To not understand how this is cultural appropriation?

[NewUsername18382828]

Namechanged for this.
DH and I decided to give DD (who is now 6) a name which is originally from another country. Neither of us have relatives or any connection there, we just liked the name. There is an English variant of the name but we didn't like the sound of it as much so went with the one we liked most. Didn't think it would be a problem, a name is a name.

Well anyway, a mum of a girl in DD's class at school was born in that country. She heard me call DD at the gates and started talking to me about her name. She was asking what our ties were to the country, and so on. When I said there weren't any and we just liked the name, she muttered something about cultural appropriation and left with her child. Fast forward another couple of weeks and I've just been informed by another parent that she's been badmouthing us, saying we shouldn't use a foreign name when we have no ties to the country, it's cultural appropriation.

AIBU to have no clue how this is cultural appropriation? I always thought a name was just a name.

Also what if you’re Anglo Irish or a NI unionist are you not allows to use an Irish name ? It’s all loaded with politics and at the end of the day I’ve never actually ahead anyone in real life complain that they’re sat next to a Siobhan who can’t produce an Irish passport on demand

@Footiefan2019, why would a NI unionist consider for a single second an Irish-language name?

So they change their names rather than you learn to pronounce theirs. Right......!

No it isn't like this at all. I used to work for a Chinese company. They do it to make life easier for themselves generally when doing business in the West, they simply can't be bothered to get into the name pronunciation and spelling convo every time they make a phone call and it is a perfectly accepted and normal thing to do. They actually quite like having a western name too. You are showing ignorance by taking offence on their behalf.

Thanks to those who approve of my name. I hated it at school, and changed it, to a name I now also hate. I have a sister called Andromache, which I think is just gorgeous.

Is it Farrah

As always it's just so yawn listening to white mumsnet trying to argue that a minority person's feelings should be dismissed / the woman 'should be told to fuck off' / told to 'speak another language'. Unless we know the name and the significance we simply CAN'T judge if the OP was BU.

In your opinion. I don't think the name makes any difference unless you think some cultures are inferior to others, and the OP didn't choose it to cause any offence or would not be taken aback by the woman's reaction, so how could she have been unreasonable?

You can be unintentionally unreasonable though. I would never call my kids a name from a language that I didn’t understand and had no connection to. I think it’s culturally insensitive to do so. Not everyone would agree, but some people would think that.

I am a bit surprised at the number of people on here who appear to have a) very strong opinions about cultural appropriate being tosh, but b) have apparently never taken the trouble to google the damn phrase, to find out what it actually means. It's like my four year old insisting he hates mash potato, when he's never had it before and doesn't know what it is.*

Once more for the people with their fingers in their ears/who don't know how to use google:

Cultural appropriation is not the same thing as cultural exchange. Cultural appropriation is people from a more powerful culture taking on the 'nice' bits of an oppressed culture, but not having to deal with the problems that people who are actually from that culture face everyday.

Or to put it another way: you remember that song 'Common People' by Pulp? That's a song about cultural appropriation.

*true story.

Massive respect to @doadeer and your wonderful explanations, though its ultimately futile trying to explain CA on Mumsnet!

I believe that the use of the name Kevin on the continent dates back to Kevin Keegan.

Cultural appropriation or not, it’s just cringe giving your child a name from a culture or language that it’s not related to. As though by bestowing that name on the child, you can imbue the child with whatever fantasy you have about that culture. Just cringe cringe cringe.

I from a unionist family but have a very irish name. Not that uncommon.

👋🏻 come back OP👋🏻

Interesting that there are no Irish Erins in Ireland, i think of it as an Irish 2nd or 3rd generation name. I love the name Saoirse but wouldn't use it if living in Ireland.

People know exactly what it is. Its still bullshit.

If the worst thing your 'culture' has to confront is a toddler you're never going to meet having a name some of you ancestors had as well, I really dont care.

Once more for the people with their fingers in their ears/who don't know how to use google:

Cultural appropriation is not the same thing as cultural exchange. Cultural appropriation is people from a more powerful culture taking on the 'nice' bits of an oppressed culture, but not having to deal with the problems that people who are actually from that culture face everyday.

Google is just a search engine. I can write a blog post stating that cultural appropriation is when you forget to put the milk in the fridge. Then, someone could Google it, find my blog post, and then quote my blog as fact. It doesn't mean it is true.

One dictionary definition of cultural appropriation is: "The unacknowledged or inappropriate adoption of the customs, practices, ideas, etc. of one people or society by members of another and typically more dominant people or society."

It's a little different from what your Google search suggests.

I do think using a name from another culture is cultural appropriation; however, I think a more important question is whether this is offensive or not. I think that is subjective though.

No it isn't like this at all. I used to work for a Chinese company

I worked in China as well. They don’t really care if you mangle their name (they will mangle yours as the day is long). It’s all about fashion—it is trendy and fashionable to have an English name.

Also, anyone who has worked in China can attest to the wildly inappropriate names they give themselves. We called them stripper names (somewhat un-PC, I know), but I really never have met so many Candys and Cherrys as I did in China.

I would ignore her as she is a buffoon.

Cultural appropriation or not, it’s just cringe giving your child a name from a culture or language that it’s not related to. As though by bestowing that name on the child, you can imbue the child with whatever fantasy you have about that culture. Just cringe cringe cringe.

Are we back in school? Cringe?

Its not cringe HTH

I'm an oldie and was always a bit surprised at people choosing Ruth/ Rebecca/ Rachel as names when my DCs were young as to me they were Biblical names (none of us went to church).
They were very popular names then, and still are.
But each to their own.
Cultural appropriation is the wrong term in OP's case, it is more cultural approbration!!

kind of stupid really, so many different languages have the exact same names, often with a slightly different spelling or wildly different spelling but still the same name, John... Sean...Jean, or Katheryn... Catherine... Katya...Katia...katja, Mary...Maria...Meri etc etc
i think if you chose a non English spelling or pronunciation you are paying it the ultimate complement as often it is far nicer looking and sounding than plain English

@FlamingoAndJohn
I believe that for a girl it should be spelled Bronwen as ‘wyn’ in Welsh denotes ‘son of’ like the ‘mac’ in Scottish surnames.

I do know a couple with Welsh heritage but agree most seem to be English

I'm not sure how I feel about this. It wouldn't have occurred to me that it was cultural appropriation to give your child a name from another culture.
I went to school with a white girl who had an Indian name, her parents just liked it and we thought it was so exotic. To whom does the name belong then? The nation of India? Anyone with any Indian roots or connection to India? Someone who has been on holiday there and fell in love with the place? Someone who met their husband there and wanted to honour that when choosing their daughter's name? Who can police what may or may not be an acceptable or offensive reason for naming your child a name you love?

Is the mum who is calling cultural appropriation the only family in the school from this particular culture? Could that be why she is so upset/annoyed about it?

“ There’s a comedian called Cariad Lloyd. No Welsh connection AFAIK. Cariad means love in Welsh, but it isn’t actually a name in Welsh, any more than Love is a name.”
Cariad Lloyd has a Welsh grandfather. . She has talked about how her name not actually being a name but a term of endearment has sometimes caused difficulties - apparently she worked with a Welsh speaking director once who found it impossible to call her by her name because “That was what he called his wife”!