both are not true in the vast majority of cases, and it really grinds my gears when people say it!

I just want to see the earrings.

Thanks @MistyCloud - some responses can make you feel like you're going mad!

@chocolatesaltyballs22

😘

in real life, I don't know many people who would come up with I honestly wouldn't have cared at all had my sister ended up with the same engagement ring as I have. It might be true, but it's a very rare not to care! Most women would, it's just too weird.

Your colleague is rude and can find her own accessories, there's no need to copy you

How is this rude? She likes the earrings, so she wanted to know the designer! You lot will put good designers and brands out of business with your pettiness!

you can buy from the same brand without buying the exact same item!
It's nothing else but rude, or a very low self esteem and the need to copy because she can't have any original thoughts in her own head.

It's nothing else but rude, or a very low self esteem and the need to copy because she can't have any original thoughts in her own head

As far as we know, it’s not a pattern of behaviour and I find it a bit mean.

If you like a designer, especially an independent one, it’s very mean-spirited to keep it a secret in more ways than one

theEnglish have you never seen anything that someone else is wearing or has and thought "I wouldn't mind one of those myself"?

Liking the occasional same things as someone else has absolutely nothing to do with being rude or having low self esteem

I’d just tell her. Wouldn’t bother me at all.

I am completely boggling at some of these responses. “Rude”, “bizarre”. Wtf? She’s seen some earrings she likes and would love to get some. What on earth is wrong with that.

Are you the husband English?
Because you seem ever so invested.

Precious- yep
Childish-yep

And last time I looked, you don't get to tell people how to answer your questions on Mumsnet. That's kind of the point.

Have they got big feathers and pom-poms? Photos of you and him inside a big entwined heart? Were they from Claire's? Just tell her they were from Accessorise instead.