To not understand how this is cultural appropriation?

[NewUsername18382828]

Namechanged for this.
DH and I decided to give DD (who is now 6) a name which is originally from another country. Neither of us have relatives or any connection there, we just liked the name. There is an English variant of the name but we didn't like the sound of it as much so went with the one we liked most. Didn't think it would be a problem, a name is a name.

Well anyway, a mum of a girl in DD's class at school was born in that country. She heard me call DD at the gates and started talking to me about her name. She was asking what our ties were to the country, and so on. When I said there weren't any and we just liked the name, she muttered something about cultural appropriation and left with her child. Fast forward another couple of weeks and I've just been informed by another parent that she's been badmouthing us, saying we shouldn't use a foreign name when we have no ties to the country, it's cultural appropriation.

AIBU to have no clue how this is cultural appropriation? I always thought a name was just a name.

Are people seriously being asked to consider the power dynamics between countries before naming their children?

My mother told me she named me ‘Scott’ because she liked Scotland. How she knew she liked it, I don’t know, as she’d never been. Maybe she saw some nice pictures somewhere, or watched a movie set there.

The Duke of Wellington was at least as Irish as Tony Cascarino. And there were plenty of other (mostly Anglo-Irish Prods) who made a killing in India ripping off the natives.

What's her real name? Sillybitch?

Usually the funniest are the people who fake a cultural heritage to garnish their offspring with yooneek names - always raises a giggle unless you're their poor little DC .

You're not doing that.

She's not fighting CA, which is unpleasant exploitation, either. Of course she isn't. People like that never bother with the real stuff.

Unless it is a sacred name or a religious one then you can't avoid names. If this is bad then every Chinese student I have ever met is committing appropriation with their English name

Is it Little Blue Feather or something?

Pointless thread if you don't say what the name is.
How are we supposed to know otherwise it give an opinion?
If you've name changed just for this thread, surely you can tell us?

All Im saying is I have a kid named Brett,Rhys,Liam and Gwynna and Im American....I apologize

My Neice has an Irish name. There is no connection to Ireland in her family at all. Her parents just liked the name and it is a beautiful name!
Anyone with a problem with that is a little odd in my opinion as someone’s name is none of anybody else’s business.

The Chinese adopt an English name partly because it is seen as 'cool,' but also because we are too thick to pronounce their real names correctly.

Titus have a word with the French about Kevin not being Anglo-Saxon.

Would love to know the name

saymyusername
It's not about considering the power before naming a child, more people explaining why it might be a bit weird / odd / unusual to name your child something so evidently not remotely linked to your own culture and if you do then it shouldn't be surprising if and when someone points it out.

On a different forum I saw a thread where people were debating the name Cohen. Some idiots couldn't comprehend that it has religious significance in Judaism and isn't a first name. I would imagine they're the sort of people who'd say they love how unique Kanesha is and can't at all see how that links to Black culture.

Hmmm so many posts! What's the name?

WHAT IS THE NAME OP??!! You've name changed so you can just say! There is no way a proper conclusion can be made until we know.

If your daughter is called Cherokee and your heritage is not Native American but white British then yes, due to the history of NA oppression and Britain's colonial history it's CA and it's not appropriate.

If your daughter is called Dallas it's okay (part from the questionable taste) because America is not an oppressed people.

This pp has it bang on with their explanation. A few people on this thread could do with educating themselves on CA instead of just saying it's always "rubbish"!:
It depends on the power dynamic. If it's a name from a country which used to be in the British empire, then yes, it's totally cultural appropriation. If it's, say, a Scandinavian name, then it's not a problem. Cultural appropriation is about people from countries with historical or contemporary power exerting that power by picking and choosing parts of the subordinate country's culture to use for themselves. Other people and their cultures don't exist merely for our benefit, to sound pretty, or look exotic, or whatever. And while the individual action may seem trivial, when it's happening a lot throughout society, it really isn't.

Hey Mockers!

Anglo Irish Prods are not really Irish to most of us. You know, the clue is in the name and I guess on this occasion, we must allow the good duke to identify himself as he wished

Maybe these days, he could actually identify as a horse!

It does seem strange to deliberately do something you don’t have to do that might upset someone else. Quite often threads like this come down to that.

Lol, literally no one, including the man himself, considers the Duke of Wellington to be irish. So he can hardly be used as evidence of the Irish invading and subjugating other nations. Would you stop

I was asking whether those who think cultural appropriation is a load of nonsense are white because I always find it curious that people can be so dismissive of a concept they haven't had and will never have direct experience of.

It typically does affect non white people in this country as our power structures and history are of white dominance. It may sound trivial to you but perhaps it isn't to the Indian girl who was called the P word at school for wearing a bindi then sees vogue announce its the "must have item" for the festival season and the girls who bullied her about it are wearing them at Glastonbury. Or the black woman who was told her natural hair was unprofessional and advised she needed to chemically relax it, only then for "kinky" hair to be the latest must have accessory! The difference is the white people can drop these things when they slip out of fashion without making any attempt to understand them or be an ally to cultures from which they originate.

For many people, they live with micro acts of racism every day until aspects are deemed cool by white people.

I'm white but my DH is black. Until I was with him I fully admit I was so ignorant to many elements of racial prejudice. But over the 10 years we've been together I've tried to understand as much as I can - though I'll never be able to experience it.

Cultural appropriation isn't about saying you can't enjoy a curry or listen to rap music. It's about understanding that people can be ridiculed/bullied/abused for displaying different traits or behaviours until they are validated by those in power.

OP IMO a good response would have been to discuss why the other woman felt this way instead of posting on here to have your opinion that it's nonsense validated. Perhaps after hearing her you still would have thought it was silly but perhaps you wouldn't?

The Chinese adopt an English name partly because it is seen as 'cool,' but also because we are too thick to pronounce their real names correctly

'too thick' is a bit harsh! I work with quite a few Malaysians and they have all adopted English names. I did try and pronounce their actual names and it was not easy at all.

I do cringe a bit when people use for example a welsh or Irish name without the ability to pronounce it correctly.

Deirdre is a good example of that, its supposed to be pronounced Deer-dra but in England it's been changed to Deer-dree

BertrandRussell
You're right.
But then half of AIBU is people having the option of doing something sensible or picking any number of options, choosing the one that isn't technically wrong but is likely to cause offence/upset / create drama and then claiming they're surprised that anyone has commented or noted it.

It depends on the power dynamic. If it's a name from a country which used to be in the British empire, then yes, it's totally cultural appropriation. If it's, say, a Scandinavian name, then it's not a problem.

Can we have a definitive list then? Most to least powerful? Thanks

"Cultural appropriation" should not depend on the cultures. That is the equivalent, to me, of saying we are not equal. How on earth can choosing a name from another culture or country for your child offend anyone? What happened to imitation being the best form of flattery?

Same with the surname Gallagher which should be pronounced Galla-her not Gallig-er

Although yes actually, I was assuming names like svetlanka or Cecile rather than maybe an African name or one like Cherokee or Navaho.

I think if it seems ridiculous or like it's mocking then yes it's wrong. If you've given your blonde daughter the name Abrihet or Effiwat then it's a big weird more than anything

but in England it's been changed to Deer-dree

I’m Irish and know lots of Irish Deer-drees.