To feel thoroughly ashamed of myself?

[FlamedToACrisp]

My DH has just been hoovering the sofa and found... some parts of a game we haven't played for 2 years, the TV remote we lost a year ago AND a phone which disappeared the previous Feb! I also have a highly convincing answer to my question: "Where on earth do all my pens disappear to?" How embarrassing!!

Don't try eating the peanuts (or Minstrels and Pringles) that you find under sofa cushions - they're always stale and taste rank!

Cleaning under sofa cushions.... what fresh hell is this that we wimmins are supposed to do.

My runaround cleaning doesn't extend to such nonsense. Kitchen and bathrooms sparkling, Floors mopped and vacuumed (once a week or so when I see it needs it), that doesn't take much time whew. But anything else is for the after death cleaners to look after I'm afraid.

I hope they find lots of treasures!

OP I see you mentioned your DH did the job. I am so conditioned to cleaning being the wimmins job that I didn't register that. Hope he does LOTS more too, and I am sure he does.

Send him over here when he is finished, thanks.

Isn’t the sofa the first place to look for lost remotes?

Me, my husband, and our six house guests ALL searched both sofas when we lost our remote.

Still managed to elude us, until the sofa chose to disgorge the remote four months later.

@Winterdaysarehere did mine yesterday - now I want to put decs up but too early

Found three Maltesers - no cash

@Outsomnia he does far more housework than I do! The only bit I do and he doesn't is clean the loo. But I'm not gonna argue over that once every six months...

Thanks to Apple designing THE most losable remote controls ever (small, slim and black - the unholy trifecta), our sofa gets turned out at least once a day. 🙄

P.S. you clean your loo once every six months?

We gave away our old sofa to some students on Freecylcle. They picked it up, and out fell;

100's of half chewed dog toys.
toy cars.
biscuits.
peas and sweetcorn.
socks.
lego.
an elderly Major Morgan (bastard still worked)
a kazoo.

I dont know who was happier, the kids or the dog.

Our current sofa can't 'swallow' anything, but the children still try their best to shove biscuits/tuna sandwiches/socks etc down there. I would have turned the house upside down for a lost phone though!

No Liquorice Allsorts?

I'd make sure he hoovers once a week from now on!

Lost my mobile phone, sofa first place I looked but no luck. Found it 6 months later in the basket underneath the pushchair that is kept in the garden shed.

I recently took my ancient sofa to pieces and gave it a thorough scrub. I found one of my Aunt's dangly earrings. She died in 1983.

When my Nan passed away, we found £20 worth of coins, about 7 pens, an old diary, an old remote, couple of knitting needles and loads of Werther’s Orginals. She did have a cleaner come once a week but don’t think they ever bothered hoovering the sofa!

I bet there were raisins down there too. There's always raisins when I hoover under my sofa cushions

@Gazelda - are you sure they're raisins?

I have to strip the cushions off my sofa at least once a week.

Not for housework purposes, but my dog buries things in the cushions. Sometimes biscuits, sometimes Dead Things...

I bought a vintage sofa. Found some coins, an old biro and the longest cat's whisker I had ever seen. It also came with fabric moths, the ones that make little cases. What a bonus.

Love my sofa though.

Ours are recliner things which have gaps so the stuff falls right though to the floor below, which is handy in many ways (not that I clean under there much.

Having said that, DP's lost 2 remote controls in the last 2 months, and we can't for the life of us find either. The house isn't that big, and we don't have much stuff (it's rented, we've not been here long). I suspect that he's put them in the bin or something after falling asleep on the settee and dopily getting up to go to bed.

I lost a mobile phone in my bedroom. Only found it when I moved house over ten years later.

If you have sky Q box clicking the central button beeps the remote control, total lifesaver in our house

Did you find our dog's bone?

I emptied my handbag last week, and in it I found...

... four packets of paper tissues
... two fold-up shopping bags
... nine (yes 9) pens
... half a pencil
... keys for three houses
... a shopping list from a year ago
... a torch branded "GCHQ" (wtf?)

plus a few things that were actually supposed to be in there.

It's a really small handbag. At least now I know why I can never find what I want in it.

Cat has caused our dresser to be moved out, and has therefore found all the cat toys she has lost over the last 6 months.

Last time I moved house I found a mummified rat under the book case. There were quite a lot of things in various states of decomposition in the living but there were less identifiable.

I had wondered what the smell was.

@Simkin

I found a squashed mouse under the sofa cushions once.

@GaryWilmottsTeeth

My mum once found a perfectly preserved and very dried out dead frog under hers.

@katseyes7

My friend once blamed her partner's feet (!) for the rank smell in the living room. He insisted he'd bathed and put clean socks on. She had to apologise when she moved the sofa to hoover and found a decomposing mole that the cat had brought in.

@Vanhi

Last time I moved house I found a mummified rat under the book case.

LMFAO!!!

I have never found anything dead/mummified/undead/zombiefied under or behind anything (or down behind the cushions) But I have found cheese savouries, empty wotsit packets, a few smarties, pens, pencils, coins, pen lids, paper clips, and a lot of hair - (ewwwww) mine, and also cat hair!