Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

AIBU to change to a home birth at 38 weeks?

72 replies

Eyezswideshut · 25/11/2019 11:02

I've had a low risk pregnancy and I am booked to give birth at a stand-alone MLU which is about 10 minutes from my house and 15 minutes transfer from the hospital. The hospital is about the same distance from my house.

I have my birth plan worked out and I want to stick to gas and air (can have at home) and don't think I'll want the pool (I like lukewarm baths since I've been pregnant and could have 1 of those in early labour if I want). The monitoring would be the same at home as the MLU. If I need extra monitoring at home or the MLU, I'd be transferred to hospital. Same if I wanted an epidural.

Me and DP have always been mildly worried about me going into labour and having to go in while his kids are in bed. We (including his ex) queried if it would be better if they dont stay for that reason until the baby is born but I dont want them to feel pushed out in any way even if we dont mean to.

My friend had a home birth 2 days ago (2nd baby) but I realised that actually I could do the same. I had a appt with MW today and she said I could change now but get on with it if I want to.

My mum thinks it seems risky to change so late on but I cant really understand why.

DP says his nan had all her babies at home so he doesn't think it is a big deal and he'll be shitting himself either way.

Does it sound unreasonably dangerous to you?

OP posts:

PurpleFrames · 25/11/2019 11:14

I personally haven't had any babies so can't speak from experience. But I would of thought the safest scenario is one where you are comfortable, unstressed and supported. If that's at home, that's at home. Congratulations

PooWillyBumBum · 25/11/2019 11:21

If that’s what you want to do I’d go for it especially if choice is that or standalone MLU where transfer time is the same.

If you have a last minute change of heart again surely you can just go into the MLU anyway?

selfhelpneeded · 25/11/2019 11:24

I don't think it's risky changing your mind late on, what difference does it make.

I assume it's your first and for that reason alone I wouldn't do it.

crustycrab · 25/11/2019 11:25

"My mum thinks it seems risky to change so late on"

How is the date you decide to have a home birth going to have any effect on the risks or the outcome? Doesn't make any sense.

Is there a reason you aren't having it in the hospital?

OlderthenYoungerNow · 25/11/2019 11:26

I would plan for it now. The community midwives will need to fill in paperwork and bits first, but it's totally fine to sya you want a homebirth and then change your mind and go to the MLU when you need to call the midwife team. You can't do it the other way round.

I'm 40 weeks and have my homebirth planned. I did it all at the 37 week midwife appt. I've borrowed a birth pool from a local doula though.

The only thing to say is that if you need to be transferred then it'll be to the Labour ward, not the MLU but imagine you know that?

See if you can get a copy of the positive brith book which has really useful info about homebirth.

OlderthenYoungerNow · 25/11/2019 11:28

Unless there is a reason/risk identified, why would anyone want to give birth in hospital? The stats are not in favour of that being the best option in any way.

I meant to say @Eyezswideshut, if you can't get the book I can take photos of the relevant pages in my copy.

ActualHornist · 25/11/2019 11:29

Personally I wouldn’t. You’re so close to a MLU, this is your first (presumably?) so while you might only want g&a now you might change your mind.

Nothing to do with you changing your mind.

ChrisPrattsFace · 25/11/2019 11:29

I wanted a home birth, but we didn’t in the end.

I would guess it depends on your local trust, as at ours you have to have decided by 35 weeks - due to staffing/location/home check etc so it would be too late around here for you to change your mind.

FWIW, I had a wonderful experience din hospital. I see only negative stories ever get told especially on mumsnet, but I wouldn’t change any part of mine.

NotQuiteUsual · 25/11/2019 11:29

If that's what you want and you're low risk then go for it. You can change you mind and transfer from home, but you can't transfer from the MLU or Hospital to home.

ActualHornist · 25/11/2019 11:30

Not sure what your DP’s nan’s experience has got to do with anything though!

selfhelpneeded · 25/11/2019 11:31

Ah just re read and you're planning to give birth at a MWLU anyway. I don't think there's any difference between them and being at home tbh.

I don't think it's advisable to have your step kids in the house though.

I had a low risk pregnancy but a complicated labour which resulted in rotational forceps in theatre all prepped for an emergency section.
DS was back to back and his head was at an awkward angle. My labour was so painful that at around 6/7cm I was begging DH to help me. My whole body was shaking with adrenaline and I threw up with every contraction. Quite traumatic for children to hear I'd think.
I do not have a low pain threshold (I stayed at home for 2 days with an ankle that was broken in 4 places before seeking medical assistance.)

Expect the best, prepare for the worst.

Original poster

Eyezswideshut · 25/11/2019 11:32

The MLU seemed nicer and fitted everything that I wanted. I was a bit worried about not having the epidural immediately available but I'm more confident about that now.

And yes I know any transfer will be to hospital. The midwife told there is nothing that theyd have at the MLU that they wouldn't have at a home birth. Especially when it comes to transferring in labour.

OP posts:

hammeringinmyhead · 25/11/2019 11:35

If you think you want to try a homebirth then no, it doesn't matter when you decide to do it.

I don't personally know anyone who managed it. In my NCT group of first babies, only one managed to stay in the MLU, the other 7 either started in or transferred to hospital and the one who wanted a homebirth was told no because there were no midwives free.

As for the question of why anyone would want to give birth in a hospital - I did! I liked the reassurance of knowing I wouldn't have to go 30 minutes if I needed a section.

PooWillyBumBum · 25/11/2019 11:36

If it makes you feel any better epidurals are rarely immediately available in labour wards anyway, usually a wait involved.

It is completely and utterly your choice, not your mums or the Midwife’s or your partners. Hope all goes well whatever you choose!

Original poster

Eyezswideshut · 25/11/2019 11:36

In terms of the stepkids, I would be more comfortable if I knew they could be picked up from the house where we were rather than having to leave the house and drop them. Theoretically, I could be labouring downstairs while they sleep and someone could pick them up first thing so they wouldn't have to be woken up abruptly in the night and moved. But if I'm really noisy, someone could come and get them in the middle of the night. They are relatively heavy sleepers.

I'm going to text midwife.

OP posts:

TillyTheTiger · 25/11/2019 11:38

I'm biased because I had a horrible first birth in the MLU and an absolutely perfect dream second birth at home but I would say that labouring somewhere that you are happy, relaxed and comfortable is likely to result in fewer interventions whether that's hospital, MLU or home.

Youhavewonaprize · 25/11/2019 11:40

There’s no reason why you can’t plan for a home birth at this stage, but you probably want to get on with it as there are few bits you will need to pick up (tarps/shower curtain for floor, puppy/info pads etc). Depends where you live but the mws are unlikely to provide everything that you’ll need.

I had a homebirth a few months ago and I would do it again in a heartbeat. It happened overnight so my DD (age 2) stayed asleep upstairs. DSS (15) was not with us that night, he had been due to stay the previous night but I felt that something was happening and he chose to go home, although nothing did actually happen. Might be worth asking the kids if they mind being around, and dad/mum could drop off/pick up depending on time of day and distance away?

I had a pph and had to be transferred to hospital afterwards but I wasn’t scared at all and they treatment I got at home was the same as if I’d been at hospital. So even if it does “go wrong”, it’s not always as bad as lot of people lead you to believe! Good luck!

ChanklyBore · 25/11/2019 11:40

Making a journey in labour to a MLU, and then having to journey back again with a brand new baby and immediately postpartum doesn’t make sense to me if there is nothing available at the MLU you can’t have at home. Let the midwives do the journeys, means you and your new baby don’t have to.

selfhelpneeded · 25/11/2019 11:40

Step kids could be collected by someone when you go into labour before going to MWLU though as you wouldn't be leaving immediately.

OlderthenYoungerNow · 25/11/2019 11:42

It can take up to 30 mins to prep the room for a c section if you're in hospital anyway 🤷‍♂️ also, you're much more likely to have a c section if you're in hospital as you are more likely to be kept on your back, be in a brightly light room, be hooked up to machines, have a stalled labour, be offered an epidural and then be coached to push and end up with forceps or a c section.

A lovely safe calm home environment - where there is no known risk to baby or mum - can avoid that cascade of intervention. If there is any risk at all, being whipped up to the hospital in 15 mins is going to be fine and won't delay emergency interventions. Any sign of distress the community midwifes get you there.

crustycrab · 25/11/2019 11:46

There will be no need to "abruptly wake them" in the middle of the night anyway. It rarely starts off like an episode of eastenders. You calmly wake them as you normally would and they get collected.

His ex also seems happy to keep them a bit more often during this time so you really should minimise the chances of them being there if you can

Original poster

Eyezswideshut · 25/11/2019 11:50

Step kids could be collected by someone when you go into labour before going to MWLU though as you wouldn't be leaving immediately.

My concern with this is that many of my friends recently have gone from having contractions and being okay at home to needing to have attention immediately. I'm imagining being in labour with the kids in bed and thinking it will be alright until the morning so no need to get anyone up and then suddenly needing to get the kids up, out of bed, dressed and waking up their nan or mum to come and get them or us drop them off to my parents on the way (it isn't actually on the way either). It just seems really stressful.

OP posts:

Original poster

Eyezswideshut · 25/11/2019 11:53

Taking the needing to leave the house bit out of the equation seems sensible. I'd have never thought I would have a home birth a year ago!

OP posts:

selfhelpneeded · 25/11/2019 11:58

I don't fully understand your reasoning tbh? Either way the children should be collected when you go into labour. As you pointed out, things can ramp up quickly so why would you leave them upstairs asleep when you know you're in labour?

As I've said I don't see the difference between MWLU and home in terms of the medical side so it doesn't make a difference. I wouldn't base your decision on where the step children will be though. Just have them collected once you go into labour.

selfhelpneeded · 25/11/2019 12:00

And there's no point imagining you may have a gentle 12 hour overnight early labour before the children need to be collected. You've no idea what time you'll go into labour, where you'll be or how long it will take so plan accordingly.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread